Yesterday I paid a visit to a place in Milwaukee where one can crawl into an egg-shaped pod filled with warm water absolutely saturated with epsom salts. The resultant solution is quite dense, and as a result one floats in it very nicely. After crawling in, one pulls the lid down, turns off the internal lights and speaker, and finds oneself in absolute darkness and absolute silence. At least until the lights come up on their own or you push a button to end the experience.
I’d always wanted to try this sort of thing out, ever since I saw the movie Altered States back in 1980. But life was busy, and it was never real convenient to do so.
Until a few months ago, when at the church auction my wife was organizing, I noted an item up for silent bid, for three 1 hour “float” sessions in an isolation tank at a new business not too far away. I wasn’t bidding on anything else at the auction, but this item intrigued me, so I decided to bid the minimum amount, $70. And I won.
Finally, the Mrs. and I find time to go. The place has a number of chambers and we are able to schedule our sessions together. We’re given a tour and instructions, sign the waiver saying we’re not on drugs or have a history of psychosis, etc. We are then left to our experiences in our own individual isolation chamber rooms, complete with a decent dressing area, shower, and the pod itself.
I strip, shower, and climb in. One can choose to wear a swimsuit but nudity is recommended. The water is body temperature, and feels quite comfortable. No odor, no abnormal feel to it. I grasp the pod inner handle, pull it closed, and lie back. I tap the controls next to me to turn off the light and sound. I do NOT want to hear their ‘soothing music’ during my experience. And I float.
I’m fully buoyant, my face is well out of the water. I bump the side a bit with one hand, but a gentle push takes me away from that, and I find myself floating fully comfortably, as if on a cloud. The air seems a bit humid for a minute, but that sensation passes quickly. My neck, where I did a gentle electric shave 6 hours earlier, stings a bit. That passes soon too. It’s pretty freaking comfortable. No light, no sound other than my own breathing and my own heartbeat. I am enjoying it.
My mind ponders the womb. I review obstetrical anatomy, to which I was no stranger back in the days when I delivered babies. I realize again just how interesting topologically the female reproductive system is. I am soon pondering the topology of the kidneys and the remainder of the urinary system as I realize just how important topological principles are to physiologic functions. Not just in the kidneys or uterus, but for the entire body! Internal bits which are really topologically part of the outside like the intestines, the uterus, even seminiferous tubules and sweat glands! Internal bits which much stay internal, like the circulatory and nervous systems. What a wonder.
I contemplate my own chronic muscle pain issues, and visualize the actin and myosin chains interacting in my muscles, and realize how much of the dysfunction in my trapezius muscles are due to maladaptive muscle fiber linkages. Topology again! I find myself explaining this phenomenon to Scooby Doo, who for some reason has appeared in my visualization to listen to my lecture on the issue.
OK, my mind has wandered, and to unexpected places. But not unpleasantly so. Quite the opposite. I’m completely relaxed, feeling almost no sensations, and just really, really enjoying the quiet, the lack of distractions. My thoughts continue to roam happily over a thousand different items. I am mellow.
Finally, the lights come on in the pod. The speaker announces I have 2 minutes to get out before the recycling jets come on for its 30 minute filter/purge cycle before the next customer. I am slightly bummed. I could have stayed a LOT longer.
I shower off the epsom salt residue (missing some in my outer ear canals though, for I’m shedding salt from there hours later), dress and move to their ‘meditation lounge’ for water and tea and M & M’s as I wait for the Mrs. I am still in a state of major relaxation, and am able to appreciate the lack of tension in my neck muscles. I contemplate signing up for a 90 minute session next time.
The Mrs. joins me a few minutes later. She had fun and was willing to do it again, but not soon. Nor for 90 minutes. She’d found the epsom salts to be a bit more ‘stingy’ as she’d done a LOT of biking the day before, and that took her a bit to get over. She’d opted for the music during her float, and found it nice at times but distracting at others. She did not meet Scooby Doo on her float, nor anyone else of interest. 
We wander off to have dinner with our daughter at an iconic german restaurant in town, then go hear Bryan Cranston speak on his book tour. What a nice day!
Now, 18 hours later, I’m still fairly mellow though my baseline aches and pains have returned. I surf the internet, pricing isolation pods and seeing if they’ll fit into that corner of our bathroom where the jacuzzi we never use anymore sits. I find a few models which should fit just fine in that spot!
