The shift was about 25 minutes of terror, and about 7 1/2 hours of filling out paperwork that says “I swear to god I’ll only park where I’m supposed to. I swear I’ll wear my uniform correctly. I promise not to speak badly about the resort” etc. etc.
There is a field training program, which consists of me responding to calls only when my EMT trainer responds to the same call. There was a lot of minor stuff, like filling out paperwork for a housekeeping woman who had a hotel room door close on her foot.
The really cool/terrifying call was dispatched as a seizure. We got there with the guy still writhing on the ground, and bystanders kneeling next to him with no idea what to do. You can’t really do much for a seizure patient except try to keep them in a position that prevents their tongue from accidentally choking them. So all we could do is basically wait for the ambulance to get there. Like 9 security guards formed a circle around us to keep all the bystanders away, because there’s hundreds and hundreds of people walking through this particular area every hour.
The guy went limp and woke up, and was absolutely unresponsive. It’s typical for a person suffering a major seizure to be confused when they come out of it, but this was worse than I had ever heard of. After about five minutes he started trying to roll himself over, but still couldn’t communicate, didn’t recognize simple voice commands, etc. A few minutes later, he looked very deliberately at us (a good sign) glanced around at all the commotion around us, and said “my california pancakes grandmother all the?”
Long story short, for the entire time we were waiting for the ambulance crew, he spoke in English without any exotic accent or anything, but the words were just scrambled eggs. He was urgently trying to tell us something, and got frustrated that we couldn’t understand him. All the way to the ambulance he kept trying to communicate, but it was just gibberish.
We found out later that the ambulance never transported him, because he suddenly made a complete recovery inside the van, told them that he knew what was wrong, it was diagnosed, and the hospital can’t help him. He refused further treatment.