You’ve got big toes?
He smells good? 
Ack.
This thread has been added to the Classic Posts section at the TMHP. 
Jeez, you must get some wicked crazy belly button lint!
You are fortunate in being married to an M.D.
MEMO
TO: Doctor J.
FROM: A Friend
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Bring home the special lubricant and plastic covered forceps from pediatric emergency.
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You don’t want to know why.
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Also some Thorazine – she’s finally lost it completely!
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The plus side is, you can write this up for JAMA before those Irish ER attendings get off their duffs and write their case history.
Not quite believing that I was considering trying such a thing, I took my wedding ring off my finger. I tried it.
Not even close. My nose is admittedly pretty big, but my hands are very big, so the ring’s just too big.
I love this thread! I think it’s nonsense, of course, but that’s perfect, because it’s the natural reverse of Edward Lear’s classic, The Owl and the Pussycat (verses II & III). (I’ve always liked the last lines of verse I, too.)
My SO likes to stick his finger in his (somewhat deep) belly button. It calms him. Having a finger in the belly button unfortunately has the opposite effect on me. I look forward to the day when he learns and remembers this fact.
I wish I could persuade him to join these boards and attend Dopefests, so that we could witness the “how much money can you fit in your belly-button” challenge that would take place between him and kabbes.
We aren’t married, so I was unable to insert a wedding ring into my nostril. The silver ring I wear on my right hand middle finger fitted up my left nostril nicely.
Hmm. Did I use the word “big” enough in that sentence?
[hijack]
I still don’t understand those people saying they can put most of their finger into their belly button? Maybe I’m not understanding the English language correctly. The belly button is that thingy on your belly, where they cut the thingy connecting you to your mother, right? We’re not talking about some other bodily orifice?
Every belly button I’ve been able to observe appeared to have a depth of at most a centimeter (1/3 inch). Is this some magic trick I’m not aware of? Or is this an American custom, like being circumcised?
And with respect to the wedding ring thing: I’m ashamed to share the same board with you. Freaks, I say, freaks!
[/hijack]
I’m sure my ring would fit up my nose (it’s a size 4), but I don’t want to try it at work. I’m a temp and it would seriously narrow my chances of scoring a real gig.
However…as long as we’re talking insertions, I had a friend who I was chatting with on the phone (when we were kids) and she screamed and said she had inadvertently stuck her toe up her dog’s butt. Personally, I think she HAD to be concentrating on that to actually do it.
Hijack to beat all hijacks: holy hell, ok, thats twice in two days I have heard a reference to Owl and the Pussycat, when 25 years has gone since I last heard somone mention it. This was my favourite when I was a child, and I had completely forgotten it until yesterday. Cue twilight zone music. Getting me an owl&pussycat tattoo during the week so I never forget it again.
end of line, I mean hijack…
Tusculan, I had always thought my friend with the really deep belly button was an oddity, but the other posters on this board have proved me wrong. I don’t know anyone else personally with a deep belly button though.
And yes, we are definitely talking about the little indention everyone has on their stomachs, where the thingy from our mommies were attached to us.
o, OW, ow!!! I’m so glad that I’m alone in the office today. I’m gasping, snorting, laughing myself half to death.
My dog is staring at me as if she thinks I’m about to self-destruct.
You guys are too funny.
Congratulations, jjim, you’re post is solely responsible for launching me out of a 2 year lurker streak and made me register, only to post:
IT FITS. I CAN"T BELIEVE IT FITS.
woe is my life that I havesunk to shoving objects in my nose out of boredom. woe indeed.
It fits! It fits! …and yes, I knew it would.
I used to fit grapes into my hubbin’s ears and then nibble them out. Big hit with company over. Pretty soon everyone was stuffin’ grapes in their ears.
Do not attempt this stunt with raisins.
I had to give it a try. Had. To.
Thing is, I don’t wear my ring daily, due to work conditions (getting food particles, water, and detergents under that ring have caused some serious skin troubles), and when I got home today, it was sitting on the desk.
I looked at it, wondering if it really could fit into my nostril.
Imagine my surprise when it did–well, most of it. It’s a Claddaugh ring, so the crown was sticking out.
I was greatly amused by this.
I always wondered what happened there.
I will have you know that while attempting to set this thread aside for the sake of some really dry mumbo-jumbo, I was beset with recurring visions of various and sundry strangers sitting in front of their respective monitors shoving jewellry into nostrils, and fingers into belly buttons.
Then quite possibly the funniest girl I know walked into my office this morning complaining that her nose hurt, like it had been stretched or something. oh, the visuals…
For the record, poking me in the belly button is like giving me a right jab to the g-spot - an interesting sensation, but not completely controllable results.
Funny,I used to eat styrofoam cups without any side effects. I haven’t tried the ring thing,since I have no wife or girlfriend(probably because women can tell I’m the sort to stick things up my nose).