A couple of months ago, I was a contestant on a radio talk show. I played Family Feud, and did extraordinarily badly. The DJ’s proceeded to mock me and my performance for the better part of a week. Last week, they called and invited me back for a second round of humiliation. The original goal was to score 100 in 5 questions, but they decided to give me an extra question to make it easier. How could I refuse? Without further ado, here were the questions:
Name something or someone associated with Princess Diana.
How many times a day do you lock or unlock something?
What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Name a fictional detective.
Name a sport that isn’t played with a ball.
Other than Richard Karn, name a game show host.
My answers, scores, and comments, where relevant.
- Name something or someone associated with Princess Diana.
My Answer: Paradise Island
My Score: 0
Number One answer: Prince Charles
Commentary: Sigh. 100 people surveyed, and nobody but I associated Princess Diana primarily with Wonder Woman? This question was tailor made to trip up comic fans. The DJ’s hadn’t considered that anyone would think the question referred to any person other than the one associated with Prince Charles.
- How many times a day do you lock or unlock something?
Number One answer:10
Commentary: Who are these people? I hit ten before 8:00 in the morning.
Front door. Garage door. Car door (at home). Car (at work). Front gate. Classroom. That’s 12 right there, and it’s still 7:30.
- What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
My Answer: Turn off the alarm.
Number One answer: Drink coffee.
Commentary:Where did they find 97 people who wake up with no alarm? Are they freaks, or mutants, or Vulcans or something? And damn, how can drinking coffee even come close to being first? Don’t you have to get out of bed and make a pot of coffee–two steps–before you can drink it?
- Name a fictional detective.
My Answer: Batman.
Number One answer: Sherlock Holmes
Commentary: Another question designed to make comic fans look foolish. And come on people who said Batman, where were you on question one?
- Name a sport that isn’t played with a ball.
My Answer: Hockey.
My Score: 11
Number One answer: Auto racing
Commentary: I thought for sure I nailed this one. My first thought was swimming, but one dosen’t “play” swimming. Hockey is the only major sport I know of that is played without a ball. Auto racing would never have occurred to me, as it isn’t something one plays. I realize that I’m overanalyzing the wording of the question, but this was my thinking when it was asked.
- Other than Richard Karn, name a talk show host.
My Answer: Jeff Probst
My Score: 3
Number One answer: Bob Barker
Commentary: While I understand Bob Barker being number one, I cannot fathom how the host of the most popular game show on primetime tv doesn’t get more than three votes. The DJ’s, one of whom is a big Survivor fan, said they don’t think of Survivor as a game show, but as a reality show. I said that those two things aren’t mutually exclusive, then had to explain what that meant.
My total score: 21. The bit about thinking of Princess Diana as Wonder Woman first has been a great source of amusement for the DJ’s, caused more than a few callers to question my intelligence, and deeply offended one woman.