As most people have already said, I don’t think you’re an alcoholic. I think, like all of us, you have demons in your life that you are trying to slay. Alcohol is a depressant and, in your case, it appears to give your demons an opening.
You typically drink little but occasionally go overboard. Is there some mechanism triggering these events? Bad boss? Difficulties with the wife or kids? Financial problems?
I don’t think you need a shrink or AA. I think you simply need some introspection. And serious support from those closest to you. Talk about it with someone you love and trust. Your wife. Your brother or sister. This is where you need to go overboard. Let it all out. The worst thing you can do keep it to yourself.
You can’t change what you did. Forgive yourself. And resolve not to do it again.
There has only been one perfect life—and we all know how *that *turned out. You’re imperfect. Accept that you’re going to screw up occasionalily. Just don’t screw up too badly. You can swerve some, just keep it between the ditches.
AA isn’t treatment, so it’s impossible to determine whether it “works” or not using data collected with that kind of methodology. (Most of it self-reported, by people who are by nature liars and by definition anonymous? Come on.)
AA is a spiritual program, so to say it “doesn’t work” makes about as much sense as saying “Lutherism doesn’t work.”
If AA works for one person, (namely Twikster), then AA works. (Of course, by its very design, AA requires more than one person.)
To see such an effort to research AA to such a ridiculous degree, gives pause to wonder if the lady doth protest too much.
Given the underlying aggression issues, I’d also suggest, first, going to your doctor and getting a complete physical, and then getting a referral to a therapist. From what you said, it seems like your problem is less about alcohol, and more about some serious anger or other emotional garbage lying just under the surface. When you’re in control, it stays bottled up, but when you’re not… boom.
Not drinking will certainly help with the symptoms, so to that extent that’s an excellent first step, but I think addressing the underlying cause will ultimately be a more long-term solution. If emotional pressure is building up like that, it’s better to find healthy ways to release it a little at a time, in a timely fashion, rather than letting it build up to a giant once-a-year blowup. If you never learn to do that, I imagine it’s quite possible you’ll find some other means than alcohol to blow. It might mean you snap every year and a half instead of every year, but that’s not much help if snapping involves waving loaded weapons around.
If you were allergic to a certain food and it could possibly kill you, wouldn’t you be able to stop eating that food?
If you drink again, it is VERY possible that you will accidentally shoot someone or kill someone in your car.
AA saved my ass 36 years ago so I must be in that lucky 2-5 %.
What are the odds that with such a small percentage at least two of us are on the SDMB posting on this very thread.
Dangle, it doesn’t matter whether you are really an alcoholic or not. You can’t handle alcohol so don’t drink alcohol. It is that simple. And if you cannot do this on your own, get some kind of help or you could possibly end up dead or in prison.
It doesn’t have to be AA, although I have met many great people there. (and a few assholes too)
When I first got sober, I was reluctant to tell anyone for fear of ridicule but once I did, everyone I told said they had a friend or family member who should stop
drinking and not one gave me any shit about it.
I’m not qualified to say if you’re alcoholic or something else, however, what I got from your OP is very simple: when you drink you have problems. So… you’re a problem drinker.
Stop drinking. First and foremost, if the problems show up when you drink then stop drinking. Period. Full stop.
There are several alternatives out there to support you. I’ll let those who have had this or similar problems discuss them.
I don’t know about the alcoholic label, either. I stopped drinking years ago because I got wicked hangovers from a ridiculously small amount of alcohol. You get drunk and stupid about once a year from alcohol. It seems to me that the answer to your problem is the same as mine - stop drinking.
Then, if you have blow-ups, you’ll know that you need some other kind of help, and it isn’t alcohol-related.
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the program, but in the people availing themselves of it. If you fail at remaining sober, it’s YOUR failure, not the program’s failure. Alcoholics and drug addicts have a horribly high rate of recidivism, and most blame everyone but themselves. My son is having success because he really wants and needs to succeed. He wants to keep his family, his job and his house and can only do that sober. His wife goes to AA for the community support and feels it has helped her immensely in understanding what motivates an addict. The same goes for my brother. My father, on the other hand, drowned in his own blood from a hemmoraged artery in his throat at age 53. He just didn’t give a shit about himself or anybody else. Quoting statistics is just bullshit.
Perhaps, but AA addiction doesn’t cause liver disease or traffic accidents. Arguably, even though an addiction, it’s much healthy for both the addict and those around him.
You’re probably right, but I’d argue that replacing a very harmful addiction with an, at worst, moderately harmful addiction is a net benefit. I certainly wouldn’t dispute that programs like AA work for some people—but because AA has such a dismal recidivism rate (specifically in relation to other methods), I also think there are, for the majority of alcoholics, far better methods in which to manage alcoholism. It’s just too demanding and too social a solution for a lot of people.
Recidivism to any sort of addiction is going to be high, due to the nature of the beast. IMO, AA shouldn’t be the reflexive, automatic choice for all alcoholics (ETA: like e.g. Ibanez’s upthread suggestion) —treatment should depend on personality, and the general treatment for 85% of people (who want to stay sober—no treatment will work if the person doesn’t want it to) should be a system of negative reinforcement using drugs like disulfiram or naltrexone, administered under the supervision of a psychiatrist and a psychologist. That kind of stuff’s been proved to be effective since Skinner’s days, and I think it’d keep a lot of people away from AA who aren’t suited for that type of treatment.
Yeah, who needs things like facts when we can just close our eyes and pretend it works. Fact is that if you’re really an alcoholic then check yourself into a rehab center or something. AA isn’t going to effect your chances.
In an effort to lighten things up, I present my favorite alcoholic joke:
Q: What’s the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk?
A: A drunk doesn’t have to go to all them goddamn meetings.
mmm
