Speaking of drinking and packing, I read somewhere that Phil Spector had stopped drinking for 4 years. And one night the bartender got the drink order from his table and noticed that he ordered a drink too so he went over and discreetly asked him if it was correct and Spector said yes, it’s ok. He was off and running again.The rest is history.
So instead of debating if you are or aren’t a real alcoholic or if AA does or doesn’t work or if it is or isn’t a real disease…who cares? ANYTHING can happen when you are drunk.
I actually walked (staggered) into some people’s unlocked home in the middle of the night in rural Washington State to ask for directions to the lake my passed out friend and I were trying to gt to to go camping.
Luckily, I picked a house with some nice people who didn’t blow my head off. I can still see the poor woman sitting at her kitchen table with her head in her hands after I scared her to death. Ah…those fun times!
For years I told myself I wasn’t an alcoholic because (a) I only drank wine, and (b) I could stop any time I wanted too. Alas, whenever I drank wine, I dranjk to massive excess. I am very lucky to be alive with all the alcohol poisoning I endured.
The only way to stop drinking is to stop drinking. I still have to remind yself on occasion that if I drink, I will get drunk and then I’ll have to get sober. And I do not want to have to go through that again.
A.A. began using the term disease in 1973. There have been debates about this (heck, there are people on this board who argue that alcoholism is not a disease) for a long time. In A.A. it is accepted as a disease and has been for a long time.
In every meeting I go to, it is mentioned that Alcoholism is a disease.
As the niece of a person who remained sober for the last 28 years of his life by attending AA every day, let me tell you that we don’t care if AA attendance is an addiction or not. We’d rather our loved ones not kill themselves in drunk driving accidents or accidents involving gunfire while intoxicated, and if that, for them, requires that they replace their alcohol addiction with an addiction to meetings in which people sit around and talk about staying sober, we’re fucking fine with that.
Addictive personalities are going to have some addiction, and AA is less damaging than alcohol.
When I find myself in a bad spot now, I crave tea with sacchrine in it and long walks. I recently broke my wrist, and the doctor told me that unless I was on a medical diet, not to worry about what I ate or how much I exercised. He later asked me how I lost twele pounds while in a cast!
MY mother was an alcoholic so I’m pretty well aware of what physical addiction to alcohol is all about. Having said this I don’t keep drinking alcohol in the house. I have several bottles of good scotch whiskey I got as a gift from a client a few years ago, but I don’t drink scotch so it just sits until I re-gift it someday.
I don’t need, want or even particularly desire alcohol in the course of day to day living. However, I have/had a strong tendency to over consume and get smashed at social occasions if the alcohol is open bar hard liquor. I’ll drink gin and tonics like soda pop, and within an hour or two I am trashed. This was a once or twice a year scenario.
The only thing that saved me is that 1: I am not an angry drunk like my mother was (and apparently you are). I just get very sleepy and 2: I will usually chill until I burn off enough alcohol to be rational before driving.
The oddest thing is that I have never blacked out and can remember with great clarity exactly what I said, and what was said to me while I was smashed. It can be a real embarrassment.
I’m old enough now that I moderate my drinking so this does not happen. The point about this little personal vignette is that what you are doing is not particularly strange or odd in terms of the human condition. What I did (and what you are doing) is dangerous and stupid but it’s fairly common. You don’t need to be an alcoholic to have a serious problem with alcohol.
The good part is (if your OP was accurate) is that you are dealing more with a situational and behavioral issue, not a hard core physical addiction you have no control over. You can decide, like I did, that sipping light beer is the only way you are going to get through an open alcohol scenario unscathed. Others will want you to drink harder stuff. It’s only human nature. This is a personal decision.
The charges you will face for DWI and your family’s reaction to endangering them will put a pretty big dent in your life for some time to come. In your scenario you need to give up alcohol entirely for a few years to gain their trust back and make sure you can trust yourself. There’s no reason you can’t drink again in moderation, but can’t do it unless you are sure you can stick to the light stuff and stay in control. Otherwise just abstain.
If you will read the disease concept of alcoholism part of your reference you will notice that it states that AA has no official position on alcoholism as a disease. The Big Book references alcoholism as an allergy.
You are correct that many members consider it to be a disease and the disease concept of alcoholism is taught in the majority of treatment centers.
For accuracy I defend my statement that you will not see this asserted in official AA literature. And as other posters mention the issue is really a distraction from the focus of the OP.
So, in 1973 an A.A. conference approved the above quote.
Linkyfrom the A.A. website. Note the use of the word disease. Is A.A. For You is official literature. There are other sources but I am at work and don’t have my book handy.
This is relevant to the O.P as the O.P is asking about alcoholism. Mis-information about A.A. is not going to help.
A.A. helped save my life. It has helped a lot of people I know.
For DangleYourModifier, if you have any questions about A.A., or just want to talk about anything feel free to P.M. me.
And, to be clear, the reason you should not have done so is that it is against the rules. And whether or not you were speaking as a moderator, you didn’t magically forget those rules, did you? Since one of the forums you moderate is you know, right here, I would certainly hope not.
It’s not a question of what is good enough for me. It’s a question of whether a moderator has to abide by the same rules regular posters do. If I had called him an asshole I would have been told that it is a violation and ordered not to do it again. Why shouldn’t the same be true for her? Why should she be allowed to weasel out by claiming to be a poster and not a moderator, when clearly a poster would have been treated differently?
Mods aren’t robots. Everyone has hot buttons, and when someone claims that something you are sure saved your life and your soul from destruction, is just a pile of mendacious bullshit a person is going to react emotionally. That you seem determined to make a big kabuki dance production out of this reaction, and her sincere apology afterwards is despicable.
Nevertheless, a regular poster is not afforded the “emotional” defense.
Not only are you deluded about my intentions, but your hyberbolic rhetoric strains credibility. Bear in mind, if you want me to stop talking, all you have to do is stop falsely accusing me.
And just to get back to the OP’s questions:
I don’t believe in "god’ and I don’t like religion. But the 12 step program kept me sober. And the thing is, if it keeps you sober for one day, then it worked. It doesn’t really matter a whole lot who you go to for help or why you react as you do. Just get some help and try not to go off at anyone today. (And do get rid of that gun.)
On a similar note, my own sobriety program, which consists of wearing a gorilla costume and swinging a dead cat around your head five times a day while abstaining from alcohol, is also 100% effective if you stick to it.
Any program designed to change behavior is not going to work if it is not followed. If you start a diet and do not follow it, chances are you aren’t going to lose weight. Is that the fault of the diet or the person? If you take a class, but never go and do not read the materials and then fail the test, is that the teachers fault or the students?
Can you name for me one program, that if it is not followed, gives the desired results?
The issue with A.A. is whether or not following the program helps. From what I have seen personally it does*.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about A.A. and one of the things that the program really gets right is the way it deals with the issues of the past and how to deal with problems in the present. The idea of personal responsibility that is the basis of A.A. and the steps is, IMHO, extrememly important. A.A. suggests a method for cleaning up the problems that drinking has caused. A.A. also suggests a method for dealing with new problems as they arise. From what I can tell, for a whole lot of people, the inability to deal with lifes problems is a huge part of why they drink. I know that was a large part of my problem. Thankfully, due to A.A., I am much better at dealing with the problems life tosses my way. Also, in A.A. the problems created by drinking are the drinkers responsiblity. Cleaning up those problems is the drinkers responsibility. Holding people accountable for the issues they created, once again IMHO, is really important. It not only teaches them to own their actions, it also builds self respect in that the drinker learns that they can fix the problems they created. Instead of running to a bottle, you can fix things.
Of course, everyone is different. It works for some people. Some people cannot, for whatever reason, follow the program. If they find a different way to stay clean and sober, more power to them. However, if they keep drinking then bad things are going to happen.
slee
*People point to studies about A.A. as though they are proof A.A. doesn’t work. I have read a couple of them. In most of them I would be counted as a failure because I don’t go to A.A. all the time. I go to meetings sporadically. Yet I use the program every day. I have been clean and sober for 6.5 years.
Actually, yes, they may well be – if a generally well-behaved, civil poster loses his or her temper and says something inappropriate, then comes back into the thread and apologizes before a mod has acted, most mods will usually let it go without further comment. It is my understanding that that’s what happened in this case: I lost my cool, said something I shouldn’t’ve, calmed down, returned to the thread and apologized.