I tried Flashbang hot sauce. 5 Million SHU. Meh

Cafe Society
1

Why did I try a ‘sauce’ with 5 million Scoville Heat units? Because I’m stupid. But I was also prepared.

I did it at a shop in the French Quarter in New Orleans, where they had many other varied hot sauces, seasonings, and flavorings to try. I’d enjoyed a wide variety of their products earlier in the day, but none of them had impressed me with pure heat power, though I did buy some stuff based on excellent flavor.

And I did enjoy their hot cream cheese mixes, too. But I found them an exercise in ‘Ice and Fire’ due to the hot elements being presented in the same mouthful with casein, the same protein which dissolves capsaicin (the essential ‘hot’ molecule of most hot sauces).

So I figured ‘why not try the super hot? I can put the fire out right away with casein!’

Of course, I consulted with no one about my plan. Why listen to sense? Ignoring their waivers, I dipped a chip into the concentrated pepper extract, getting perhaps 1/8 to 1/4 drop of it on the bit of crisped corn. And ate it.

As expected, no real sensation for nearly 15 seconds, followed by extreme heat, but only on the left side of tongue and mouth. No sweats, no tears, no endorphin rush, just the taste of burning (thanks, Ralphie) restricted nicely to one small area.

On a pain scale, it was maybe a 6. On a capsaicin heat scale, it went to 11, though. Intense, constant, purifying. Increasing moment by moment, removing all extraneous sensations from my mind. The moment was timeless, just like a fine watch. An experience in immanence.

After enjoying this for about 2 minutes, I hit the cream cheese. And within 2 more minutes I could begin to speak and react normally again. None were the wiser regarding my field trip. Though I did advise the shop manager that I found no logical reason for anyone to EVER consume heat of this level. She agreed and gave me a survivor’s badge. And said I should see what happened whenever a drunk college guy came in and chugged the whole sample (1-2 CCs or more) rather than tasting a miniscule portion as I did. Lotsa laffs apparently.

And within 20 minutes the burn was completely gone. Meh. With that reputation, it should last at least half a day. But I’m glad it didn’t.

2

Add it to your Dr. Christian Szell tools…

3

Is it safe?

4

You should be. I once again a Trinidad scorpion pepper on an empty stomach and I felt the heat in my gut for almost two hours. It was a half hour of peppery burn in my mouth, but not unmanageable. Then a half hour of quiet. Then stomach cramps, a feel of fire ants in my guts, vomiting, and general misery for an hour to an hour and a half. I’ve never visited in the ER, but I was seriously considering it, if it were not for the fact that I just couldn’t get out of bed.

5

Oh, I wouldn’t allow that concentration into my stomach! :eek:

6

It could be that the “flash” is the feeling in your mouth, and the “bang” is the feeling of your anus tomorrow…

7

Anus Thermopylae, is that you?

8

Capsaicin: nature’s way of saying “Don’t eat me, fool.”

Testosterone: nature’s way of saying “You’re not going to let nature push you around like that, are you?”

9

Why bother with Scoville Heat units? Just tip your waiter handsomely to blast the inside of your mouth with a blowtorch every time you take a bite of something slathered in their hot sauce.

10

There’s really a quite profound difference between thermal injuries and chemical injuries. Capsaicin can do damage, but nothing like 3rd and 4th degree burns. I once treated a guy who shoved a branding iron in his mouth as a ribald jest; he greatly rues the day and wishes he could have suckled on a ghost pepper instead of red hot steel. Now he can do neither, gaining nutrition via a G-tube implanted inside his stomach. :frowning:

11

Well…thanks for stepping all over my joke, Qadgop! :mad:

12

Holy crap.
That is one stupid decision.
I hope he was at least really drunk when he did it.

13

I once took a bite of “some pepper my wife grew in her garden”, brought in by a cow-orker.

It is, to date, the only pepper that made me hallucinate!* I was seeing flashes on the edge of my vision and glowing trails for about 30 minutes, along with 4 hours of gut burning.

  • I have not yet tried the merciless insanity peppers of Quetzlzacatanengo
14

And you’ve had gotten away with it, if not for that meddling patient with the branding iron! :smiley:

15

While I didn’t have those exact words in mind, I was thinking the same thing.

Several years ago, I planted a habanero pepper bush, and I assumed I could pick them with bare hands because I was pulling on the stems. I found out otherwise a little later when I rubbed my eye.

:eek:

I used a couple of them myself, and gave the rest to the Salvation Army food pantry - clearly labeled, of course.