I work at a hospital. Today I offered to serve on the hospital death panel when it is formed. My only stipulation is that I want a rubber stamp that says “DEATH” – self-inking so I can use it faster.
My boss seemed confused, so perhaps the panels will be formed at the city or county level and not at individual hospitals. Which I think is a mistake – local panels can deal death much more efficiently, especially with the candidates in the same building.
So, you want to decide who lives and who dies?
I’d hold out for a scythe if I were you.
Do the candidates have to actually be sick before they go before the death panel? Because I’ve got this list I’ve been working on…
I’m not dead. I’m getting better. I don’t want to go on the cart!
I don’t see how this is funny. The death panels are a serious issue.
Also, a black cloak for a uniform
Why I picture the Death Panels as an olympic judge’s table?; some fellow is pushed in front of the table and the panelists rise cards with a score, whoever gets more than 5.0 is off to the Human Reprocessing plant.
See if you can get Kate Beckinsale with her latex and corset outfit to be on the panel.
I’m more of hands-on type of guy so I’m holding out for the Death Squad.
Panel be damned; any furniture will do…
(what…?)
The tricky part is learning to speak in SMALL CAPS.
I’m scrambling for some context here.
Actually, let’s make it an American Idol-type reality show! With deathmatches!
Various conspiracy-minded people have been claiming that a provision in Pres. Obama’s suggested health care reforms - one that directs doctors to discuss end-of-life concerns (‘living will’ creation, questions about hospice care, etc.) with older/ill patients - really means that terminally ill or elderly patients will be sent before “death panels” and have their lives ended early so doctors and the government don’t have to bother with the sick folks, thus saving money.
I think of it more like Ancient Roman gladiator battles where Caesar would give a thumbs up or thumbs down to decide if the loser lives or dies. So in that case everyone on the panel should be wearing togas and be fed grapes by scantily clad nubile slaves. It would be much more classy … or classic.
I like the OP self inking stamp. You could do their foreheads as well as the requisite documents.
By they way, the new bill does make a change in end of life consultations by those who are not presently in grave medical condition. (pun intended)
By the rules of medicare, and medicaid as they now stand, such a medical consultation is not covered, and cannot be billed. The new standard says if you want one, you can have the bill reimbursed, or paid. The bill does not require anyone to make plans for their deaths. It simply allows such medical consultations to be available under insurance.
What vile and hideous intent.
Tris
Of course, it’s cheaper wholesale…
We only have to be asked.
“And so, Sir, what would you prefer- the Edward G. Robinson sleep-chamber from Soylent Green or Carousel from Logan’s Run?”
May I add that somewhere, there is a nursing home somewhere with a cat named Oscar who may prove useful to you.
That stamp would be no fun. It’s also confusing; it could be construed to mean that the patient has already suffered death, or that the condition is terminal even if treated.
Your stamp should say “KILL IMMEDIATELY”