:smack: 
I don’t know how many women don’t know, either, but it’s a lot.
ETA: My time on Yahoo Answers makes my head hurt, and my awareness of the ignorance in the world grow.
You make valid points, WhyNot about the Vagina Monologues. The pet-names (!) for penises are legion, too, of course and I know many men wouldn’t know their scrotum from their glans if they couldn’t look at it and see the difference.
Perhaps, rather than “men’s” and “women’s” stores, we should think in terms of “open” and “hidden” stores. Perhaps “liberated” and “shameful”.
Men’s and Women’s may be reading too much intent into the different designs.
We salute you, Mr. Porn Store Booth Cleaner-Upper!
- Mr. Porn Store Booth Cleaner-Uuuupper!*
You have a job, that all other men both mock, and are grateful for.
You work in a Porn Store, surrounded by the forbidden, the desireable, and the just plain gross.
I wouldn’t touch that if I were yooooouuuu
With your mop, and your bucket of lukewarm water, you clean out the dingy, not-quite private enough places we go to take care of business. And you don’t even pretend that there’s disinfectant in that grey, cloudy water you’re using.
Looks clean enough to meeeee
And the next time we’re watching a 3 minute video loop of a tired looking woman being railed by a man that’s barely erect, let alone enjoying what’s happening, we’ll take a moment to think of you. Then we’ll go back to beating our dicks like they owed us money.
Really, you don’t have to think of me during tha-a-at…
So when you’re off work, have a cold Bud Light. And hand me one while you’re at it.
Wait… did you wash your hands after work? Never mind, I’m good. Thanks anyway.
Mr. Porn Store Booth Cleaner-Upper!!
Or have it as part of a Mr. Clean commercial. I mean, would you really be surprised to find Mr. Clean back in the booth area?
To clarify, the booths were a common pick up area for gays.
Heh. You’re one of my idols. Right up there with Jane Austen, Madame Curie, Betty Dodson, and those women who invented the DivaCup. (OK, I’ll go away now, before I become any scarier.)
Yes, and work toward more of the former for everyone.
**Tristan, ** hahaha!
Yes! Let’s do that. I like that almost as much as I like my Hitachi Magic Wand!
Google is your friend. 
http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/tpcs.html
Since I think the last post is definitely an amazing thread ender, I thought I’d toss in something a little less intimidating to follow.
I’m pretty old school, and probably wouldn’t go in to either store alone. I even find those MLM private party things pretty gross. I for one, am grateful for the internets ability to market something we may not be comfortable purchasing, even for curiosities sake, into something we can still have. On the other hand, it’s probably be nice to visit if my husband was a little more flexible.
Then again, there is always Bed, Bath & Beyond for our more adventurous folk…
I’m trying very hard not to laugh very, very loudly while I’m sitting here in Starbuck’s reading this. Very nicely done Tristan. You captured the best of those commercials - the little musical interludes.
Thanks, Tristan. Made me laugh.
I always assumed the gloomy, scuzzy porn shops were a product of the times a few years back. Definitely a second-class shop compared to a Borders or a Taco Bell, and they knew it and didn’t care. If you wanted that kind of merchandise, where else could you go?
But the Internet changed all that, so am I surprised to hear that such shops still exist. Since I no longer live in the Porn Capital Of The World, LA’s San Fernando Valley, I can’t easily check it out anymore.
As far as the “women’s”-style shops, I assume they are bold, nicely built and spread out all over town because the entrepreneurs are trying to attract a better crowd that wouldn’t want to be seen in a back alley; things indeed have changed, and they are responding to the times by strutting their stuff, as it were.
This thread brings back so many memories for me. I worked for a local adult bookstore for several years, back in the 90’s. Yes, there is porn in Amish country here. Actually, there are two adult stores in our downtown area, both of them a mix of the female and male owned and run scenarios mentioned here, and both of them located very close to the city police station. They have been here for 20-30 years too.
My experiences were both positive and negative. When I first started there, I worked for a young woman who was in my high school graduating class. I was very much in need of a job, and the hours worked well with my own personal schedule. The pay wasn’t the greatest, but I really needed the job. Granted the items we sold were a bit unusual, but it was really just a retail job, on that end. It was easy and fun. The woman that I worked for
The viewing booths, on the other hand, were the bane of my existence. I had to ride herd over a bunch of cruising guys, who expected to be allowed to behave as badly as they wanted to behave. My original boss backed me up in keeping things as above board as possible. As long as doors were closed, and money was being spent, things went well. I never had a problem throwing out those people who refused to behave.
Of course, there were the more unusual aspects too. I did my very best to make certain that every customer felt comfortable there. I was a small fountain of information when it came to sex toys and novelties. Some of my funniest customers were small groups of women who would come in to “check things out” with their girlfriends. It usually involved purchases for bachelor parties, bridal showers, etc. They were alot of fun.
We would get all sorts of customers in there, couples and singles. Heck I even had a couple of local celebrities who were “semi-regulars”. I worked the second shift, and every once in awhile I would get a late night call, asking if we were open, and one of the local late new anchors would come in, still wearing the make-up from that night’s broadcast.
I never really had a problem with the cleaning. I would mop and clean the booth area regularly. It was simply part of the job.
Of course, as with most jobs, things changed when my boss was promoted and they brought in a new manager. He was a scuzz who snorted drugs and used the place to allow his dealer and the dealer’s female friends to work from there. The man never washed, and stank to high hell. His attitude was a 180 reversal of my former boss. I was reprimanded several times, simply for doing my job.
Things came to a head when he started to accuse me of doing drugs on the job. I do believe that the owners may have “found a few things” and I was the one who was blamed. I got the heck out of dodge, the owners fired the scuzzy manager, and promoted a guy who should never have been working there for them.
I have stopped back there occasionally, since I left. It has been several years, but the last time, I was quite impressed with what I saw. They had remodeled the place, the sales area was clean and well stocked, and the viewing booths were clean and well lit too. When I peeked back there, I saw several of the same regulars there, milling around.
Life goes on. 
I worked in an “adult novelty” store when I lived in TX. It was a blast! Granted, we didn’t have wank-booths or anything so it was a much cleaner environment and I loved every minute of it. I made great money too since we were paid a base hourly wage + commission. I am loud and fun and easy to talk to so I made hundreds of dollars a month beyond my standard wages. My favorite product that we sold is the Great American Challenge (http: // www. lovehoney. co. uk/product.cfm?p=4761 is a picture of it next to a coke can NSFW!) because it is the most enormous sex toy I have ever seen and it was very useful with the timid people who would come into the store and be hesitant to look at or touch anything.
Timid Girl: “Do you have any, you know, stuff…for…umm…masturbating?”
pbbth: “Sure! Check out the Great American Challenge!”
Timid Girl: :eek:
pbbth: “That doesn’t work for you huh? Well, how about something more along these lines?” (shows normal sized sex toys)
Timid Girl: “Oh, okay. Hehe. Sure. What does this one do exactly?” (points to normal sized sex toy)
Worked every time.
I was following bad links I guess; they led to one of those sites that I can’t recall the name for with a bunch of links to look like a real web site but it’s not.
Glad for the updated link!
I briefly worked at a Gay electronics store that sold televisions, DVD’s and such…one part of the store sold and rented porn videos/DVD’s. We had lots of the porn directors and actors as customers (hey, it was in LA).
One thing I noted while working there is that there are several types of people who rent porn - some are lonely, maybe their lover died - others were hot young types who wanted to have something to watch with their tricks - others were closet cases who had their secret pleasures…it was always interesting to watch them go into that part of the store and come back out to check out/buy the films.
More often than not, they would get into discussions with the guy at the counter about which films were good, and which (pardon the pun) sucked. People who rent a lot of porn start to get very selective at some point and don’t just rent anything - they know which distributors, directors and “actors” are good, and which are not.
I also had a friend who worked at Pleasure Chest - a full service porn shop with everything from dildos to leather goods and chains to greeting cards and funny gifts for the office manager at your local business. He said it was fun to watch the first timers…couples who were red in the face for about five minutes, but then walked out with $300 worth of goodies…or young guys who had hard-on’s the entire time they walked through the store, pretending to be uninterested, or young women in groups laughing hysterically while buying gifts for the bachelorette party. He had lots of “regulars” who would buy clothing and “accessories” all the time…and he had strippers (male and female) who bought lots of clothing there. He had some pretty amazing stories about famous people buying “odd” items…
There’s a porn store that I would love to work for. I’ve wanted to work there for about 8 years actually. It’s right on a town line and both towns try to pretend it is in the other town. It’s a simple little shop with lots of movies, 1 wall of toys and a small amount of clothes. It’s so quiet in there - it’s like a library. All the patrons whisper and there’s rarely any giggling (what little there is usually comes from me actually). The people who work there usually spend their shift reading and organizing. Sounds like the ideal job for me. There are two middle aged men, one elderly woman and one young woman who work there. My ex once asked the young woman if she gets hit on at work and she said that most of the male customers seem to embarrassed to even look her in the eye.
Unfortunately, they are never hiring. Apparently it’s a good place to work because no one ever quits.
It doesn’t happen much these days, but when an adult shop is busted for obscenity, the clerk is sometimes among those arrested and charged.
The Great American Challenge reminded me of a story.
A guy hired on as a first-shift clerk in a sex shop. On his first day, a shy woman came in and asked to see the array of dildos. He showed her the whole range, progressively larger and more complex. Finally, she asked to see the big plaid one on the top shelf. She walked away happy.
Later, the owner came in and asked how it was going. “Pretty good, I guess. I sold my thermos for ninety dollars!”
I know some people I have met with chose to work as a porn-store clerk because it did not discriminate against people with visible tattoos, piercings or unusual hair color.