My wife and I are a few years away from retirement, and we’ve decided that we have the following needs, in a potential retirement area:
-short, mild winters (preferably no persistent snow)
cheap housing
-no nearby golf courses ( I don’t play, nor do I plan to)
-low cost of living
-within 50 miles of an airport (preferably international)
-(the most important)…we want a place that is boring…where time slows to a glacial pace. I want a summer afternoon to last for years…that means (in turn):
-the place must be fairly unpopular
-no major tourist attractions
-no music festivals, gathering, etc.
Please give us some idea of places we might like!
Unless you consider looking outside of the US, you have a fundamental problem:
For most places, the lack of short, mild winters heavily contributes to the REASON the locale has
cheap housing
-no nearby golf courses
-low cost of living
-the place must be fairly unpopular
-no major tourist attractions
-no music festivals, gathering, etc.
There might be places near Seattle of Portland that would fit the bill. You might be able to find low house prices if you look outside typical commuting range but inside your 50-mile airport limit; for Seattle that could put you south of Tacoma or somewhere on the Kitsap Peninsula, for example.
This is actually really simple. Take a map of all the major cities from Kansas City in the west to Columbus in the east, and southward t0 Memphis and Atlanta. That puts you south of I-70, which is pretty much the southern edge of the winter-long snows.
Draw circles with a 50-mile radius around each city. Eliminate all towns along Interstate highways (too much traffic) or with college/university campuses (too many kids.)
And, just randomly using my system, welcome to Versailles, IN, population 2,113. You’re welcome.
You could come to south Texas, where winter only comes once or twice a decade when it wants a holiday and doesn’t want to do much work besides putting a bit of chill in the air, and where I can guarantee you will not find one iota of excitement. Seriously, you may not be prepared for this level of dull. You may think you are until you have to go and have a lie down after a trip to the local store for bread and eggs because all the excitement’s giving you heart palpitations while the Mrs. is running an illicit bridge game in the back every thursday. Think you can hack it mister? * Do you?*
At “boring place”, my mind jumped to Fresno and I can’t get it off that idea. It fits well with your other criteria except maybe the international airport. It is dull though, to the point that you’ll no longer fear death. Enjoy!
I recommend Columbia, SC. Nice place to live, pleasant residential neighborhoods, nothing much to attract tourists, has an airport. Might get an inch of snow some winters; other years, nothing.
The presence of the state capital and the University of South Carolina might make it a bit too lively for you, though. Although IMHO the only disadvantage is that July and August get too hot for me, and I’m a summer-loving guy for the most part.
Alternatively, you could check out the Greenville-Spartanburg area of SC. It’s upstate, so it’s a little cooler, but you’re still going to go years between significant snowstorms. I’ve never lived there myself, but I don’t get the impression that they’re hotbeds of liveliness compared to Columbia. I don’t think housing prices are very high there, either.
Much of Pasco County, Florida might appeal to you. I grew up to the south, in Pinellas County, which is plenty boring. Pasco County is in a whole different league of boring. I mean, the most exciting thing in the entire county might just be the Golden Corral on U.S. 19 kind of boring. And it never, ever snows there. Easy access to Tampa (itself a rather boring city) and its airport. Most of the golf courses are well to the south. Housing is super cheap, all the touristy beaches are well to the south. It may just be the perfect place for someone who desires a kind of white bread retirement suburbia.
A bedroom community in Nevada. Tourists have zero interest in them, the weather is never exciting, the rent is pretty low and the neighbors are mostly retired or working folks. The sort who tend to be quiet.
[ul]
[li]Conveniently located near Fort Worth[/li][li]DFW International Airport for Int’l and Domestic (20 minute drive)[/li][li]Love Field for cheaper domestic flights (50-60 minute drive)[/li][li]Low cost of living. No state income tax.[/li][li]Reasonable housing costs. New, brick, 2-story 4-bedroom houses in Heather Ridge go for $150k[/li][li]New, brick 3 bedroom 1-story houses go for $110,000[/li][li]Plenty of less expensive neighborhoods, as well. [/li][li]New, fancy Aquatics Center, gym, and sports building, very reasonable fees (and discounts for seniors.)[/li][li]Great public library - eBooks, movies, music, on-site lectures, free classes and workshops. Very generous 15 books per person limit. [/li][li]Saginaw contains NO GOLF COURSES. No golf-related businesses of any kind. There is a frisbee-golf course in one of the public parks, however.[/li][li]No notable festivals. Nobody comes to Saginaw that doesn’t live here, for the most part. There’s not even a movie theater. (Though there’s one in the next town, 10 minutes away.)[/li][li]Extremely quiet, fairly liberal for a small Texas town - it’s no Austin, but it’s pretty progressive.[/li][li]Major employers: Burlington Northern Santa Fe, lots of other train-related industry. In fact, if you like trains, this is the place for you.[/li][li]Extremely mild winter. Maybe 1 snow per year, and it’s gone in a day or two.[/li][li]City water is inexpensive, tastes very much like bottled water, and is neither “hard” nor “soft”. Excellent water pressure, since the land is very flat and the water tower is perched on the town’s only hill. [/li][/ul] Saginaw, Texas.
