Assisted living homes are the 21st century Chuckle Huts.
I resent the implication that I’m as good as dead! 
You’d have better luck performing at cemeteries….
People are dying to get in there!
Thanks, I’m here all week.
Hey, I have a great deal for you.
I’m not cut out for the stage, but I’ve always dreamed of being a comedy writer. Had I not gone into medicine, I believe comedy writing is what I’d have pursued. My college English professor put the bug in me decades ago, in her creative writing class where she had us perform what we wrote in front of the class. I had her rolling in the aisles. That may have been due to food poisoning from the spoiled pot-luck dish I brought to class that day (you could say I put the bug in her), but that’s not important. She told me to switch majors and pursue comedy writing. I didn’t listen, but sometimes I regret it.
I’ve written a lot of funny speeches for different occasions over the years and people always enjoyed them. I also write humor pieces in my free time and get positive feedback. I’m good at making fun of everyday annoyances (like cats).
I agree with others who say you should write your own material, but even the best stand-ups use additional sources.
So, how about this: I’ll write you some material for free and you can try it out. If you like it, go ahead and use it, or trash it, or whatever—use it, abuse it, or lose it. If it makes people laugh at your show (s) and you want more, I’ll write you some more for free. If you start making big bucks, then you can hire me for more writing and pay me with hookers and blow cash.
If you’re interested, maybe you could post a video on YouTube or Tic Tok so I can see what kind of comedy style and personality you have.
Try the meatloaf.
Don’t forget to tip your server.
Perhaps the OP might benefit from Comedy Fantasy Camp. They can learn from, and perhaps even pick the brains of, such comedy legends as Adam Carolla and Jay Leno. It’s only $4,499.99!
Unfortunately, it’s currently sold out, but there’s a waiting list the OP can get on, in case of comedy camp cancellations, I guess.
Exapno_Mapcase
I was referring to a stand-up of one-liners in the Henny Youngman/Rodney Dangerfield style, the kind created by jokes from a writer, the stuff the OP was referring to at the time. Stories are a different kind of humor.
Sheesh. Shortly after posting my OP, I knew I should have clarified, but I’m still newish to SDMB so I held back.
Folks, I meant slow, funny as hell storytelling comedy, not the Leno, Letterman, Dangerfield, rat-a-tat-tat style of one-liner comedy, which I imagine is crazy-hard to write for and actually pull off. Yes, as RickJay makes painfully clear, story comedy needs to be funny. It needs a strong, expert set up and a punchline that makes it worth the wait. It needs to be fresh and smart and delivered in an appealing way.
Specifically, my envisioned storytelling angle would see me talking about the challenges of getting old, of feeling over the hill, of suddenly dating again as a widower (or as a pretend-widower 
), of accidentally double-dosing my Viagra, the demolition derby that is Sam’s Club on Saturday morning, the riff-raff I bump into at all-you-can-eat restaurants, the spooky people I’ve met on cruise ships, my still-classified “wet work” with Seal Team 6 in Pakistan and Iran, that sort of stuff. (Okay, the cruise ship part is a lie.) And threading in some patriotic themes that Boomers especially would identify with? I’ve seen it and seen crowds cheering. Lots of 60s/70s Boomers go to comedy acts and laugh like hell at good comics.
Standing in front of an audience and telling slow, funny-as-hell stories? Pfft. Doesn’t scare me. I welcome it. I’ve emceed a lot of big events and delivered a lot of filler material that did very well, so having lots of eyeballs glued on me and making folks laugh till they cry, yeah, gimme that gig. Stardom and big checks? Not important. It’s making people laugh that matters to me. Life is sometimes hard as hell. It can break your heart. My family is going through really really hard times right now, so being able to make other people happy to be alive is as good as it gets.
How hard is it?
This is all so incredibly bizarre I’d say we’re in the neighborhood already.
It’s so hard that people are starting to use the phrase “just like Ludovic’s life” instead of “that’s what SHE said!”
You are missing a lot of what needs to happen first. Where are the crowds coming from? Why are they going to come to see you? Crowds come for known comics. Club owners don’t let an unknown do an hour. This sounds like someone who says they are really hitting well in the batting cage but how do I get to play for the Yankees?
Young comics are finding new ways to get known. There is a whole generation of comics that are making their name on Tiktok and other social media. They tend to run into the problem of their fame outpacing their material. They might get booked to do an hour when they really only have 15 minutes. Others will make it long term. They are finding their own way in the current environment. Their audience is young.
You aren’t looking at the tiktok generation as your audience. Boomers aren’t watching tiktok. They are also not paying to see an unknown headline. There really is only one path to what you are talking about and that’s the old one. Going to open mics. Getting to know comics. Having an established comic eventually put you on as an opener for him. Putting together a good 5-10 minutes and getting past the gatekeeper at a big club. It usually means moving to a city like LA or New York where you can do many spots each week in multiple clubs. Those are the big comedy cities but there are a few others with a decent comedy scene. It’s not an easy path but you have to work hard to get the crowds.
It also means doing a lot of shitty gigs in front of small disinterested audiences.
You also mentioned prop comedy. What kind of prop comedy, and how do you intend to merge it with your stories?
Also, how do you intend to get the gigs in the first place?
BTW, I’ve never been on a cruise ship but your name indicates that you have, and if so, that may be a place to work on your material; perhaps they have amateur nights where you can perform your material for people other than family and friends.
I’ve heard comedians on podcasts talk about how doing a cruise ship gig can be tough-- if you bomb at a regular club, you can make a clean getaway afterward. Bomb on a cruise ship, and you’re trapped with your audience for the rest of the cruise, and have to hear them tell you how badly you suck, everywhere you go 
I think you have an extremely rosy view of stand up comedy that is not really reflected in reality. Being an emcee and delivering “filler material” to an audience which is not really inclined to be critical is far different from an audience who expects you to subject them to the just-so mix of transgressive ideas, commentary on familiar annoyances, and satirizing popular ideas and/or public figures. You seem to want the “eyeballs glued on me” and an audience who will “laugh till the cry” without doing the work to come up with the actual material to do so. Doing stand up in a small comedy forum means being subjected to a regular string of hecklers, cold rooms, and dead air until you find a set that works and how to deliver it. Comedy audiences—even those who will contentedly sit and watch whatever Kevin James or Tim Allen shit-com is flashing across their telvisor—are highly critical of stand up comedians who can’t deliver a diet of laughs on fifteen second intervals. Farming out the work of ‘punching up’ generic humor fodder isn’t going to give you any idea of how the material can be delivered to get audience response or the fortitude to face a cold room.
The words “comedy” and “prop” should never be placed adjacent to one another unless you are doing a vaudeville revival or are trying to ape the inexplicable career of Carrot Top. The last comedian to make prop work into a successful routine was Steve Martin back in 1977, and that is only because he’s the comedy equivalent of a four time Nobel laureate.
Stranger
Yes, but those are professional comedians. My idea is for the OP to perform during amateur night. I expect people to be kinder to amateurs.
A drunken audience, who you’re held captive at sea with, who’ve paid a lot of money to be entertained? Maybe you’re right, but I wouldn’t take that chance. That is the absolute last place I’d try open-mic comedy.
That’s the funniest joke in the whole thread!
You think that is new? Or funny?
This must be some use of the word ‘comedy’ of which I was previously unaware.
The phrase ‘lead balloon’ comes to mind.
Pee Wee Herman had some decent prop comedy routines in the 80s. I wasn’t a big Pee Wee standup fan, but I remember a few appearances on Letterman that were pretty funny. Though we’re generally talking my college years, so alcohol or other mind-altering substances may have contributed to that opinion. I will agree that ‘good’ or ‘successful’ prop comedy is an exceedingly rare beast.