I want to go back to school, but I'm terrified.

In My Humble Opinion
1

When I was in HS, I took all of the college prep. classes. But in my senior year, due to family problems, college wasn’t something I could do.

Life being what it is, I got married and had children who are now both in school full time.

I’ve been thinking about my future a lot lately. I have a lot of different skills, but nothing on paper, so it’s unlikely that I’d be able to get a good job anywhere. And I always wanted to be a high school history teacher. If it’s ever going to happen, now is the time for me to make it happen.

But, I’m scared to death. I wasn’t a very good student in high school, and I think I only passed because I wasn’t a troublemaker(it was a really shitty school). There is just so much I don’t know. Even some words associated with college are a mystery to me.

I’m also worried that I wouldn’t be able to get the work done. I’m a full time mom and because of my husband’s work hours, I have to take care of everything, all of the errands, housework,etc. Being mom is my most important job, so I couldn’t do anything that would harm that.

I’m worried about just getting to the classes. If my kids get sick, have a snow day, delayed opening, vacations or anything else, I would have to forget about getting to school that day. The closest college to me is in another state.

I don’t even know if a college would want me. About 5 years ago, I went down there to talk to them, and they didn’t seem too interested in me. They kept telling me that most of their focus was on recent HS grads who would be going full time.

If I went back to school, it would only be a very few classes. And I would probably be paying for it myself. If I ever got a degree, it would probably take 20 years.

Did anyone ever go back to school ? Could you give me any advice ?

Thanks.

2

Some schools have programs that are designed for people like you. I think finding one of them would be your first goal. You’ll meet peers with the same concerns and fears, have access to counselors and advisors who are sensitive to your needs, and so on. A college with a program like that WANTS you. Maybe the school you visited has a program like that now, five years later.

I think you’re brave and forward-thinking to want to go to college now. I really applaud that. I know it’s scary, but you know, your life experiences bring some important things into the classroom. For one thing, unlike high school, you might find that you are studying for yourself, not for the grades. And you’re less likely to define yourself by your academic performance because you’ve got a bigger worldview now, and you’ll always be more than just a student. You’re a mom, a wife, the person who runs the household, etc.

Is there a community college near you? That’s also an option.

3

IANA Back-to-schooler, but best of luck with this decision dragongirl - there’s any number of ways you might talk yourself out of going for it, but go for it! You may be pleasantly surprised what you are capable of doing if you are truly motivated to do it!

4

epeepunk did it. Slightly different situation, as he already had one Bachelor’s degree. But then he changed careers, and did evening school. With spouse and kid and other kid and life and work and commute.

Hard? Yep.

Also worth it.

You will need backup, for evenings and other homework time. If your husband can’t do that, due to his work, then you’ll need some other way to get it. Relatives, friends, babysitters, other mom-students. You will have to get even more organized - it is rather like having another child - one more thing to organize around, plan for, run errands for, fit in. But doable, with help. Especially if you can do classes and homework during the day.

You will need a lot of support from your spouse, even if not time. Understanding, commiseration, encouragement.

You will find that life has prepared you for class in ways you were never ready for highschool. Adult students usually outpace their younger peers, just because they know what it means, know what the value is, and really care about doing the work.

You may have to find a community college first. Easier to transfer in after having taken some courses at a smaller center that caters more to the adult learner. There are some very good ones.

One class at a CC is worth a try. Then you’ll know if NOW is the time, or if you’ll have to wait for later, when you have older kids.

Good luck.

5

I’m 36, married with 3 children, and I just finished a four year degree. It wasn’t what I’d call easy, but I’m very glad I did it.

If I have any advice to give, it would be to refer to Nike, and “Just do it.” I know how easy it is to think of reasons why you shouldn’t or couldn’t, but in reality, if you really want it, there’s likely to be some way that it’s possible for you.

Stop anticipating all the possible problems, and take it one step at a time. First, concentrate on getting accepted. That’s done? Good, now get it paid for. Got that? All right, now get to your first day of class…etc. as nessecary. After many, many small steps, you’ll look up one day and realize you’re done.

6

Try a few classes at a two-year school. If that goes well you can eventually transfer into a four-year to finish the degree, and you’ll presumably have some good grades to present to the bigger school. My first school (four-year, but small and local) had a LOT of older non-traditional type students. I found I got along much better with the folks my age (early to mid 20s, since I was there for four years) than the straight out of high school people who seemed to think this WAS still high school. They generally were much better students, too…

7

If you can be even a half-way decent full-time mom, you can get through college. I echo the advice above about finding a college that wants you. Check out extension or correspondence courses that lead to a degree. Some of them will let you do the course self-paced or even on-line.

I’m thinking about changing careers and have a lot of the same fears as you.

8

Both my wife and I went back - she for her masters, me to finish my bachelor’s (both still in progress). Single biggest thing we noticed is that we are FAR wiser, smarter (I don’t mean more intelligent), and driven than most of the young kids in school.

It’s the old “man, if I knew then what I know now…”

It is hard with a full-time job, but it also seems…easy.

9

Check out the PA State System of Higher Education. They offer distance programs and are a lot less competitive than Penn State.

And like a lot of the people in this thread, I’ve decided to go back to school, and am starting this fall. I can’t wait!

Robin

10

In my experience, older students tend to be the most capable and get the most out of their classes. Colleges now really value their older and re-entry students because they are so often an asset to class. There are so many resources out there for parents, too. Financial aid, family housing and many many services are out there to help. See if the college near you has a re-entry and older student office. Mine does.

Having a mother in college is one of the greatest things a kid can have. Nothing teaches a kid to read and study like always seeing her mom with her nose in a book or a test to study. When I was a very young child, my mother would drive me home from college with her and tell me everything she learned in her classes that day. A lot of it went over my pre-schooler head. But there is a lot of it that I still remember. She’d also have me help her with flash cards, and she’d test out explaining ideas to me as practice for essays and tests. Kids make great study buddies and they learn a bit, too. Plus, college means lots and lots of books on many different subjects. My very favorite books growing up were my mother’s college texts. I developed many interests that I still hold today from picking up stuff that my mom was reading for class. I just grew up thinking that it was normal for people to read and write and study hard all the time.

And if one of her classes was having a particularly interesting day (like the day they made plastic in chemistry class) she’d ask the instructor if I could visit. They always said ‘yes’, and these childhood visits really encouraged me to work hard so I could go to something as cool as college when I grew up.

11

If you do end up taking classes with more traditionally aged students and miss classes only when your “kids get sick, have a snow day, delayed opening, vacations or anything else,” you will end up going to more classes than 90% of your colleagues. It’s like rexnervous says – when you’re a kid, college is about the learning, but it’s also about everything that’s new to someone who’s out of his parents’ shadow for the first time – the being on your own, the drinking, the going to plays, the setting your own schedule, the not having to justify being out late, and the sex. You’re already an adult, so you’re not going to have to worry about getting lost in the novelty of all that.

–Cliffy

12

Just a word of advice though: Pay attention to the attendance requirements. Some of my classes would only let you miss 3 days before they start docking your grade. (So I dropped em).