I haven’t had junk food in ages. I’m not on a diet (though I should be). We’re just trying to save money so we’re not eating out or wasting money on junk food. But, I have a wicked sweet tooth that diet coke and prunes aren’t helping. So, I want to make a cake, using only what I have on hand.
I have:
Cake flour
Sugar
Powdered sugar
Cocoa powder
Diet Coke
Oil
Various instant pudding and jello flavors
Diet coke
Various spices and baking things (like baking soda, baking powder, butter, etc).
I might have canned pumpkin puree but I’m not sure.
Raisins
Prunes
About 2 tbsp of Nutella
Holy crap, I just realized that I have plain egg beaters too. That should solve my egg problem, right?
So, I realize my problem is not as bad as I thought, assuming egg beaters will work. Can anyone help me?
I found this recipe on Allrecipes.com. I compared your ingredients quickly and you should do all right. It’s just a yellow cake so what I would do is save the nutella to put over the top.
Oh, and if it were me, I’d throw a box of instant vanilla or banana cream pie pudding mix in and leave out a little flour but that’s just me.
I have no milk. The closest substitute that I have is fat free half and half. Any idea if it’s compatible? Any idea if my boyfriend would kill me if he has to drink black coffee tomorrow? 
I had no milk a couple of weeks ago, but I wanted cake. I used this recipe (warning, video autoplays), which sounds like it would be weird but it came out great. Really cakey, I wouldn’t have guessed there were no eggs or milk in it.
ETA: You didn’t mention having vinegar, but I am hoping you just didn’t consider it as a possible cake ingredient. 
Feh, just use water. I only ever have skim and let’s be honest, there ain’t much more to skim milk then there is to water.
If you do have canned pumpkin, you could make this pumpkin bar recipe. It’s always extremely popular whenever I make it (I made it in a layer cake form for a friend’s wedding rehearsal dinner, and her dad skipped the real food in favor of more cake!). I usually put a cream cheese frosting on it, but I’m sure it would be good without too, maybe dusted with powdered sugar.
2 c flour
2 c sugar
1 c vegetable oil
1 c chopped nuts (you could substitute raisins)
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
4 eggs (or the eggbeaters equivalent)
2 c canned pumpkin
Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour pan (the original recipe called for a jelly roll pan, but I’ve used two 9-inch round pans, or you could halve it and use one small pan).
I’ve lost the original recipe along with whatever mixing instructions there were, but when I make it, I just dump the ingredients in a bowl, mix, pour, and bake 25 minutes (or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean).