I thought someone had hijacked the OP’s username and was posting spam about some legit sporting event.
But an origami championship sounds very cool. Or at least it sounds good on paper.
I was really enjoying that new series on philately and stamp collecting but it was cancelled.
A truckload of lettuce was stolen in Hamilton, Ontario a few weeks ago. The police cautioned the public (via Twitter) to romaine calm.
The other day I was watching The Revenant, that movie based on the life of frontiersman Hugh Glass. Towards the beginning, there was a scene so grizzly that I could hardly bear to watch it.
Yeah. Looked good on paper though.
Lettuce pray for a speedy conclusion to the investigation into who the culprits were. They should get a firm dressing down once arrested, and the cops will pepper them with questions about the way things unfolded. How long will that all take? Beets me.
Latest news: The thief has been identified as a woman. It’s only a matter of time before the police caesar.
Confucius say: Glassblower who inhales shall have a pane in stomach.
Honey? I drank some food coloring.
So?
I dyed a little inside.
What did the ocean say to the mountain?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why is the ocean so salty?
The mountain never waved back!
…I’ll see myself out now.
The reason for that is that many eons ago, both the mountains and the ocean were wooing the same Goddess of Sand and it ruined their friendship.
They let a beach come between them.
… I’ll sea myself out now.
I was lying on the beach one day when a very old and unattractive woman rose up out of the surf and came ashore.
She was covered in seaweed that was so thick that it resembled lettuce. “I am the friendly Witch of the Sand,” she said, “I am only going to sunbathe.”
The sun was terribly hot. She baked on the sand until her skin turned as red as a ripe tomato!
I know it was rude, but I couldn’t help myself. I just had to stare. It was the first time in my life I had ever seen a bakin’ lettuce and tomato Sand Witch!
Gosh, I hope you aren’t bent out of shape about it.
Origami championships are a tough business, everything is done on paper thin margins.
Last year’s winner was disqualified for cheating – using prefolded paper. This year, he promised to turn over a new leaf.
They say you can never starve at the beach…
On her first day as a loan officer Ms. Patricia Black got a strange customer. A frog hopped into her office wanting to borrow money for a new home. When she asked if he had anything for collateral or if anybody could co-sign for him the frog put a Mick Jagger bobble-head on the desk and also claimed Mick was his father.
Thinking this was crazy she excused herself and went and told the bank manager the story showing him the figurine.
He replied “It’s a knick-knack Patty Black give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What’s brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.
What’s brown, sticky and smells bad?
A smelly stick.
Evelyn got thrown out of the tournament due to a technical disqualification, her coach Jimmy had to explain to her:
“There’s no tearing in origami!”