My wife and I have both been home all morning. We are not hard-of-hearing by any means.
We go out at 1:00 PM to find our mail delivered to us, and amongst the other items, a pink slip of paper claiming that there was a parcel that the maildimwit “tried to deliver” and that we must get it from the post office ourselves due to his/her/its failure to do so.
Listen, you lazy-ass sack of junk mail: before you check off the little box that says you tried to deliver it, you’re SUPPOSED TO FUCKING TRY TO DELIVER IT!
You never rang our bell.
You never knocked. (not even once, let alone twice)
We don’t live in an apartment. The doorbell is two feet away from the mail slot, if that.
To add insult to injury, you didn’t even bother to fill out that pink thing correctly! Today is December 10, but in the “date” area, you quickly dashed off “12/01”. You idiot, now you can’t even cover your lazy ass when we tell your boss about this. 12/01 was a Sunday…no mail delivery!
But you wouldn’t have had to burn your few brain cells remembering the proper date to write down if you’d just RUNG THE FUCKING BELL!
Is it so goddamed hard to deliver a parcel? Does it take so fucking long? You’re here anyway…why the hell not do your fucking job while your precious time is being spent here?
Lazy-ass sack of junk mail, I hope that the extra cup of coffee that you’ll drink on the time you saved from not delivering parcels gets caught in your throat and that the copy of the heimlich maneuver poster that’s supposed to be hung in your break room somehow “failed to have been delivered”.
Idiot.