It’s never too soon to start living long enough to be a burden to your children.
Regards,
Shodan
They’re fun til they hit 12 or so. Then they get all moody.
That is why I am embarking on the YEAR OF FUN*. I have heard from several friends about how their sons just became this emo mess at age 12. My son and I have always had a great relationship, and I am just trying to get through the next few years with the relationship intact.
Of course sonny boy doesn’t know it is the YEAR OF FUN. That would take the fun out of it.
My daughter was a lot of fun too. We got through years 12 and 13 without a problem and I thought I had dodged a bullet. Then she hit 14 and decided to make up for lost time on the surliness and the moodiness. I’ve suggested to her that if she doesn’t lighten up, she’ll be much too easily trolled for me to resist.
My partner and my son engage in a bunch of man-silliness that drives me batshit insane. (Short drive, or two buses; only one if you are willing to walk a bit through the park) Most of it involves in-jokes to cartoons, video games, or stuff involving crazy cartoon voices.
Then I realized that part of the game was “Getting a Rise out of Mom”. So I go along with it, feign a mild amount of constarnatuon and enjoy the interaction.
My recollection is that they rather gently crammed the pies into each others’ faces, rather than actually letting go and throwing them. I just picture them laughing hysterically, their faces covered in whipped cream, as we kids watched.
I do have fond memories of a trip to the emergency room when I was four. I had bitten my tongue pretty severely and had to have it sewed up. When the doctor put a sheet over me and told me that it wasn’t going to hurt, I somehow got the impression that it was the magic sheet that would make the procedure painless. I don’t have any memory of the pain, just the magic sheet that I thought was really cool.
I am married to an expert in pies in the face. When you are the Pie-er - you have to be gentle. Just like stage combat, you aren’t going for injury, but for effect.
When you are the Pie-ee, close your eyes and breath OUT through your nose. Rotting whipped cream in the sinus cavity is apparently a real bummer.
If you are prepping pies, just Reddi-whip in a tin-foil pie pan works, though crust does add effect.
If you are going to put a watermelon over someone’s head - score it first - they are HARD.
I fell on a broken bottle when I was little (on the schoolyard – imagines the lawsuits today) and the doc told me I would have a smile on my palm forever. I still recall that when I look at it, 40 years later. 
We went to the Emergency room when I was 7 because I sustained a rather deep cut just below my knee. The doctor debated the merits of stitches vs just a good cleaning and bandaids(was there paper sutures in the 1970s?) He said sutures would be “Guilding the lily.” That was the first time I ever heard that expression.
I did end up with a scar, it was quite visible for many years (Well into my 30s). In fact this summer I was surprised to realize it is only visible if you know where to look.
According to a history of Broadway I just finished (Michael Riedel’s Razzle Dazzle) William Hammerstein, a theatrical producer, invented the “pie in the face” gag. His grandson said that when he died, Broadway’s lights were dimmed.
Then the grandson added, “They were also dimmed for my father.” (Who was Oscar Hammerstein II, of Rodgers and Hammerstein.)
I do hope you donned your Humorless Parent Voice and declaimed “Son, I am not playing with my food. I am playing with YOUR food!”. 
As my fully bearded Uncle learned from my Dad the hard way, getting a banana cream pie in the face is not the same as a raisin pie in the face…
I love this. I am totally using this later today or next time the situation arises.
When my son was just 6 he said he wanted to be a lawyer. I thought I’d throw him off by asking “Civil or criminal?”. He responded immediately “Civil, they make more money”. I have no idea where he got that all from, and thank Og he didn’t turn out that way.