I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said, "I drank what?"

This isn’t going to be much of a rant. I’ve put it in the Pit because I should be yelling and screaming at the finance officer who so totally fucked my life up, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m just numb and hurt and frankly so completely gobsmackered that I don’t know what to do. Here’s the backstory.
A couple of months ago, I called on a client, a nice husband and wife real estate team. In the course of our discussion, I mentioned that my wife and I were wanting to buy a house in the near future, but that I had some credit issues left over from my first marriage that I was dutifly dealing with one at a time. Once they were fixed, we would look for financing. The financing officer part of this team, (I’ll call him “Brent” (mostly because it’s his name)) told me it might not be as bad as I thought. I had him run our credit, after he looked at it, he told me “I can definitely get you financing”.

Well. Wow. It seemed that our little piece of the American dream might not be as far off as I had thought. I took it up further with him, and he told me that it was definitely doable. We would have to go with what’s known as a stated income, no doc loan. What that means is that we wouldn’t have to provide a lot of info beyond our credit report and income. It got a little weird, Gingy has very good credit but little income, I have a nice income but crappy credit. We were going to go on Gingy’s credit score but with my income. IDK how it was going to be done, but he assured me every step of the way that it was not only possible but happening.

So we went looking for houses. We found a nice house in Parkville that we both liked and put in an offer on it, but for one reason or another the seller took another offer. We kept looking. We looked further out in the suburbs where more house could be had for the money, and we found one in Edgewood. A perfect rancher with a large yard, a fireplace, a garage and 4 bedrooms with an office in the basement. Everything we wanted/needed. We put in an offer, and it was accepted. W00t! We’ve found our house! The financing was in place ( as verified by Brent numerous times ), the property was what we were looking for, the schools were good for our kids, there was a park mere yards away for our toddler to play in…it was PERFECT! The monthly mortgage was a little bit higher than we had hoped for, but definitely doable. We were set!

So we went forward. We had a home inspection done, and the house was pristine. We had an appraisal done, a title search, all of it. Everything was 5X5. We were set to settle on the 31st of May and move on June 3rd. Happily knowing this I gave my current landlod notice that we would be moving out in a month, and told him he needed to find new tennents. This was May 10, meaning that our out of house date would be June 10, nevemind that we would be out on the 3rd. And he rented it effective on the 15th of June. Everything was fine and dandy.

Until the problems started. Remember, we’re doing this based upon Gingy’s credit. Out of the blue, she gets a past medical bill reported on her credit. This report was a complete mistake, our insurance had paid the bill in question, but a fuckup reported it on her credit. This report dropped her credit score just below what the lender required. We scrambled around and fixed it. Whew! that’s done. Next, however, the lender started asking for all kinds of documents ( which puzzled me, It’s supposed to be a “no doc” loan ) but wasn’t a big deal, we had the docs they wanted. We were getting nervous however. Settlement was now less than a week away, and they were still asking for more shit. I questioned Brent about it, and he told me (direct quote) “This loan will go through”. I believed him. However, it all came down to one thing. Gingy works for a large national pharmacudical compny, but she is not full time, so she is payrolled thru a temp agency. She’s not a temp, McKessan just uses a temp agency to payroll all their less than 30 hour/week employees. The lender wanted a note saying that she was an employee and not a temp.

McKessan wouldn’t give that note. They won’t give that note for full time employees. It’s company policy. Without that note, the loan died. And so we are screwed.

We have no loan, no house, no nothing. What we do have is a hard deadline for being out of our current house. I gave notice based upon what Brent told me. Thank God that day is next Saturday and not today. We have a weeks grace. One week until my children will be living in a refrigerator box.

Brent imediately took our loan to another investor whan the one that he “guaranteed” would take us backed out. We meet all the guidelines for a loan acording to him. It should happen on Monday he says. I’ve heard that before. Right now In wouldn’t trust him if he told me the sun was yellow.

He gave me another option, however. If I can come up with 6 grand, it will change the basis of the loan and get me accepted, guaranteed. I don’t have 6 grand. As a point of fact, I have 0 grand. I spent all my saved money on appraisals, inspections and all of the other bullshit this required. I’m done, I’m tapped out, I’m destitute. I’ve failed.
I’ve failed my family, my kid, my baby and myself. I’ve lost at the game of life. My family will be living under a bridge next week. I tried so hard! For naught.

I’ve got nothing to offer you in solace Dave, except that sometimes good things come out of bad things.

This is looking REAL bad for you now, but I hope that just around the corner…

Take it easy: it’s NOT the end of the world regardless of how you’re feeling at present.

I’m guessing that plenty of folks here on the Dope have been in similarly precarious positions, and they HAVE survived and gone on to bigger and better things.

Just think of it as a rotten phase…it will pass, and you will be the better man for it when it does.

Trite? Maybe. But I’ve been around on this earth long enough to prove it true.

(((((((Dave and Gingy))))))))))

I’m not a lawyer, nor even a US resident.
But this sounds like a scam to me (particularly the 6 grand).
Shouldn’t you get a lawyer?

Seconding glee’s suggestion – but I also think that Brent just didn’t do his job properly. Cold comfort for you guys – I do hope something comes right soon for you all.

First, talk to your current landlord and work out the details of staying longer. He may have rented it out already, or maybe not. Plus…wouldn’t he have to go through a formal eviction to get you to vacate? I think the first thing is to maintain a roof over your head. The new place will come.

Next…I don’t understand how you could not get the loan. I know of at least two people whose credit was atrocious and they both managed to get financing. Maybe you need to talk to another finance person.

Good luck with all of this. I agree with Kambucta. This isn’t the end of the world and things will work out.

If you can’t stay at your current place, maybe your landlord has another place, or can reccomend one?

And you haven’t failed-we may not always agree, but you are definitely a stand up family guy. Ginger and the boys are lucky to have you.

Good luck!

Would it be possible for you to move into the new house and rent from the owners until things get cleaned up?

I think your wife needs to talk to HR. Tell them they are screwing up her ability to buy a house. Can she get something from the temp agency confirming she is not a temp?

I wish I had something more useful to offer than sympathy and well wishes. I’ve always enjoyed your presence on this board, and I hate this has happened to you.

Best of luck here on out.

And yeah, definitely look into a lawyer. Brent sounds shady.

That sucks - I’m in the middle of this process at the moment, with a month to run on the tenancy, and don’t know what I’d do if something like that happened. My sympathies. I think if it were me, I’d go and camp out on Brent’s front lawn until he fixed it. Maybe he could loan you the 6K on no-interest terms? Can the temp agency report Gingy as a full-time employee? Or wouldn’t that carry any weight.

I’m not saying a lawyer isn’t prudent, but the amount of money down definitely affects the riskiness of the loan. If what is meant is that $6K more on the down payment gets them under a risk threshold, that is how it works. If he means, “I have a guy, and for $6K, he’ll make sure your loan goes through,” that’s another story.

They can’t do it. I’ve tried. I work legally for the temp agency as they payroll me; the parent company who I actually do the work for sees me as filling a permanent position but not as their employee, and neither is able to provide what the lender needed. Which, may I add, should not have been needed at all.

There is a very slim chance that it may go through. We will hopefully know Monday. As Dave said, there’s not really a lot of hope that the mortgage broker knows his ass from a hole in the ground, so we’re not looking at the bright side. It could still happen, but we don’t think it will.

We’re not going to live under a bridge, Dave’s parents live here and have room, and we’ll put our things into storage until we can find something else. I just can not believe that due to no fault of our own, we are effectively homeless in a week. Regardless of if we have anywhere to go, we MUST be out of here as the landlord has rented the place out to another family.

I have no advice to offer, since I’m certain you’ve done everything possible. It’s a terrible situation, Dave, and I’m very sorry.

I would not trust Brent, even if you had the $6k. Getting burned that badly when a person “guarantees” things is terrible. The phone book is filled with finance officers.

Just wanted to add, in addition to good wishes for a positive outcome, that a person who has the strength to keep a sense of humor (as shown by the use of the best quote from a great movie in the thread title) must have a very strong foundation. I do hope things work out well for you.

::sends hugs::

My husband and I went through this a little over a year ago. We went through:

–The mortgage salesperson putting in a request for the wrong kind of loan (resulting in an initial denial)

–The bank-appointed appraiser knocking down the house’s value because the water was turned off. In an empty house. In northern Illinois. In the winter. The bank suggested that we put the water in our name and have it turned on. We (politely) told them that that was a horseshit idea. The company claimed that the house wasn’t worth the 100K we loaned for because the water was off. This resulted in. . .

–The last-minute-required home inspection. This ended with the inspector saying that he had visually inspected the water system. He was also amazed that we’d gotten such a good deal (newer house, three bedrooms, bath-and-three-quarters, ceramic tile everywhere that required it, etc.). The company didn’t accept his report; they wanted the water turned on. He had to call them to explain that it was fine (and, guess what, it was).

–The company sending the documents to the wrong title company, significantly delaying our close.

–The stupid bitch in underwriting saying that she would only talk to my husband, and asking him to tell me to stop calling. Now, I had called only once, because the DH was busy, and I wanted to check on something. I was polite, reasonable, but I asked a lot of questions (this, incidentally, was when we found out they’d sent the documents to the wrong title company). She was very bitchy when she called my husband. He decided that I could handle it.

I was the primary borrower on the loan. Also, I work for the financial institution that was providing the loan, which meant that I had access to the list of supervisors. Which, needless to say, I used.

The good thing is that, after all the blood, sweat, and tears (when I thought we’d been declined, I cried), we got the house, and we’ve been in it for over a year now. So, have hope. It may still turn out.

I really am flabbergasted that the parent company and the temp agency are not able (or perhaps, not willing) between them to come up with a letter making clear what your employment circumstances are, and that the lender apparently won’t recognize whatever they can provide.

Jesus H. Christ, you’d think that in these times of non-traditional employment arrangements, and the ever-increasing number of temporary and contract workers, there would be better mechanisms in place to deal with shit like this.

Bolding mine.

It’s important to remember this, dave. No point getting down on yourself over something that was, by all appearances, entirely beyond your control.

Good luck to both of you, and the kids. I hope it all works out.

This sucks.

Dave, you did not fail, Brent failed.

You guys did what you were asked and he didn’t come through, even though he “guaranteed” he would.

Don’t be so hard on yourself Dave, what your family needs now is a Dave who will persevere.
Don’t let this fumble defeat you.
Don’t let it!

Good luck Dave and Gingy, everything will work out in the end.

Only you can make sure it does.

A few notes:

This sort of stuff happens a lot.

Brent is AFAICT a mortgage broker. Which is to say, a middleman. Middlemen are by their essence parasites at worst, expediters at best.

Brent has no money to loan you.

Brent had no business guaranteeing you that those who did have money to loan you definitely would. HTF would he know?

Do not believe or use middlemen unless you have to. Sometimes financial institution loan officers will try to help you out in figuring out what suits your specific needs, BTW, thus serving the same role the broker purports to. They’re in the business of originating, not denying, loans, so that helps you.

OTOH, bank officers or credit verification people aren’t always very smart. I had an equity loan hung up for weeks over their demand for my “W-2.” Because of the way I get paid (which is far from exotic or uncommon), I don’t get a W-2 – I get something else, which they looked at like it was written in Venusian.

BTW:

http://www.bankrate.com/comB/graphs/graph_trend.asp

Anecdotally, everyone I’ve ever talked to said that banks and finance officers will do everything legal (and maybe not legal) to drag their feet in approving a loan in a time of rising rates. Because if it falls through, hey, we’ll try again, but did we mention the rate’s gone up by .75%?

Be careful when you apply for a loan. The credit checks alone can as I understand it create “negative history” on your record, so a loan that falls through due to ineptitude by the lender may make the next application harder.

Do not assume that things are working their way through the system. Call every day if you need to. Make a paper trail showing that you offered to meet every objection they offered or supply every document they wanted (they are perfectly capable of letting the thing just sit there for a week until Barb in underwriting gets back from Bermuda).

Especially if you get a “good” deal (i.e., favorable rate lock, forgiveness of your poor credit) in the works, stay on top of it.

At times like these I wish we had a Doper mini-loan fund. Well, not that mini, but you know what I mean. Something besides the traditional bank bullshit that is necessary to buy a house, a car, or anything else that comes up in life. I’ve met Ginger and Dave, and I’d easily spot them $50 or $100, long down the list of creditors though I’d probably be.
Mini-loans work so goddamn well in destitute areas of the world (according to a banker and a government investment officer who are two of the 3 people from my teenage years that I still talk to) but nobody has really managed to get them to work here.

Pisses me off, especially since there is a very good chance I’ll be going through this whole mortgage shit myself in the next year.

Folks, I apreciate the replies. As Ginger indicated, things are not quite as bad as indicated, we can stay with my folks instead of living in a box, but they’re bad enough. The OP was a product of a six pack (and a couple) of beer and an all night Benson marathon on TV Land. Who wouldn’t be depressed after that? I’m came away from that with a full bladder, a conviction that if I had a spunky german housekeeper and a cynical butler then the whole situation would resolve itself in about 24 minutes, a deep self loathing for allowing myself to sink so low and the above OP. A few specific responses:

Stratocaster has it right here.

Well, first of all, he has rented it already. The new folks are moving in on our heels. Second, one of the things we have working for us is the landlord’s statement that we have been model tenents for the last 3 years, always paying our rent, it would be foolish to jeopardize that, I think.

We asked, but the seller’s brother (a lawyer) advised him to not allow us to do that under any circumstances. Stupid fucking lawyers.

Well, if we had the 6K, we wouldn’t have to turn it over until the actual settlement, it would be a part of the closing itself, so I’m not terribly worried about any type of scam. As for Brent, we’re stuck with him, at least thru tomorrow. We’ve talked (informally) with another load officer, this time one that works directly for a lender, and he thinks he can get us a loan-but we’d have to start the whole damn process over again, and I don’t know if the seller will hold on for that long. We haven’t made a formal inquiry, because if he pulls our credit it will cause our scores to go down-just a tiny amount, but that might be enough to upset the applecart-and at this point I don’t want to risk anything. We’ll see what happens tomorrow. If it goes through, great, we’re good. If not, you can bet someo of those other finance officers will be getting a call.

Yea, I know. thx for the kind words. I was having a depression moment when I wrote the OP. I think it’s understandable, tho, look at the situation I’m in. I mean, think about it, Benson! For hours and hours and hours at a time! Wouldn’t you be depressed too?

Yes, I know all of that, but when I specifically asked “Is the loan approved” and was told “yes”, well, what am I supposed to think?

Quick! Call 60 of your friends who feel the same way and then get back to me! :smiley: :stuck_out_tongue:

Damn, Dave and Gingy, I’m so sorry for you guys. Hope this works out somehow.

Let me add my voice to the chorus that doesn’t trust Brent. When I got to the line about the $6K, my first thought was, “Is Brent from Nigeria, by any chance?” I expect he’s probably not scamming you per se because he and his wife can hardly skip town on $6000, but it sounds like for whatever reasons, he’s using his position as middleman to keep you in the dark while he promises more than he can deliver. Extricate yourselves from dealing with this guy, as fast as possible.

If you’ve already handed over any cash to Brent, tell him you want it back or you’ll be talking with a lawyer. And you want to know which bank, mortgage company, or other lender he’s been dealing with, and the name and number of the person he’s been dealing with, so you can call them up yourself and find out what’s been going on.

If there really IS a deal with an honest-to-goodness lender that didn’t quite go through, maybe you can patch it up with them. If there isn’t, then what Huerta88 said - work directly with a bank if the seller will give you time to see if you can find new financing.

Finally, even when you’re dealing with an honest, efficient lender, screwups can happen that push the closing date back a week or two. That’s just life, and you need to allow for it.