Well, someone has to do it. All together now, in the key of D:
(Sung to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic )
He was just a cherry trooper and he surely shook with fright
as he checked all his equipment and made sure his pack was tight
He had to sit and listen to the awful engines roar,
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
“Is everybody ready?” cried the Sergeant, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered “Yes,” and then they stood him up.
He leaped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of a way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock;
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop;
He jerked his cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome;
The lines were snarled and tied in knots, around his skinny bones;
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
The days he’d lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind;
He thought about the girl back home, the one he’d left behind;
He thought about the medics and wondered what they’ed find.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild;
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and smiled;
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
He hit the ground, the sound was splat, his blood went spurting high;
His comrades then were heard to say, “What a helluva way to die”;
He lay there rolling ‘round in the welter of his gore.
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
CHORUS:
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
Gory, Gory, What a hell of way to die
He ain’t gonna jump no more.
There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the 'chute.
Intestines were a-dangling from his paratrooper suit.
He was a mess, they picked him up and poured him from his boots.
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.
