I’ve stopped cowering when I see you. I’ve stopped shrieking for my dad/boyfriend/roommate/co-worker to come and kill you. I even didn’t kill two of you that I saw the other day- within 15 minutes of each other! I stay in my habitat as often as possible, and don’t tresspass into yours very often. So why, spiders, why?
This is a full-force attack on my sanity. I saw three of you in as many hours the other night, all while at work. You were all big suckers, too! I only killed the one, because it was an inch away from my shoe- it was a reflex! And then it had the gall to stick to my shoe, all eight limbs and dime sized body, legs sticking out every which way until I walked outside and wiped it on the doormat as a warning to other spiders what would happen if you came too close and suprised me. But instead of taking a warning, you're getting more bold! When I moved in, there was one on my doorframe. Months ago, there was one beneath my door knocker. Last week (or so...) there was one on my couch. This week, three while I'm at work. Yesterday, when I got into the canoe (I admit, this was your territory, but I was on the water, from a dock, and you were not a waterbug, nor did you build the dock.). Finally, right now, one crawling up the wall next to my computer. You are not invited guests, and this state does have the Make My Day law. I will kill you on sight. I will squash you with a shoe, a piece of paper, a tissue, a book... I am not afraid anymore, just pissed off. As previously noted, I will fight to the death- yours- against these new spider wanna-be overlords. May Og have mercy on your souls.