He was oddly specific about that middle school dance, though.
If we’re looking for a single word to describe a country that does those things, then “socialist” might not be the best one, but the fact is that those programs are run in a way that socializes wealth by redistributing it for the common good through a system of taxation and government spending. Philosophically and politically, institutions like the fire department and the military and public schools are really no more or less socialist than a single-payer health care system. The questions of which services get socialized, and which don’t, reflect particular moral and political priorities.
Of course, even in a system where government provides things, there is still room for different levels of socialist redistribution. Part of the equation is where the government gets the money that it uses for the things it provides. For example, a system where the government builds roads out of general tax revenue is, in some important ways, more socialist than a system where the government builds roads and funds them through tolls or a tax on gasoline. A system where schools are funded by all taxpayers is more socialist than a system where schools are funded by a levy placed directly on families with children. User-pays services are not really socialist in the same way as generally funded services.
Mixed cases. The Interstate Highway system is a government project…but private construction companies bid for the contracts to build segments of it. The Apollo Project was a government thing, and lots and lots of private companies built the components of it. These are “socialism” to a certain degree. The military, the police, public fire departments: socialism. Like it’s a bad thing?
Agreed! OP, I think you might have a future in comedy. Or at least in angry YouTube videos (a thriving industry!)
My thoughts exactly. For a Dumbguy, he shore talks purty.
Look, I think to qualify as “socialist” a country needs to have a much larger measure of state/social management/ownership of the economy than is now found in any European country save Belarus. Venezuela might qualify or be getting there. Socialism != social democracy. Which we don’t really have much of in the U.S. either, by any reasonable measure; our Gini coefficient alone disqualifies us from the social-democratic club, IMO.
It’s a bell curve.
Good luck convincing some people I know, who think Europe is a socialist hellhole, and Scandinavia is practically the Soviet Union of Europe. It’s good for a chuckle though.
And kudos to the OP, that rant was a thing of beauty.
Its… ahem… Art!
:o
I happen to think socialized medicine is a pretty fine idea, but could people PLEASE the fuck cease and desist with the strawman argument “social medicine because highways”. It’s dishonest and unpersuasive. Infrastructure is a fairly transactionally obvious benefit in that everybody knows they’re needed, they see what’s been delivered, and everyone benefits equally. It’s a wholly different animal from arguing that society should help people when they’re unlucky, vulnerable, or disadvantaged, and that it’s okay for the extremely lucky to bear a disproportionate share of this expense. That is a worthy and noble proposition that has fuck-all to do with whether the government makes roads.
Highways - Provide a good for society as a whole. Everyone pays so non drivers, or at least people who don’t use highways, subsidize those who do.
Socialized medicine - Provides a good for society as a whole. Everyone pays so those who aren’t sick subsidize those who are.
<touches nose, winks at nobody>
Agree so much with the OP! I hear so many people throwing that word around without realizing what kind of effect true unrestrained capitalism would have on their lives.
Uhm, OK. 
Socialists are hipsters.
In actual words: “Right on the nose”
Meaning: An accurate statement.
“Indeed, the only people who seem to think Obama displays even the slightest social democratic tendency are those who imagine that the very mention of the word ‘socialism’ should inspire a reaction like that of a vampire confronted with the Host.”
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He was eating pizza before it was cool!