If we’re doing wish lists, can I wish to be Angelina Jolie? How about Natalie Portman?
::: whistles, rounds everyone up and steps up to the podium :::
People! PEOPLE!!! Listen!
Now, as I should have said, I’ve never even encountered Ms. Lohan before the other night in any context except peripherally. I knew who she was and that there was some sort of perpetual feud between her and Hilary Duff (as if!), but that was the extent of my knowledge. I hadn’t read any interviews or seen a single item about her on TV.
So, that said, I had no clue if she was ditzy, full of herself or what-have-you.
But because this is my wish, I get to decide the rules. And since she’s bringing all the goodies, I’ll have to add something to the mix… and that’ll be the bleeding heart and whatever IQ points I got. Specifically, I’m not so good with math, but I’m ok with having ye old English as my first language. 
To the naysayers and fans (YIPPEE! I’ll have FANS!!):
[ol]
[li]She is TOO gonna be quite the brain once we swap. See previous explanations above.[/li][li]She IS a liberal who’ll be forced to vote Democrat, like me, out of necessity. See many a recent post-election thread.[/li][li]If that is fat, I can’t wait to be there and I’m happy when I can legitimately call myself a size 10.[/li][li]She does NOT look like Frankie Munoz. Eww! Instead, I choose to see her as the heir apparent to what Dana Plato’s career should have been if I was in control of the body. We’ll be seeing the evidence shortly, I’m sure.[/li][li]We will not even remotely be using the name “Paris” around me, the future Lindsay Creature-Hybrid. So, Lalalalala, I can’t hear you! As if.[/li][li]What’s wrong with a little trampy sexuality, huh? I mean, we aren’t crossing into the Britney/Xtina territory here, just reveling in the fact that I ain’t EVER looked that good. Ya know? Support among us sisters is what’s needed. Share the love. :D[/li][li]Of course she’s a little out there. She’s 18! (Wonder what age we’ll be when we merge?) Hell, when I saw that year, in 1986, I still thought the earth was only around 6,000 years old, believed that virginity was the ONLY way to go until marriage and that Stryper was a good band. Beliefs change, I tell ya. Fortunately, all my foibles weren’t preserved for all posterity into sound bites that could haunt my ass on the internet. We gotta cut her/us some slack. 'Kay?[/li][li]Zebra, I do see a line forming. You got something extra to offer? Like Godiva, Love’s Baby Soft (hey, something’s have to remain that are me) or vintage Levis? Let me know and I might be able to hook us up.[/li][li]Thank you Indygrrl. I knew there’d be a kindred spirit among us who’d understand. [/li][li]Fez can definitely come along too, although I’d prefer a Hyde/Eric sammich instead.[/li][li]Your kind words, petelin, are a balm for my desperate soul. Do you think you have any push with the Wish Person? Can you send some karma our way and make this happen soon? I’m about to hyperventilate with my Lindsay desires. Hurry, hurry, hurry! [/li][li]NB, trust me. You’re absolutely drop-dead beautiful. As a celebrity-in-waiting, I’ve gotten the super, duper insight going on and I can just tell from your cyber vibe. Therefore, wear that “Sexy as Hell” t-shirt and dazzle more than just the hubby. I swear it’s true! You go girl!! [/li][li]For all those wanting to do unspeakable acts with my alter ego, who is VERY, VERY young in her current state (and probably terribly inexperienced), would y’all be willing to give her future home a try ‘before you buy’ option now? I might be able to hand out some early reviews that would be, um, more interesting, shall we say. Sneak peeks possibly available upon request. ;)[/li][/ol]
If that damn Fairy Person would just return my calls…
::: goes to learn being gracious under fire, not letting them see you sweat and practicing signing my autograph :::
I’ll wave goodbye until next time. Chow my loves!!
Hey, we can’t co-opt my thread until after I’ve gone over to the other side. Because, I don’t have an ego yet and would be truly trampled under all the admiration for your probably superior choice. However, until then, wanna help me learn the ropes? Then once I’m up and running as the new uber Lindsay, I’ll lend my voice to your cause. What do you say? We’ll unite in our hotness (although I’m sure you already are), hipness and uniqueness.
Watch out world, E! and the ultimate in Hollywood Squares!!
You’re on! See you in Hollywood! 
[hijack]It’s more disturbing that when I put on my new winter hat the other day, and stood in front of my husband and said, “Oh my god, do I look like Jay of Jay and Silent Bob?” he said yes. I mean, a yes to “Do I look like Frankie Munoz?” would be bad enough, but Jay? OF JAY AND SILENT BOB? I think I need to go lie down.[/hijack]
I say that everytime I see her. I was going to post in Cafe Society to ask if they were related somehow.
Good luck with that, faithfool! I think you made the right choice. She’s just dreamy. I thought she was cool as hell way back when she was in The Parent Trap – not in the super-duper creepy “that 9-year-old is HOT!” way, but in the “what a cool child actress!” way. Make sure you see her in Freaky Friday too; she actually really acts in that one, and does a great job playing a mom trapped in a teenager’s body. Even better than Jamie Lee Curtis did as the opposite, and I’m a big fan of Curtis’.
And Diogenes – you’re high, she’s not “fat”, and it’s “fluctuate.”
To my latest subjects…
First, thank you ever so humbly for stopping by.
::: blows kisses and does the Homecoming Queen smile :::
Now then. I’m so happy you all are here.
jsgoddess~ At least Jay’s the cute one. Not that I don’t like Kevin Smith, but come on! Jason, The Pot Head has LONG hair! And I’m still bettin’ your the best of the bunch though.
Here I was thinkin’ that Stuffy and I had shared a moment during SD Jeopardy II. 
How can that be if he’s dissin’ on me/Lindsay (faithlind or Lindfool) ?? Say it ain’t soooo!
I knew I liked you Sol!! I just didn’t know all the reasons. We share that ‘good taste’ thing too. 
I might have to make you president of my club (or two or seven). We’ll be giving out some really neat promotional items, I’m sure. Like a faux tiger slap bracelet. Want one?
Since I’m not a fan of Lindsay Lohan but think both Angeline and Natalie are gorgeous, allow me to be first in line for when you change while everyone else can fight over faithfool.
At least he didn’t say, “Nah, more like Dante”. :eek:
If she had added in Keira Knightley, we would be at war.
Do I have something more to offer.
How about Ms. Lohan herself.
Well, a life size cardboard stand-up of her.
And of course you can finally find out what so many doper woman have wondered and learn the answere to the “Is it striped?” question.
OH come on! Some of you must have wondered about it!
I’ll settle for wanting to be Wilmer Valderrama, that way I get to date and (if necessary) nail Ms. Lohan.
I know this is dirty, but after reading this thread all I can think about is a Duff-Hilton-Lohan 3-way…
<passes out>
Don’t forget Anne Hathaway, who is a hottie beyond belief. Toss out Paris Hilton, total skank.
Now consider the Duff-Hathaway-Lohan 3-way. The total of all the ages might barely exceed mine. Sigh…
Hey, based on the first “hanfool” of reviews for Lindsey’s performance on That 70’s Show, it might be hard to keep the faith concerning rhe desirability of your would-be metamorphosis…
Whoops, forgot to link the relevant thread.
Personally I’d go with the Lohan-Zebra-Hathaway combo.