I woke up stupid this morning.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I’m in the middle of a pretty straightforward dream – I’m walking around downtown in an unfamiliar bustling metropolis. I approach an intersection with about a dozen folks waiting for the signal to cross, and notice that one guy has stepped off the curb and is standing in the street. A taxi is approaching and brakes hard.

I reach over and grab the guy’s shoulder and pull him back up onto the sidewalk, and when he turns around he’s livid. “Keep your hands to yourself, asshole!” Now, I know my dream behaviour was a bit rude, but it seemed logical at the time, and it also seemed natural to scream at the guy: “What do you think you’re doing standing in the street like a stupid goddamned bumpkin?” (Yes, “bumpkin.” I have no idea. The guy was dressed for business, as it happens.)

The guy immediately starts swinging, and pretty soon we’re having a hell of a dust-up, rolling around on the pavement with a circle of shocked onlookers standing around us like it’s a schoolyard at recess. It’s not long before I gain an advantage and have him pinned, and I start brutally wailing on him, throwing all my weight into the punches.

Meanwhile, in real life, this happens:

I am asleep on my right side, with my right hand under my head and my elbow sticking straight out in front of my face. With my left arm, I’m punching down. I’m not talking about a sleepy, feeble gesture, either: I’m punching hard.

I think I woke up the first time I connected with my right tricep. It hurt, but as far I knew I was in a wicked fight, so I didn’t slow down. I hit again, harder. Right on the underside of my arm, in the same place I’d hit it before.

Now, I’ve already got a certain amount of low-level muscle pain, because I’ve been hitting the weights pretty hard, trying to get myself into shape for the summer. But this arm, Jesus. A constant dull ache, and a sharper pain when I have to flex it.

People sometimes say I tend to beat myself up over things, but this is the first time I can recall doing it literally.

I am such a fecking dumbass. :smack:

2

Impressive - I woke up clumsy this morning (everybody knocks the spoon out of their cereal down their work pants and loses it under their computer desk, right? At least I didn’t dump the whole, full bowl on my keyboard - again), and it didn’t seem to wear off. I was making a sandwich with sliced cheddar for lunch, and had visions of how much damage I could do with the knife. I got myself marginally under control and placed the knife far away from my bumbling hands. I’m going to go make myself supper now - wish me luck!

3

I woke up lazy this morning.

Oh, wait…

4

But did you eat stupid food for breakfast?

That’s the clincher.

:wink:

5

Maybe tomorrow you could just let him sleep.

Sorry, it got the better of me.

6

A few years back (well, about 7) I had a dream that I was in a soccer game (I don’t play soccer, or any other sport BTW). Anyways. I’m running down the field towards the goal with the ball. I’m getting pretty close, but the ball is starting to get a little bit ahead of me. I was at a point where if I keep going, the ball will be to far away from me to do anything with, but I’d have to kick it REALLY hard to make it in from where I was. So as I’m running, I bring my foot all the way back and swing it foward at the ball as hard as I possibly can, but the ball was just barely out of by reach and I missed it…And wound up kicking the wall of my dorm room in my sleep. To this day I can’t believe I didn’t break my foot. Luckily, all I wound up with was some bloody toes. The walls there are cinder block with some sort of a texture sprayed over them. It’s rough enough that most people at some course of their college life scape and elbow or knee on it in their sleep.
Hurts just thinking about it.

7

thirdwarning, do you post so infrequently because every one has to meet a certain quality standard? That was a good 'un.

And, featherlou, I gotta ask: Did your cereal spoon go down the inside or the outside of your pants before it disappeared under the desk? If it’s the latter, I wake up that clumsy pretty regularly. If it’s the former, though – that’s some sort of special thing you’ve got going on.

I still hurt, dammit.

8

Actually, I post so infrequently because usually by the time I get here somebody has said what I mean. Thanks, though.

Now I have Eeyore in my head: (droopy voice)Thanks for noticing me.

9

You are lucky. I wake up stupid so often it’s only worth commenting on the rare occasions when I wake up normal. I haven’t woken up smart for half a decade…
:frowning:

10

The last time I woke up stupid I was dreaming I was being atacked. I was trying like hell to get away but then they got their hands around my throat. When I woke up and still felt hands squeezing my throat, yeah, they were mine. :rolleyes:

It scared the crap out of me for a second though.

11

Larry, I’ve done the same thing.

And afterwards, I’ve increased my exercise routine, because I knew stress was messin with me.

Extra laps, boyo.

You’ll thank yourself for it later on.

12

You had a dream that you were wailing on someone in a fight?

That’s cool. Like some people, I have a lot of “soft punch” dreams (where I put a lot of effort into it, but the punches happen in slow motion and barely even make contact with the person).

13

Heck, that’s not so dumb.

The other night I dreamed I ate the World’s Largest Marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone. :wink:

14

You tried to strangle yourself in your sleep? Talk about creepy. I’d never sleep again! :eek:

Perhaps some psychotherapy, to try to get your ego and id re-integrated? :wink: