It’s the wrong size and I don’t like the color. Also, people I love keep dying of cancer.
Well, we can only give you store credit. The 2019 rack is over there, next to the Trump-branded neckties and global warmers; maybe you can find something more to your liking amongst them.
We’re sorry, this is a non-returnable item as it is a personal item and has obviously been used and much of it has been depleted.
We can only offer a free replacement of this item for a brand new 2020 should you qualify to make it that long. Unfortunately that won’t be available until seven months from now.
In the meantime we can only offer our heartfelt sympathy for your experiences with this product and suggest you use the Nostalgia accessory to enjoy previous versions. While the Nostalgia accessory can’t be fully used to bring up obsolete versions it is capable of recreating some enjoyable sections of them.
All we have left is the same size and color, but the people are dying of heart failure instead.
Sorry to hear that you’re going through this, Marcellus - the loss of loved ones is a blow, regardless of reason, but seeing them pass of cancer is an especial cruelty life should never have offered.
I saw that “brand-new” 2020 calendar…and it is the same shitty 2019 calendar with a cheap “2020” sticker over the top of the previous “2019”.
For you, we’ll throw in an extra day. No charge.
No returns, no refunds. Life is a bitch.
A few years in my life have been bad enough I wanted to check-out. It gets easier. Hold your head up.
ETA I’m truly sorry for your losses.
…it is scratched.
Uh, no, no, no. This is a tobacconist’s.
Ah! I will not buy this tobacconist’s; it is scratched.