Pic. Central South Carolina.
My guess: Corn snake.
That is sadly not an awesome pic for ID purposes. A darkish Corn Snake a la Beowulf is a possibility. Another is the Mole Kingsnake. If you had a shot of the head or a little closer look at the scales that could help narrow it down.
I am thinking Milk Snake
Earthworm on steroids?
Great thread title and member name combo.
Another reason to not go to SC? 
(I have a trip planned to Charleston soon. I’ve already seen pics of the spiders.)
Obviously a Carolina Krait (Bungarus Carolinius).
One nip and you’re done for!
Hip size?