Please don’t take this personally, but if you are ever in my house, I will cut off both your hands before I allow you into my kitchen.
Hugs,
Knead
Ewwwww. Then he’d have to make that monstrosity with his feet! 
Don’t knock it, one man’s slop is another man’s lunch, and all that bullshit. I was thinking along the lines of a baked bean sandwich. I eat them with Easter Ham for Lunch. And if you don’t like those, then I’m afraid we are at an impasse.
It makes perfect sense for a vegetarian sandwich… I would slow bake the vegetarian beans with some mollasses, ketchup, onions, sauerkraut and brown sugar, develop a binary of deep rich flavor to equal the corned beef, maybe add some corning spices to the beans- coriander, pepper, salt, etc. It would make a great substitute with sheese if you didn’t want the meat.