In the short story “The Marching Morons”, a sleeper awakes to a future where a handful of intelligent people keep civilization going while the mass of humanity are imbeciles. The intelligent people haven’t been able to come up with a way to deal with the problem: simply letting the imbeciles go to hell in a handbasket would ruin the planet, and eugenic measures like sterilization are defeated by the imbeciles sheer ability to breed. The 20th century man comes up with a solution: An efficient program of genocide along Nazi lines.
But really, I think there would be a much better way. Fill the world with lots and lots of ways for stupid people to kill themselves (or their children). My suggestion: sell rat poison in bottles that look exactly like soda bottles except for the word “POISON” instead of the soft drink name. Your suggestions?
Even an idiot knows to hire a lawyer if their kid drinks a soda and dies.
Here’s a variation of something I suggested in a thread a few years back when that tiger leapt the fence and mauled the annoying kid:
Put a head and shoulder-sized hole in the tiger wall, with a huge orange sign that says:
WILD KILLER TIGER ON OTHER SIDE OF WALL. IT IS THERE TO PREVENT YOU FROM LOOKING AT THE PICTURES OF NAKED CELEBRITIES, ALSO ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL. DO NOT PUT YOUR HEAD OR ARM THROUGH THE HOLE.
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO GRAB THE PICTURES OR THE DELICIOUS ICE CREAM. THEY ARE BOTH WELL OUT OF YOUR REACH!
Nah, nothing quite so immediate or drastic is needed.
Just make fresh foods out of the financial reach of your average family, but ensure that processed foods and things like Maccas and Kentucky Fried Chicken are cheaper…within one generation you have increased obesity rates with all the associated problems and by the second generation the death rate is much increased and the ‘moron’ population decreases exponentially.
Obesity doesn’t tend to kill before said families can reproduce.
Also, any scheme of targeted moron extermination will eventually breed the population back up to the level of intelligence where they are capable of recognizing that you are trying to kill them. I’d go with short-term environmental catastrophe segueing into collapse of civilization, thereby ensuring that my group can emerge from our secure locations and sweep up the survivors of the catastrophe as heroes.
Start spreading rumors like “immunizations cause Autism” and the childhood mortality rates should increase. You’d also have to figure that starvation would eventually be an issue for most.
Speaking of labels, take all of the labels off everything, and replace them with vague generics. “This can or red stuff. Is it paint or tomato sauce? I’ll put it on the spaghetti/on the house (pick one) and find out.”
Start a couple of national campaigns promoting herd-thinning behavior. You can start with “Drunk Driving: It’s The Coolest!” (might want to stay indoors for awhile after that one kicks off, though).
I think starting unneccessary wars and overseas conflicts would be a great step towards this. And you could specifically target lower income populations to serve. It would probably be even better if you were able to somehow send them into a war zone without proper protection, but I think that’d be a little too blatant, wouldn’t it?
“Bees are fun. Hornets too!”
“Bears make nice pets.”
“When something speeds up so fast that it’s invisible, it’s no longer there!”
“The faster you go, the less you need to stop.”
You gotta remember that usually all those Darwin Awards stories start with some sort of drunken idea or bet. I’d start competitions like “A Million Dollars if you jump the grand canyon in your pickup truck!”
“Stairs – what a waste of time!”
“Planting your vegetables the old fashioned way? Explosives – the new Garden Weasel”
“The newest gifting trend-- give your blood to a sick friend. All you need is a razor blade, a funnel and a milk jug.”
In WI, snowmobiles breaking through lake ice is usually the first evidence we have of the season’s change. And we know fall is approaching by all the plane crashes going to and from the EAA airshow in Oshkosh.
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