Idiot callers

The phone just rang here in my office. I picked up with our standard corporate greeting. After a pause, a caller asked for some person I’ve never heard of.

I told her that she had reached a business, and that no one with that name worked here.

She replied, “What does that mean?”

Flummoxed, I replied that it meant that I’ve never heard the name before.

To this she replied, “I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I beg your pardon?!”

Her: “I don’t believe you. We have reached that person at this number before.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. This is [my company name], and no one by that name works here.”

Her: “Well, I still don’t believe you.” [Click]
What the fuck was that all about?! It’s times like this that I wish our office phone system had caller ID. I would have called them back and given them an earful.

For what it’s worth, my office just relocated about 6 months ago, and we got a new phone number at that time. Did it ever occur to the idiot caller that phone numbers occasionally get reassigned, or that she may have misdialed it? Of course not, it’s far more likely that the engineering company she called is lying to her. :wally

But it is obviously your fault that she didn’t get the person she wanted.
You must be in on the conspiracy.




Maybe she forgot her meds?


This happened to me once. I offered to use a different voice and answer the phone as the person she was seeking. She hung up and didn’t call back.

The only response is to say “You are right. I’ll connect you.” Then put down the phone and go about your business. See how long she stays on the line before hanging up. Give yourself points for any time over 5 minutes. :smiley:

It could have been worse, I’ve had those people call back to make sure the person you’ve never heard of still isn’t there because that was the number they were given.

Some people don’t understand that redialing does not mean using the redial button to dial the wrong number you just dialed.

No kidding. I was on the receiving end of this the other day. A vet’s office called me at home.
Ultra-chipper voice: “Hi, this is Cindy at Dr. Simpson’s office! I’m calling to confirm Fluffy’s appointment for tomorrow at 10:00!”
Uh, sorry, you’ve got the wrong number. No “Fluffy” lives here, none of the critters are scheduled for an appointment, and our pets don’t see Dr. Simpson, they see another vet.
The woman apologized and hung up. A second later she called back, chipper as the first time, to again confirm Fluffy’s appointment. I told her, “You just called me - you have the wrong number.”
She apologized again and hung up.
Seconds later the phone rang. “Hi, this is Cindy at Dr. Simpson’s office! I’m calling to confirm Fluffy’s appointment for tomorrow at 10:00!”
This time I got snotty. “Look, this is the third time you’ve called me. You’ve either written the number down wrong, or you’re dialing wrong. Are you sure you’re not just hitting redial?”
She hung up without saying a word.

hehe. I had three calls in a row like that, only it was around 3 am. I was not happy. My solution along the eye-for-an-eye route. I called her back three times. Circa 3 am. On three different nights. With my caller ID blocked.:smiley:

I’ve had the same number at this job for just over 6 years now. I still get calls from people looking for the guy who had it before me.

From the “Funniest movie scenes ever” thread at

If Kelly Allen posts here I have what used to be your phone number and you should really start paying all those people, and give them your new number!
The first day I had my cell phone it rang and I answered it. It was for Jennifer. It was Jennifer’s mother and she was mad that I was not Jennifer. “But I’m calling from Ha-WAI-i!”, she screeched. Oh, well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? I’ll let Jennifer out of the trunk to use the phone.

I don’t believe you.

I once had a young boy (his voice hadn’t yet changed) call three times in a row looking for a girl. The third time, I finally said, “Sweetie, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think she gave you a wrong number.” He finallly stopped.

Usually, if I get called back the second time, I’ll pick up the phone and say, “[Person] still isn’t here,” or “You still have the wrong number.” Yeah, I have Caller ID.

I used to get calls to my private line, with people asking for three different, yet very similar names: Ivan, Yvonne, or Yvette. :confused:

That was strange enough. Finally, after about a year of getting calls asking for Ivan, Yvonne, or Yvette, I changed my answering machine message to:

“Hello. You have reached xxx-xxxx. I am not available right now. By I, I mean myself, Anastasia. If you are calling here looking for an Ivan, or a Yvonne, or a Yvette, you have dialed the wrong number, as nobody by those names live here. However, if you have a message for me, please leave your name, number, and a short message, and I’ll get back to you. Thanks!”

I thought that was pretty straightforward. I got a lot of hangups in my messages, as people processed this “new” information. Until one day, I got a very irate message from an older-sounding lady, who was yelling:

“Look, Ana-whoever-you-are! That was the rudest message I have EVER heard! How dare you! I just wanted to speak to Yvonne, and you have to insult me with your rude, rude message! You are really a piece of work, young lady! You make me very angry!! SLAM!

Goodness. And to think she wasn’t insulted by my previous answering machine message: “Hi! You have reached xxx-xxxx. Please leave you name, number, and a brief description of what you are wearing. Thank you!”

People confuse me.

Yesterday at work:

Co-worker: Your cell phone’s lit up.

Me: (glancing at it) Oh. It’s a wrong number.

CW: How can you tell?

I hold up the phone to him. The display reads: “wrong number”.

Mr. Yamamoto needs to tell his buddies that they have the wrong number for his cell phone (probably we have the same number, but mine starts with 090 while his is one of the smaller providers that start with 080 or 070). After telling them (politely) that they had the wrong number, I set my phone to reject calls from them, but there’s one that keeps getting through for some reason. So I simply entered him into my address book as “wrong number”.

I think you all need customers_suck.

I worked on a helpdesk for a while, and got a call from a guy who thought he was speaking to his bank. I explained that he must have a wrong number. He asked me if I was sure - I said “yes” and told him the name of the company I work for, and what we do. We are not a bank. “But I got a letter from xxxxx Bank asking me to call this number”. He even read the number off the letter to me. It was ours. I had to explain several times that I was not lying, that was our number, and his bank must’ve put the wrong number on the letter.

Then there was the time a national electronics shop put our number on their website for technical help. So many people kept ringing up when their TV didn’t work. “Can you put me through to them?” No, sorry, we don’t know anything about this company. Eventually we managed to get them to correct their website.

I love (when I’m on the phone at the ENORMOUS retail store I work at) when people ask me if somebody is in. Unless that somebody is a manager, or works somewhere in apparel, I have NO CLUE. Even if I’d been working there for years I’d have NO CLUE. There’s probably at least a couple of hundred people working there total, am I supposed to suddenly know them all and know their schedules???

Oh, and bitching for me for five minutes and not giving me the chance to say, “Sir/ma’am, hang on, let me put you through to Customer Service so they can actually HELP you,” isn’t going to help you any, since you’re just going to have to repeat yourself. I answer the phone. I have been there for two and a half weeks. I know nothing about return policies and the like. I know who CAN help you if you will shut up long enough for me to tell you that.

Yes, we have a six item limit for the fitting rooms. Deal, bitch.

No, I don’t know where everything in the store is. I probably never will. Right now, unless you’re looking for clothes, the best I can usually do is point you in the right direction and tell you to ask the next employee you come across. So don’t get mad at me, okay? I’m TRYING to help you.

Yep, customers are my problem. Most of them are fine. But a few…ARRRRGH!

I once had a phone number that differed by one digit from the number of a resort motel. If the same person called three times in a row, which happened with stunning regularity, I would answer the phone using the name of the motel and then give whatever answer the wrong number dialer wanted to hear. I made quite a few reservations for people who persisted in calling my number after I had given them the correct one. I wouldn’t do that now, but I was younger and had less patience back then.

Wow, evil is such a wonderful way.

When I was young we used to get calls for a shoe store at least weekly. I would usually just tell them they were off by a number and to try again.
One Idiot called back 2 more times. The third time I carefully explained that “if I ever heard his voice again I would report him for making harassing and obscene calls. If you can’t figure out how to dial, stop calling and drive over tomorrow.” It was also past 10pm at this point and I really doubt they were open. I never did hear him again.


Someone who sounded like a little girl used to call my cell phone all the time. She probably called at least a dozen times over the course of a few months, and always started by saying, “Hello. Is this Jesse?” She never seemed disappointed that it wasn’t Jesse, nor did she seem perturbed when I tried to explain to her that there would never be a Jesse at this number no matter how many times she called.

She finally freakin’ gave up.