I flew from Seattle to Boston this past Saturday.
I arrived at the airport a little over an hour ahead of time, as usual, checked in, and proceeded through security to the appointed gate, where I boarded my plane. Routine travel; nothing out of the ordinary.
Maybe five minutes later, a woman appeared at my seat with a bewildered expression: her boarding pass had the same seat assignment as mine. Somewhat out of the ordinary, but not, as the experienced traveler will recognize, an atypical airline screwup.
The woman decided not to make a fuss, and sat in the empty seat next to me. After a few minutes, of course, the passenger with that seat assignment arrived. Flight attendants were summoned to deal with the situation, whereupon closer inspection of the woman’s boarding pass revealed that not only did it have my seat assignment, it didn’t even have her name on it: it had mine.
This passenger – a small, middle-aged Korean woman, not that it matters particularly – was issued a boarding pass at the airline counter with my name (a heavy-stock agent-printed pass, mind you, not one of the flimsies from a self-service kiosk), and then she got through security and onto the airplane with it. She had no boarding pass with her own name, only a printed itinerary.
Anyway, after a few minutes of consideration, flight attendants elected to leave the woman in the seat next to me, and found another seat for the second passenger. This was, from a practical standpoint, not a big deal; there was neither a significant delay nor further trouble. Our flight departed more or less on time.
But: How is it that the airline was able to issue two separate boarding passes for the same traveler? And even more importantly, HOW THE FUCK DID THIS WOMAN GET ALL THE WAY ONTO THE AIRPLANE WITHOUT A VALID BOARDING PASS?
Practical considerations aside, the implications here are, I think it’s fair to say, rather troubling.
So you’ll have to forgive me when, given my first-hand experience of TSA officials being unable to handle the FUCKING BASICS, I react to any assertions of their competence with an aggressively sarcastic eyeroll. Yeah, somebody shows up with something that looks a lot like a bomb HANGING ON THE OUTSIDE OF THEIR CLOTHING, and security springs into action. Way to go. Whoop te fucking doo. Color me confident.