I do the same thing to keep from locking myself out of my car. Have fingers on keys (in right pocket!) while shutting door. But I also have a spare key in that little watch pocket of my jeans, because it’s not infallible.
This is an older car, I’ll bet it’s harder these days (wife’s car won’t lock if keys are in ignition or lights are on).
I get the coffee ready the night before and set the timer so it is ready for me when I wake up. I have to put the water in first, then put the coffee in the filter basket. If for some reason I put the coffee in first, I always forget to add the water second. So then when I wake up in the morning I’ve got an empty pot sizzling away on the warmer. I expect some morning I will come into the kitchen and find shattered carafe shards all over the floor.
At work there are parts of the building that are secured and no cell phones are allowed. About half the time that I need to go back to the secured area, I’ll get all the way to the door then realize I still have my phone, so then I have to walk all the way back to my desk to put it away.
My coat rack is right by the front door of my apartment. I also have an afro wig on top (long story) and several hats that sit on the wig.
At least twice a week, when I come home, it startles me, making me think someone is in my apartment.
Whenever I put a t-shirt on it’s always backwards. I swear it’s my super-power. If I pick up a tshirt and intentionally turn it around first, it will still be backwards. I will frequently check the tag then put on the shirt and it will be backwards.
Yesterday I was amazed that I put on a shirt and I could tell it was not backwards! It was a serious highlight. Then I looked in the mirror and saw it was inside out.
We have this iced tea pitcher with a tupperware-type lid. Twist the lid one way,and the liquid comes out of a wide circular hole. Twist the lid another way and it comes out through narrow slots. Anywhere in between and the lid is blocked - no liquid will come out.
One of my roommates (I don’t know who) always twists the lid to the closed section when they are done. I have no idea why. But the upshot is that I come up in the morning, sleepy and desperate for caffeine, and try to pour myself a glass of tea and nothing comes out.
And I can NEVER remember to twist the lid open first. In my head, the default position is open, and my sleepy self just keeps tilting the pitcher until the tea pours out. It pours out along with the lid and drenches my whole arm, is what it does.
One might think that just one drenching with cold liquid first thing in the morning would teach one to check the friggin’ pitcher. But no, it’s happened several times now.
My one saving grace is that I’m also in the habit of pouring drinks over the sink. So at least I don’t have to get the mop out each time.
I started doing this a few weeks ago. I take a picture of the stove burner and the outlet for the coffee maker. It really helps. I no longer have to do the checking 4 times thing.
Missed the edit window. I do this every. single. time. with t-shirts. It never fucking fails that I put it on backwards.
I harpooned my thigh on our admin assistant’s sharp desk corner so many times that she ordered and installed a childproof safety cover on it.
I have a tow hook screwed into my front bumper for track reasons. It’s essentially a giant steel eyehook that extends about 5" out from the bumper. Here’s the plot:
Oooh, happy, happy warm day! Let’s wax the car, tralalalala FUCK!!! (Shin meets hook).
Five minutes later: Yaay, fun day, pop the hood, yaaa FUCK! AGAIN! (Hook drilled into shin. Again).
Smart Self: let’s just unscrew the hook, we seem to forget it’s there. Dumb Self: nah, we’ll remember this time. Five minutes later: tralalalala, waxin the hood and singing- FUCK!
I’ll need to take the Fifth on this, 'cause all my idiotic stuff is done on purpose! 
I just recently figured out that some of my repeat kitchen accidents are because Mrs. Shark is left-handed. Stuff like pour pitcher lids being the “wrong way” and the microwave opening “backwards” are due to handedness. Side note: when she was a paramedic with FDNY she had a lot of injuries, including a stretcher mechanism that nearly degloved three fingers -she finally figured out that the equipment wasn’t left-hand-friendly.
I think that wins the thread 
!
I once wore a t-shirt backwards for about half a day, thank goodness I didn’t leave the house and it had a pocket that I obviously didn’t miss.
Wait, is the default position for your milk or your beer “OPEN”? Or your soda pop? I would think closed is better, in terms of taste and freshness. And carbonation.
Oh, how about your front door? Or your fly? I think “Closed” should be the default with most things, and your roommate is being considerate.
Like an idiot, I get out of bed every day.
I do this, regularly. When it’s cool weather I put a hoodie on in the mornings. I may go several hours before I look down and notice it is inside out. Usually I just leave that way, I ain’t proud.
I just love this. How sweet of her to do it.
Well, I don’t drink milk or beer, and I don’t share my soda pop. But nevertheless those all have screw caps. If you don’t screw them shut they are open to things falling into them. That can’t happen with the lid on the pitcher, but the pour spot open.
I have this weird tendency to turn left, especially when I’m mentally sorting down my “what am I doing next” list. But very often, I need to turn right to do whatever task is next, and I don’t just stop in the middle of a turn. Instead of a nice sharp 90 degrees to the right, I do a 270 degree pirouette to the left.
I spin around like this way too much.
I never wear a seatbelt in the back seat of a taxi or an Uber. I always realize I didn’t when I get out, and give my self a forehead slap. What makes it even more stupid is that I never forget to do so when I’m driving or when riding in a car with a family member or friend.
“See attachment etc…” on an email, then forgot to attach anything…