How do you report private messages?
This guy should not be a moderator.
Yes. Oh yes. So very much.
Yeah, right. I’m not believing anything you say until it’s past midnight.
I agree. I think you should do it.
You can’t feed him, though.
Yeah, like we’re going to believe you now.
Cite?
(A karyotype will serve nicely. Get all yer minds outta the gutter).
What if he’s in a plane, crossing time zones just as it is turning midnight?
Damn, that movie is underrated.
“Elevator! Sound alarm!”
She got me pretty good. My response was particularly juicy. (No, I did not hit on her).
Of course, you do realize I’ll now be referring to Idle Thoughts as a girl from this point forward, as payment for this misdeed.
As one of the “all members here” contingent, I’d personally like to donate Idle Thought’s apology to me to the Fossbean Home for Delicate People who are Easily Offended.
The Fossbean Home has been helping those people who are emotionally crippled by jokes, wooshes, humor or extremely mild (and slightly lame*) lead a safely sheltered existence since 1887 when Grover Cleveland sent out mustache combs to all female suffragettes and hair pins to all male suffragettes**. This caused vapors and the heebie-jeebies (actual diagnosed cases, mind you–not self-reported heebie-jeebies) in a small but also insignificant portion of the population and thus the Foosbean Home was founded. One of the greatest days in the history of the Fossbean Home was when bubble-wrap was invented. Patrons/clients/[del]inmates[/del] were able to swaddle themselves in bubble-wrap to prevent any slight hint of emotional ouchies.
So, Idle, you might want to save all those apologies for the Fossbean Folks (as they’re often called***) as I’m sure other Dopers might want to donate all the apologies you owe them to the good people at The Fossbean Home.
Dopers–won’t you help and have your Idle Thoughts apology donated to the Fossbean Home too? Let’s try to make some good out of this outrageous and preventable tragedy.
*Sorry Idle, I calls 'em as I sees 'em. It was on a 1-10 scale, 10 being THE ULTIMATE PERFECT PRANK and 1 being a lame-ass fake “Mod Fight” on a message board, about a 4 on the prank index. That’s one point below saying “Pull my finger” and then farting or burping when it’s pulled. Which…actually isn’t that bad, because the “pull my finger” thing is always hilarious and appropriate. (I’m pretty sure Miss Manners said so in one of her books)
**Look it up yourself if you want. It’s right there in the history books.
***But never, EVER to their face. Because “folk” implies “rural” as in “folk art” and therefore they believe you’re claiming they’re not sophisticated.
Heh. I got fooled.
Apology? Seriously?
How have you been harmed? Grow thicker skin.
Reminds me of the customers that feel the need to curse and scream and insult a stranger over the phone because of the insufferable and intolerable situation where their pizza is five minutes late and no, you don’t get it for free.
Some people have delicate little prideful egos and they really don’t like it when someone else wins.
Assuming you’re serious, the same way you would report a post. Click the triangular icon with the exclamation point. I’m sure the mods will give it all the attention it deserves.
This made me spit out my smoothie in surprise laughter. 
Dude, are you serious? I hope so, because that is hi-lar-ious. 
I wonder if the people who are offended by this little harmless prank and took Idle Thoughts’ PM seriously told him (her) what a horrible thing it is to lie about your gender on a message board in response, because I figure this must be some kind of mortal sin to them in comparison.
After all this, how can we know? I’m so confused/lost/unsure.
I have to admit I am a bit upset about this. Not angry, just slightly sad and disappointed. I know I have a thin skin about these sort of things, which is why I don’t do confrontations, in real life or on the Internet - but looks like merely being online is enough to be made a target now.
So Idle Thoughts and everybody else who thinks this was the best of pranks - congratulations for making one more person sad. I’m sure the world is a better place now. 
This made you sad? Wow. I’m so sorry for you. I hope your life improves some day. Seriously. It must be hard to be so easily distressed.
And I for one never considered that Chefguy was serious.
Well, sheeeee-yit.
I got it and fell for it. Good one, Idle Thoughts.