In this threadBen Roethlisberger the noted football Quarterback for the Steelers is cited as a huge asshole because (it is asserted) he does not want to participate or be part of in “make a wish” programs for sick kids.
Assuming for the sake of argument his reluctance to participate in these programs is a fact, is he actually being an asshole or is he fully justified in his decision that he doesn’t want to do this for whatever reason?
Maybe he is ill informed and has little experience of such things and thinks he will be overwhelmed by the emotional impact of hanging around with some sick, possibly dying, little dude?
And then a ten second Google finds this story.
The Freedom High School (Pa.) senior, who has terminal cancer, was invited to attend Game 2 of the NHL playoff series between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh on Sunday at Mellon Arena, and even got to hang out with Mario Lemieux in his suite, along with Steelers chairman Dan Rooney and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.
and later
And Roethlisberger is going to try and get him a visit to a Steelers practice.
So who knows?
He hasn’t shown himself to be a self absorbed jerk. I can understand why someone might have a hard time being around kids who are likely to die.
Roethlisberger may not be a self-absorbed jerk, but he has shown himself to be something of an (overgrown/overpaid) frat boy who doesn’t always exhibit a discernable amount of forward thinking or ability to see the big picture. (See: riding motorcycle without a helmet.) He is also not one of the first five names that come to mind when thinking about Steelers who are charitable.
I’m not sure what his position is vis-a-vis Make a Wish, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t go out of his way to be involved any more than he has to for appearance’s sake.
I’m going to say yes, admitting that I’m in a biased position.
I’m sure it can be emotionally difficult, but if you make a living performing in front of thousands of people, having dinner with a kid or giving him a walkthrough of practice or playing video games with him something really shouldn’t be a big deal. Even if it’s awkward for the celebrity it means a lot more to the child.
There’s a million and one worthwhile charities out there. No one has time, money or energy to support them all in a meaningfull sense. I think it would be petty to object to someone choosing to donate time, money and energy to Habitat for Humanity or God’s Pantry (food shelf) over Make-a-Wish.
Definitely not jerkish behavior in general. What charities a person wishes to support and why are a personal and private matter. The media has no right to judge anyone about this. If a person supports charity X and not charity Y and they do not wish to publicize their support for charity X, that is their business.
In fact, there was a famous dude 2000 years ago who advocated giving alms in private. So there are a lot of people who follow that belief.
I think he’s justified.
Some people just can’t handle a situation like that. (Being around a terminally ill kid.)
They might know they just can’t fake it. Not everyone who is a celebrity is an actor.
I have to say that I do think it shows a sort of personal failing, in the sense that if a dying child’s last wish is to see you personally but you are simply not emotionally equipped to handle it, that highlights a personal weakness that under those circumstances is very unfortunate.
But some people really honestly are not able to handle it. I don’t think that makes them jerks, it just makes them weak. But anyone who would deny a child’s dying wish for any reason other than being emotionally unequipped? Yeah, that person is a big honkin’ jerk.
I agree, but this is not a question of public or financial support. It’s about giving perhaps an hour or two of your time to somebody in dire straits, who is using a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet the person. Scheduling conflicts happen, but if somebody outright refuses to participate with Make A Wish because he ‘can’t handle it,’ I’d say that’s assholish behavior. If a kid and his family can put up with a dangerous or terminal illness, I’d say the celeb in question can probably pretend to be social for a short amount of time without suffering any serious ill effects.
Mixed feelings on this one.
First my time/money/resources are mine and I don’t want anyone telling me how I should use them whether it be charity or anything else.
Second, if you are a public figure, you have to accept that almost anything you do can generate a backlash so you need to make your choices carefully.
Third, having gone thru long term illnesses with family members (but not children) I heard the “I don’t like to see him like that” more times than I care to remember. None of the rest of the family wanted to see the person like that. And, I generally interpreted that as “my short-term comfort is more important than their lonliness”.
It MIGHT be jerkish behavior, but I don’t know nearly enough about Ben Roethlisberger or this particular case to render any kind of intelligent or fair verdict.
MAYBE he’s a selfish SOB who doesn’t care about anyone else… or MAYBE he’s a great guy who gives lots of time and effort to DIFFERENT charities, and just didn’t have time to comply with this particular request.
Don’t be too quick to judge people you don’t know!
I think it’s sad that it seems to be the dying wish of so many children just to hang out with a celebrity. What a waste of a person’s limited time left. It shows you how disproportionately we value entertainers and other media figures.
And it seems to me that a charity that purports to grant dying wishes to boys should primarily be arranging sexual encounters. Anything less than that any pretty much everyone involved is deluding themselves.
Apples and oranges. There’s a huge difference between playing a sport while a huge audience may happen to be observing you and dealing with a person one-on-one. And that’s before factoring in the whole terminally ill angle.
In fact, from comments I saw a little while back in the Celebrity Apprentice thread, this seems to be exactly the problem that Dennis Rodman has. Playing basketball with thousands of spectators in the arena (and possibly millions watching on TV) isn’t a problem for him. But when it came time to sell cupcakes one-on-one on the street, he hid inside the truck with an excuse about not wanting to take attention away from the cupcakes they were selling. As someone who’s quite introverted, I can definitely sympathize, and it’s grossly unfair to assume that someone who performs in public can’t suffer from severe introversion or even social anxiety disorder.
I find your sense of entitlement disgusting. You seem more than happy to deem someone’s behavior as assholish for failing to acquiesce to demands on their time because of their own mental issues.
What makes you think it would be so easy to spend time with a terminally ill child without being significantly affected? Do you think that all celebrities are heartless/unemotional?
None of us do. But this isn’t just about him.
What Guinastasia said is that he refuses to do any Make A Wish related events, not that he was too busy to comply with one request. One’s more understandable than the other. If in theory he does refuse to do these, I’m not sure how anyone would find out - Make A Wish asks kids for two potential wishes in case their first choice doesn’t pan out for some reason, and that ought to prevent the kid from finding out that Big Ben is a jerk (if he is that kind of jerk).
[quote=acsenray[I think it’s sad that it seems to be the dying wish of so many children just to hang out with a celebrity. What a waste of a person’s limited time left. It shows you how disproportionately we value entertainers and other media figures.[/quote]
In a better world, Make A Wish would lecture kids instead of making them happy, I guess. 
They’re not all boys, they’re not all dying, and many of them are little kids, not teenagers.
I guess my point is that in a better world lectures is what would make kids happy! 
Fair enough. But what about the dying teen-aged boys? I remember being that age. I would have sacrificed a limb for sex, and I wasn’t dying. It just felt like it.
I think there was an Onion article about that. There was a dying boy whose wish was to have sex with Charlize Theron.
That’s true.
Much appreciated, but I’m not sure why I care.
I’d like to note here that I’m speaking hypothetically and not necessarily calling Roethlisberger an asshole, because I don’t know if it’s true he refuses to do these things.
That said, how did you determine I’m “more than happy” to call names? Given the circumstances involved, I think people should be able to put their “mental issues” aside to perhaps hang out with a sick child for an hour or two, yes. While it may be difficult, I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
It’s not easy, and I didn’t say it was. However, considering how much this kind of thing can lift the spirits of the child, and the family of the child, and how little it costs the person in question to hang out - even if it’s depressing and hard to face - I’m saying they should do it. If a kid’s family can put up with months or years of being significantly affected by living this kind of life, I think it’s fair to ask the celeb in question to be kind and say hello for an hour or two.