I’ll be roaming the earth as a vampire for as long as possible, thank you very much. Anybody know where I can find a M. Lestat?
Esprix, who always was a night person…
Well, I already have my dress picked out for hell—I’m going with a bias-cut, red satin gown, as it will reflect the flames well, but stand out against the brimstone. I just don’t see velvet or chiffon as “hell” fabrics.
Red spike-heeled shoes, of course. In heaven you’re up to your knees in clouds, so no one can even SEE your shoes—a huge drawback, if you ask me.
I dunno. Most of the people I’ve met who claim they’re going to heaven just don’t seem like they’d be that much fun to hang out with.
Would all the behavioral rules still apply once we get to heaven? Whose rules? (Some Christians say I can drink a beer and dance. Some say I can’t. If they ALL wind up in Heaven, seems like there’s going to be a lot of confusion.)
Heaven is supposed to be a place of bliss. If I’m blissful I don’t care who else is around or what the scenery looks like. Now…where’s that opium den?
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Have you ever broken anything you’ve built? Well then Fuck you too.
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God destroys nothing that is not necessary to destroy. It was all for the greater good.
Where’s my side of FUN!?
Kisses!
Ophy
Ophanim - don’t take him and his grim posts seriously! That’s what he wants! He wants to get a rise out of you! Don’t fall for it!
Yeesh. This is a slightly lame, silly thread. Not to be taken seriously. And no matter how many grim, humorless posts are made here, I refuse to take them seriously. I just find them ludicrous. C’mon and follow my example, Ophanim!
Oh, I wasn’t being serious either. Number one was primarily a joke. Thanks though!
Where’s my side of FUN!?
Kisses!
Ophy
[Moderator Hat ON]
And, as an official note, “Well then Fuck you too” is not appropriate here. We have The Pit for personal insults, if you are so inclined. Thanks.
[Moderator Hat OFF]
Um… What’s so bad about “D”? The way I see it, if you’re reincarnated, you either (i) come back with your accumulated wisdom and knowledge of your past or (ii) come back as a blank slate. Since I’ve often looked back on things I’ve done and thought about how I’d do them differently if I knew then what I know now, option (i) doesn’t seem that bad at all. And with option (ii), what’s not to like? You won’t remember who you are now, and you get to experience a full life again.
I’m with Neuro. “Eternal paradise” sounds like a giant snooze-- I can’t even keep myself entertained over a long weekend, much less eternity. And what good is a perpetually happy existence if you don’t have tribulations to throw eternal bliss into relief once in a while. The angels with sledgehammers thing actually seems brilliant-- sign me up for the First Church of NTG.
Seriously, though, to Yosemitebabe and Wage and those lobbying for Heaven, what sort of existence would I have there? Let’s start with the easy one-- would I have a corporeal existence? That is, would I have arms and legs and walk around Heaven like it’s a celestial Wal-Mart? Could I fly if I wanted to? Would my sore knees of flabby belly continue to exist? Would I be like me at age 25 or me at age 65? Or would I just magically be reconciled to all my various limitations and pysical drawbacks, like I had been dosed up with a load of Holy Prozac, dispensed from the Almighty Pharmacy?
If I do have a physical existence, is daily life like life here? Do I have to buy groceries? I hate buying groceries. Is everything free or do I carry money around? Is there art and culture? Modern art bothers me. I can’t figure out what it’s supposed to mean and that makes me feel stupid when other people around me find meaning in it. Feeling stupid doesn’t make me happy. Hopefully, there is only the kind of art and culture there that I understand and enjoy, although I doubt that other people will really like what I like.
Assuming I don’t continue to have a physical existence, would I at least have self-awareness? Would I perceive myself to exist as an entity, and be able to recognize other entities around me? Would I be able to communicate with them? What happened to the good people here on earth who, for one reason or another, pissed me off? Would I love everyone in Heaven, even if I couldn’t stand them on Earth? Do people in Heaven continue to have opinions and personalities? If so, what happens when people have differences of opinion? How can it be Paradise if people don’t agree with me? How can it be Paradise if I don’t agree with everyone else?
Assuming that I have neither a physical existence nor any self-awareness, what’s the point of bliss? Do I just exist as a big puddle o’love to be smeared around the cosmos like so much grape jelly?
Frankly, it doesn’t really matter what the answers are above, because I just can’t wrap my mind around the concept that Heaven really is “Paradise” in the sense that I understand that term now. Unless life (whatever that means) in Heaven is just like life on Earth except better, I can’t really say that I want to have a part of it, because I can’t fathom how I would react to it.
So thanks for the invite, but I’ll just take anohter ride on the ol’ wheel of reincarnation instead. What’ll it be? A child with Down’s syndrome? Cool. A serial killer? Um…ok. Me, only taller? Why not? Bring it on and let me make of it what I can.
Since I am only human, I cannot fathom what “everlasting bliss” means-I can only conceive heaven in terms of what I happen to like; so again I ask the question: will Heaven contain:
(1) Cold beer (preferably 45 F temp.)
(2) Fried Clams (Ipswitch clams are the best)
(3) Old English Sheepdogs (including my boyhood friend, Shep (RIP))
If these are not available, then I would have to decline an invitation from the Almighty!
I’ll take Reincarnation for $800, Alex!
(Preferably reincarnated as a spoiled house cat - now that’s the life!)
As to whether I’d want to go to heaven if it were proven, I’d first have to ask which version of heaven it was. If salvation is universal, and everyone gets to go, then sure, count me in. If it’s the fundamentalist christian heaven, then no thanks. That heaven will be filled with people like my husband’s ex-wife. Eww. No one I care about will be there. I’d rather hang out in hell with my friends and family. Most of the people I care about are either Jewish, gay, athiests, Wiccans, Catholics or other non-fundie Christians, etc. etc. We’ll all be having a good time in hell, thank you very much.
“The analyst went barking up the wrong tree, of course. I never should have mentioned unicorns to a Freudian.” – Dottie (“Jumpers” by Tom Stoppard)