If I asked you to cut boneless chicken breasts in "strips one inch square"...

I would have assumed you wanted kebab style chunks, and then forgotton how big an inch was, then had a drink, then fucked around some more, then used the wrong cutting board, until I was done and needed to clean up and have another drink.

If you came in and said you didn’t quite get what you wanted, I would have waved the knife at you and mumbled, “oh well, you can’t always get what you want” then I would started singing off key (due to the drinks), “but if you try sometime, you fiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnd - you get what you need!”

If you are lucky, I then do NOT cut myself playing air guitar with the chef’s blade.

I’d have asked for further instruction, but would have defaulted to strips with a 1" x 1"(close) cross section. Because most people get dimensions wrong, but they usually know strips from cubes. Also because it’s possible to do more cutting later, but not possible to do less cutting later.

I’d have also wanted to know if you wanted the strips cut longways down the breasts, or across them. Or on a diagonal, along the grain.

I once asked the mister to slice lettuce finely so that we could have it in tacos. Apparently “slice lettuce finely” means “cut it in big honking 3” wide chunks". I opened my mouth to point out the silliness of this, but got a venomous glare. So I said nothing, not even when he couldn’t fit the lettuce pieces into his tacos. And he’s an engineer.

It’s amazing how some people are just really bad at cutting food, even when they’re extremely intelligent in other areas. I was on a class picnic in grad school, and the professor had brought a sizeable amount of food. Lots of tasty cheeses, meats, fruits, etc. I unwrapped the meats, and had a student “cut it into slices for sandwiches”.

The student cut 3/4" slabs of filet off that thing. It’s okay if you’ve never done raw food prep or may not be prepared to anticipate strips when someone says “squares” - but surely you’ve had a sandwich before, right?

It’s amazing what people don’t see when it’s always been Someone Else’s Problem.

I woulda given you cubes. I mean, how do you even cut down the thickness of a chicken breast, anyway? Do you get chicken breasts that are 2" thick anyway?

1" wide strips, you get strips. 1" square, you get cubes (approximately). 1" cubes, you get cubes (approximately).

I would have been confused by the instructions. “Strips aren’t square”, I would have said to myself. Also, when you want strips, you should say whether they should be cut with the grain or across it. I would have guessed across, and apparently that would have been wrong :slight_smile:

I would have been confused, but you would have gotten squares.

Yeah, I once had a friend who asked what he could do, and I said, “Cut this lettuce really fine.” I got green slush.

I would have called you back, because WTF? If I didn’t get you, it would depend on how much I knew about the recipe - if I expected strips, I would have figured that was the part you got wrong. If I didn’t expect strips, you would have gotten cubes.

I’d go out and buy a bag of chicken cubes.

Am I the only one that would have cut one inch strips, all set to be cubed if necessary?

Instead of being upset about then not having anything to make kebabs with, you could have just threaded the cubes onto the skewers jammed up against each other like one long strip…they would then just be “Pre-cut into bite-size pieces” Strips!

That’s exactly what I ended up doing, though it did take a long time. I made these for a large party. I must have had at least thirty full bamboo skewers or more. Instead of putting two strips on each, I put maybe fourteen chunks.

A quarter inch thick breasts? Man, you got some anorexic chickens wherever you’re at. (Are you confusing it perhaps with chicken tenders?)

I would have completely ignored your confusing instructions and used a metal spatula to cut the chicken into randomly sized ugly pieces. :stuck_out_tongue: And I would do this in the hopes that you either learn to give more specific instructions or find someone with more patience to cut up your chicken and be yelled at. :smiley:

You would have gotten nothing from me. With bad instructions I just do nothing at all.

Cubes. Sorry.

Another person who would have given you chunks. I don’t take the thickness of the meat into account because you’re not cutting that. So a square cut to me implies you’re cutting length and width.

I maybe would have texted you back:

Not meas. squat. Strips or cubes?

Then, I probably would have ignored your reply and cut them whichever way made sense to me, which would have been strips if I thought you were making some sort of Indian style yakitori or cubes if I thought you were making kebobs. Sometimes, I just get nasty when I’m stressed.