If I Only Had A Gun: stories that would be completely different if people were armed

Batman’s the most brutal character of all. He doesn’t refrain from killing because he respects life. He does it because he enjoys endlessly tormenting his targets and he doesn’t want them to escape him through death.

High Priest: You shall smuggle the mummy of Kharis into the United States. On the next full moon, you shall use the tana leaves to bring the mummy to life. Kharis shall destroy the infidels.

Acolyte: You want them whacked? I have a cousin in Chicago who owes me a favor.

True story.

I used to work with a guy who was a gun nut. He was telling me how he was always armed. Not just in public; he carried a gun at all times in his home in case somebody broke into his house.

So I made what I thought would be a joke and asked him what would happen if somebody broke into his house while he was taking a shower.

He told me he was prepared for that. He had built a shelf in his shower up above where the water came down where he kept his gun while showering.

Jesus Christ: “Crucify this!” BAM! BAM! BAM!

Ah, the Shower Rapist Burglar. Ok, if I shouldn't _shoot_ the intruder, then...? - #452 by Scumpup I still :rofl:

There was an episode of Stargate SG-1 that poked some fun at this idea. Jack O’neil was serving as a military consultant on science fiction show and a producer was have an argument with a writer over how best to deal with an alien threat. The producer balked at the solution because it was expensive to film and the writer went on about how not using the gun was important to the character’s development. A frustrated producer turns to O’Neill and asks how they should deal with the alien threat and he replies, “Just shoot it.”

Kramer vs Kramer would have actually been an interesting movie.

Home Alone, but the kid would likely have accidentally shot himself …

Lauren Boebert? Here? Well I’ll be damned

He didn’t with the BB gun,

I can’t disagree. One of the few channels I follow on Youtube is “The SCIENCE!” analyzes the science or physics going on in a lot of video game assumptions, and is one of my go-tos when I want to listen to a fun rant.

Makes a very good case that Batman is actually murdering a metric ton of Mooks, certainly in this game, and almost certainly in his day to day efforts. Because outside of fiction, we all know hard it is to knock someone out (especially if they stay knocked out for more than a moment) without having caused major injury!

Being the gun nut I am, I just had to look up the Browning M37; it’s ahistorical as it was developed ten years post-WW2 (although that might have been a M1919 Browning mislabled). Not to even mention it was far too heavy for even a berserk killer to wield manually.

Cujo by Stephen King.

Shattered by Dick Francis. Two police officers in Britain are confronting a woman threatening civilians with molten glass on the end of a long spear, more or less. She kills one of the officers and the other has to run for help to get officers with ranged weapons.

Now that was satisfying.

Gawd, I hate that movie.

Bambi Meets Godzilla

I dunno; Godzilla doesn’t need a gun, and Bambi was showing extremely poor situational awareness.

Can’t believe you didn’t get any love for this effort…

Dan

I enjoyed it.

Yes, pretty smooth…

Dan