Ah yes, Commander Kruge was on that show.
Latkes, Sir, are potato pancakes.
Are they substantially different from potatough pancakes as made by my Prussian immigrant great grandma? I really don’t know how she made them taste so good. Mine taste like poe-tay-toes
Well there is garlic, onions and oil…lots of oil. 
Yeah, grease and oils make good tasting stuff.
Any ones gots a recipe for me to try? For any of the stuff mentioned in this thread.
Hummus.
Put chickpeas, garlic, olive oil, sesame oil, camino in the blender. Some folks insist on sesame seed paste, but it’s too expensive for me.
Cabbage rolls.
Mix some garlic and your favorite seasoning with some ground beef. Microwave cabbage leaves into suitable softness. Wrap them around the meat. Put 'em in a pot with tomato sauce, some lemon and brown sugar. Cover and simmer until done.
That’s easy! I can do that and I’m only a redshirt!
Thanks
The ‘vegetable things’ are probably kishka/kishkeh, but I don’t know what sauce you’re referring to. I’ve invariably seen kishka served in chulent, a long-cooked stew of meat, beans, barley, usually potatoes, and some flavoring agents. I don’t make kishka, and neither does anybody else I know - everybody buys it pre-made to plop in their chulents. I’m not a kishka fan myself, but my chulent recipe is available on request.
I think gefilte is unfairly maligned, in that most people only ever eat the vile, vile stuff from the jar. Most of what I’ve eaten is made the cheating way, by buying frozen pre-made loaves and cooking them at home, and that’s infinitely better than the stuff in the jars. Homemade is a huge fuss (I’ve never bothered), but it’s tasty.
GilaB’s Dad’s Latkes
6 medium potatoes, peeled
1 medium onion, top removed, leave the root end on as you peel it
2 tablespoons matza meal (finely crushed breadcrumbs would probably be fine)
1 egg, lightly beaten
Salt to taste (bearing in mind that potatoes are bland and need a lot of salt)
Pepper to taste (“but don’t be weak on the pepper” - Dad)
Vegetable oil for frying
Grate potatoes and onion, using the finer side of a box grater (Dad is a hand-grating purist, claiming that it’s not the same without a bit of thumb skin) or the fine grate on a food processor. (Strings of potato are to be avoided.) Mix grated vegetables with matza meal, egg, salt, and pepper. Do not let stand more than 1/2 hour before frying.
Fill the pan with ‘more than enough’ oil (about half an inch deep) and heat ‘to sizzling’ on about medium; do not rush this. Drop in a latka-sized dollop (about two tablespoons) for your ‘test latka,’ which will check your seasoning levels and let the oil get properly hot. Turn when the latka doesn’t stick. When it gets golden brown on both sides, briefly drain on paper towels before eating as soon as humanly possible; it should be crunchy on the outside, and creamy in the middle. Adjust seasoning, then make the rest of the latkes in shifts, being sure not to crowd the pan. Do not try to make these in advance - it’s just not the same otherwise.
Yes, please.
Mrs. Plant and my nine year old step daughter eat it heated from the jar. The stepdaughter drank chocolate milk with it. :rolleyes:
GilaB’s Chulent
“The best chulent in the world.” - Mr. GilaB, who would happily eat this and nothing else for Saturday lunch every week of the year if I let him, including during August.
Serves 4
Note that this (and the whole family of related dishes that evolved in Jewish communities around the world) is intended to cook from Friday afternoon until Saturday lunch, providing a hot lunch on the Sabbath when one can’t otherwise cook. There are a zillion variations on this, and everybody I know has their own recipe. Mine is not exactly traditional, although it’s based on my mother’s very traditional version.
1/4 cup dry red beans (I usually use kidney), rinsed and picked over
1/4 cup dry white beans (I usually use cannelini; I don’t like chick peas or limas here), rinsed and picked over
1/4 cup pearl barley, wheat berries, or a mixture (barley is traditional, wheat berries give more chew)
1 medium onion, diced
3-4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3 medium boiling-friendly potatoes, like Red Bliss or Yukon Golds, peeled and cut into large chunks; you can replace one potato with a sweet potato or white turnip if you like
1 pound stew-friendly beef, in chunks: flanken is traditional, and best, but kosher butchers charge insane prices for it because of that, so I usually use chuck stew meat. I tried something labeled ‘lamb stew’ this past week and it was good, but that’s not the classic option. A beef neck bone adds collagen, which is always welcome if you’re using otherwise boneless meat.
1/4 cup ketchup
2-3 cups of chicken or beef stock, preferably homemade, but I will confess this is the only time I ever use canned stock for anything
1 bay leaf, or: TOTALLY NOT TRADITIONAL, and unique to my chulent as far as I know: tie 1 bay leaf, 2 inches cinnamon stick, 4 whole cloves, 1-2 star anise into a cheesecloth bag. (This makes the whole shebang much more flavorful, but for the more authentic experience, skip the spices the first time you make it.)
Salt to taste (may not be necessary if your stock is salty)
Black pepper to taste
Combine all in a slow cooker about 20-24 hours before you plan on eating it. Add enough water that you’ll end up with a fairly thick, non-soupy product the next day; you want less liquid than you usually have in a stew, without it burning. I can’t be more specific, because slow cookers vary, and you have to know yours. (I got a new one this past fall, and ratcheted down the water volume each week until I hit the right amount.) Stir well, cover the meat with other stuff if you can, put the whole thing on low, and leave it there for a long, long time.
It’s very flexible. The cooking time can vary, although it smells ‘raw’ to me for the first ten or so hours, so let it go for longer than that. I go to sleep after that, and don’t smell it again until the morning, when it smells like it should, so I can’t be more precise. Probably 15-16 hours would be enough, although I’ve never cooked one for that little.
Everybody I know has their own secret ingredient (lots of hot peppers, soy sauce, molasses, Coke, beer, etc.), so experiment at will. I recently ran out of my regular beans and threw in whatever I had around (black-eyed peas, adzuki beans, and some split favas), and the favas in particular were amazing, so try different beans. Most people don’t even measure their ingredients here, but I am particular about that, and have a more consistent chulent than most because of it.
Thanks, GilaB!
Har har har. 
Thanks, guys (and esp. GilaB). I will try that recipe very soon. More recipes would be most welcome!
Teriyaki Chicken with Soy Vay? 
Another classic product name. But it’s no joke. Their Wasabiyaki sauce is awesome.
The only drink you can wash it down with is He’Brew, The Chosen Beer.
Aunt Maxine’s Chopped Liver
Heat up a big frying pan. Cook a pound or so of chicken livers and a big sliced onion in your saved schmaltz until the livers are tender and the onion is brown. (You can use butter if you didn’t save your schmaltz, and you might want to start the onion first to get it nice and dark without overcooking the livers.) Meanwhile, hard boil and peel a couple of eggs.
Put the livers, onions and eggs into a food processor (Aunt Maxine used a food mill, but I think that makes the texture too fine) and buzz until coarsely chopped. Add salt, pepper, and a splash of cognac. Process briefly to combine, and taste for seasoning. Chicken livers need more salt than you think they might.
Serve with crackers, and try not to hog the whole bowl. It’s not very good for your body, but it is mighty good for your soul. Even my daughter, the liver-hater, enjoys it.
Try the Smaltz if you have some guts.
Expect to be mauled and pawed and used as a sacrifice for one of their rituals; Jewish Food Festivals are notorious guises for getting “lambs” as they call them, though only one or two since they have to keep up appearances, but they generally go after the lone ones, so go with a group.
Actually, I can’t back that up, but I heard it on Fox News.
Mahtzo ball soup, brisket, and challah are the big items (i.e. those that go first) at the Jewish food fests I’ve been to, but if they have gefilte fish I’m going to get some since I’ve never tried it. (What’s interesting about the Montgomery AL temple [for a small southern city Montgomery has a surprisingly large Jewish community] is the mish-mash of NYC, European and southern accents among congregation members.)
Actually, rural southerners, like our Scots Irish and poor Brit ancestors, have been eating that for years, only we call it "drippins’. The old people knew when I was little treated them like a meat substitute- they were from the day when you needed fat and cholesterol and would put them in the ice box and serve them on bread when they congealed.
(I think I mentioned on here at some point that when I gave my mother a George Foreman grill her favorite aspect was how well it caught the drippins’.)
As far as kosher substitutes for bacon, no one’s mentioned turkey bacon.
Mrs. Plant, World’s Most Jewish Person and I eat it.
Turkey bacon is surprisingly hard to find kosher. It’s frustrating. I’ve heard that the best substitute for pig bacon is goose bacon, but that you’ve got to cure yourself, since it certainly isn’t available commercially.
Maybe the cost varies regionally, but in my Expensive Manhattan Supermarket, the last jar of tahini I bought was $4.09 for half a kilo of the stuff, which has lasted me for over a year. You only need a couple of tablespoons for a batch of chumus.
For what it’s worth, although all the recipes I’ve posted here have been The Most Ashkenazi Food Ever, that’s not really how I cook. This past Shabbos lunch, for example, we had challah (see below), this citrus salad done as composed appetizers, chulent, roasted beets and sweet potatoes with a lime-jalapeno dressing, roasted brussels sprout halves with garlic and nutmeg, and Mr. GilaB’s favorite salad, lettuce and chives Korean style, with orange blossom chiffon cake and strawberry sauce for dessert. Please don’t get the idea that everybody who keeps kosher is subsisting on Manischewitz, gefilte fish, and brisket 24/7.
GilaB’s No-Knead Egg Challah
Adapted from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day
Makes four pounds of dough, which is two big loaves plus a small loaf, or sixteen rolls. Can be halved/doubled as desired. Gets raves and recipe requests from people who’ve eaten challah twice weekly for their entire lives.
1.5 tablespoons granulated yeast
1 tablespoon salt
1.5 cups warm water (just above body temperature)
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup canola/other vegetable oil
3/4 cup honey, or a tablespoon or two less if you prefer your challah less sweet
6.25 cups bread flour, or 6.5 cups all-purpose
Stir together yeast, salt, and water in a large bowl (when risen, this just about fills my two-gallon baking bowl). Add eggs, oil, and honey, and stir well. Mix in flour until just incorporated - do not knead. Cover with a clean dishtowel and set aside in a warm place until it collapses on top when you smack the side of the bowl lightly. (That’s about 2.5-3 hours if I just leave it on my (fairly cool) kitchen countertop, 1.5-2 hours if I put it in the oven on ‘Warm,’ the lowest possible setting, which does not require a potholder when I take the bowl out.) Refrigerate for at least one hour, or for up to three days; it’ll get more fermented and sourdough-y the longer you leave it in the fridge, which is not my favorite but some people like it.
For a large loaf, remove about 1.5 pounds (about 40% of the total volume if you made a full recipe), flour it heavily (the dough is sticky), and make a six-stranded braid. (I learned how to do it from this video, but be warned that it takes a bit of practice for this to come naturally.) Three-stranded braids are easier, but not traditional, and tend to come out too skinny. There are various different common ways to make rolls, but I can’t find a good video online. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Allow challahs to rise for 45-50 minutes if the dough was only refrigerated for 1 hour, or for 1 hour fifteen minutes if the dough was refrigerated for significantly longer than that. Brush all over with egg wash (1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water.) If you like, sprinkle with sesame seeds or poppy seeds; we like cumin seeds, which is a very Sefardi topping on my very Ashkenazi challahs, but it goes very well with chulent (see upthread.) Bake for 30 minutes, or until it doesn’t indent when you push on it. Error on the side of underbaking - this dries out easily. Cool completely, then seal inside zip-sealing bags. (Regular plastic bags let it dry out.) Large loaves don’t really fit well inside 1-gallon bags, and I’ve only ever seen the two gallon size (marketed specifically for challahs!) in Jewish stores, but if you find some, grab them.