If Dylan Thomas were a rabbi, he might have written “Do Not Go Gentile Into That Good Night.”
If Oscar Wilde were gay, 
he might have written “The Importance Of Being In Ernest.”
If Edgar Allen Poe were a Puritan Minister, he might have written “Hells Bells.”
If Edna St. Vincent Millay were a libertine, she might have written “I Insert My Candle At Both Ends.”
You get the idea. I’m sure there are minds out there more fertile than mine,
If Robert Heinlein were a depression-era Okie farmer, he might have written “I Will Fear No Weevil.”
If Robert Frost had worked for the Highway Department, he would’ve written, “The Road Not Paved.”
If Emily Dickinson had been a White House intern, she would’ve written, “I Heard a Fly Open and I Lied.”
I know, they suck. 
If Elton John and Bernie Taupin were guilt ridden paedophiles they may have written Don’t Let Your Son Go Down on Me.
Not at all. Yours and Shoshana’s are just what I had in mind. In fact a twist on The Road Not Taken was in my queue of stuff for this thread. I’ll skip that one and add another Frost:
If Robert Frost had been a computer tech he might have written “Mending Firewall.”
Thanks, DesertGeezer! Yours was good too.
“Something there is that doesn’t love a DOD firewall.”
If TS Eliot had been obsessed with Washington Irving he might have written “The Legend Of The Sleepy Hollow Men.”
Nice!
If Milton were a dentist, he’s have written “Paradise Flossed.”
If Longfellow were a hairdresser, he might have written “The Midnight Ride of Paul Mitchell.”
Regarding the OP, I’ve been told by a lit professor (no cite) that in Victorian times, “earnest” was a slang term for “homosexual,” which of course puts a brand-new spin (yet another one!) on the play.
If William Blake had been a golf enthusiast he might have writte, “Tyger! Tyger! burning bright, on the tour thou didst all right!”
If Sylvia Plath had been on X, she might have written “Wow I love my life”
If Elizabeth Barrett Browning had worked in an assay office, she might have written “…let me weigh the count.”
I know everybody hates this thread, but even if no one else wants to play I have a couple more to get off my chest.
If Samuel Taylor Coleridge had been a restaurant critic he might have written: “waiters, waiters everywhere, and no coffee here to drink…dammit!”
If Rudyard Kipling had been an unsuccessful gambler he might have written: “If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch and toss…
Your wife’ll probably give you hell when you get home.”
If Thomas Gray had owned a chicken restaurant he might have written: “The paths of glory lead but to the gravy.”
Okay, I guess I’m done now…unless someone else takes it up.
If John Steinbeck had been a ventilation tech, he might have written “The Grates of Draft”.
If Lewis Carroll had been a French travel agent, he might have written “Allez in Wonderland”.
If Fydyor Dostoevsky had been a fan of subway musicians, he might have written “Notes from the Underground”.
If John Keats had been a fan of Reverend Lovejoy from The Simpsons, he might have written “On First Looking Into Homer’s Chaplain.”
Ahem.