heartbeat, it’s a lovebeat
and a lovebeat is a new vibration oh
heartbeat, it’s a lovebeat
and when we meet it’s a new sensation…
runs off to vomit
and who remembers this loudon wainright the third classic?
crossing the highway late last night
he shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
he didn’t see the station wagon car
the skunk got squashed and there you are
you got your dead skunk in the middle of the road
dead skunk in the middle of the road
dead skunk in the middle of the road, stinkin’ to high heaven…
Muskrat, muskrat candlelight
Doin’ the town and doin’ it right
In the evenin’
It’s pretty pleasin’
Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And Sammy’s so skinny
Muwha-ha-ha! I’m having fun with this! Fenris, I knew if anybody else would get it, it would be you. So I had to get there first.
*There’s a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes.
Now there’s a girl in this harbor town
And she works laying whiskey down
They say, “Brandy, fetch another round,”
She serves them whiskey and wine.
The sailors say, “Brandy, you’re a fine girl…”*
Not enough? How about (and this one’s gonna hurt)…
*We were very happy–
Well, at least I thought we were.
Can’t somebody tell me what’s got into her?
A house, a home a family–
And a man who loves her so.
Who’d believe she’d leave us
To join the burlesque show?
Oh, say has anybody seen my Sweet Gypsy Rose?*
Spoons dives back into his LPs and 45s. Who knows what horrors he will find next? Muwha-ha-ha! 
What? No mention of the even-more-vile ‘Mandy’?
Mandy, you came and you gave without taking;
But I sent you away…
(too lazy to repeat any more of the dreck)
and - as sung by “Vera Lynn with Arthur Young at the Novachord”:
We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where,
Don’t know when.
But, we’ll meet again some sunny day…
(you make remember it from the close of 'Dr. Strangelove… etc.)
and, by the Mills Brothers:
You always hurt the one one you love
The one you shouldn’t hurt at all.
So if I broke your heart last night
It’s because I love most of all.
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it 'til the petals fall…
Don’t make me use “The Teddy Bear’s Picnic”…
:wally
Did I hear a request???
I remember all my life…
Rainin’ down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Something something
Oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without takin
But I sent you away
Oh Mandy
You kissed me and stopped me from shakin
And I need you today
Oooooohhhhhhhhhh, Mandy…
OH DEAR GOD PIECES OF MY GREY MATTER HAVE BEEN TAKEN UP BY THIS CRAP!!!
“Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree…It’s been three long years, do you still want me?” And alternately, you may let me know by the following method: “whoh mah darlin’ , knock! three! times! on the ceiling if you want meeeee…”
By the way, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want me …unless…unless…you were infected with…
“WHOH WHOH WHOH CANDIDA!..”
73 men sailed her
From the San Francisco bay
Got off of their ship
And here’s what they had to say:
Ride, Captain, Ride
Upon your mystery ship
To a place far away
That others might hve missed…
anybody else figure out that they were talking about the USS Pueblo (spy ship captured by N. Korea)?
crew: 73
home port: SF
Mystery ship = spy ship
‘had’ to say = forced confessions
(no. HH does NOT use excessive quantities of foil)
As I was walking down the street one day
A pretty lady looked at me and said her diamond watch had stopped cold dead…
And I said…
Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is
Does anybody really care?
If so I can’t imagine why
We’ve all got time enough to die…
There’ll be no strings to bind your hands
Not if my love can’t bind your heart
There’s no need to take a stand
For it was I who chose a start
I saw no need to take me home
I’m old enough to face the dawn
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away from me
Maybe the sun’s light will be dim,
And it won’t matter anyhow.
If morning’s echoes says we’ve sinned,
Well, it was what I wanted now.
And if we’re victims of the night,
I won’t be blinded by the light.
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away –
I won’t beg you to stay, with me (me)
Through the tears, of the day, of the years – baby, baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling
Just call me angel of the morning baby
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling…
I blocked the path of his retreat
He turned and stepped into the street
A dozen guns spit fire and lead
A moment later he lay dead
The town began to shout and cheer
Nowhere was there shed a tear For Ringo
Ringo
The story spread throughout the land That I had beaten Ringo’s hand
And it was just the years they say
That made me put my guns away
But on his grave they can’t explain
The tarnished star above the name Of Ringo
Ringo
Ringo
- “Ringo” by Lorne Greene (yes, I have it - * In French*)
FENRIS, RICO, WITCH (and all other pretenders)
I will give you the rest of tonight to re-group,
"One trillion bottles of beer on the wall, one trillion bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, nine hundred and ninety nine billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall!
Nine hundred and ninety nine billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall! Nine hundred and ninety nine billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, nine hundred and ninety nine billion, nine hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall!"
Continue henceforth.
Groan I think this one takes the cake… :sickened smiley:
OK, HappyHeathen…I’ll admit that last round hurt (“Angel of the Morning”? You sick bastard)
But how 'bout
She wrecked the car and she was so sad
And so afraid that I’d be mad
And what the heck
Though I pretended to be
I guess you could say
That she could see through me
And hugged my neck.
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin’ needlessly
In the middle of a day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away
And honey, I miss you and I’m bein’ good
And I’d love to be with you if only I could
I am a lineman for the cooounnntyyyyyyyyyyy
Cryin’ on my pillow, lonely in my bed
Then I heard a voice beside me, and she softly said
Wonder is your night light, magic is your dream
And as I held her, she said see what I mean
I said what? She said oo-oo-oo-wee
I said alright! She said, love me love me love me
Undercover angel, midnight fantasy
I’ve never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Undercover angel, answer to my prayer
You made me know that there’s a love for me
Out there, somewhere
THe only problem being that I don’t consider this stuff ‘bad’. I’ll take cheerful bubblegum music over Pink Floyd and other soi-disant ‘serious’ bands 10 times out of 10.
Take THAT!
Jonothan…i’m so with ya there bud!
Precious and few are the moments we two can share
and if i cant find my way back home
it just wouln’t be fair
'cos precious and few are the moments we two can shaaaare:p
JONATHON - :wally
WITCH - :wally for giving aid and comfort to the wuss (Wichita Lineman, OTOH is commendable)
FENRIS - good effort!
now:
There’s an old Australian stockman lying, dying. He gets himself up
onto one elbow and 'e turns to his mates, who are all gathered around and 'e says:
Watch me wallabies feed, mate
Watch me wallabies feed,
They’re a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallabies feed
Altogether now!
CHORUS:
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool
Ah, don’t go acting the fool, Curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
‘n’ take me koala back, Jack
Take me koala back
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac
So take me koala back
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
Let me abos go loose, Lew
Let me abos go loose
They’re of no further use, Lew
So let me abos go loose
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
And mind me platypus duck, Bill
Mind me platypus duck
Ah, don’t let 'im go running amok, Bill
Just mind me platypus duck
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
Play your didgeridoo, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Ah, like, keep playin’ 'til I shoot thru, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I’m dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
And that’s it hangin’ on the shed!!
Altogether now!
(CHORUS)
On a morning from a Bogart movie
In a country where they turn back time
You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre
Contemplating a crime
She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running
Like a watercolour in the rain
Don’t bother asking for explanations
She’ll just tell you that she came
In the year of the cat
She doesn’t give you time for questions
As she locks up your arm in hers
And you follow 'till your sense of which direction
Completely disappears
By the blue tiled walls near the market stalls
There’s a hidden door she leads you to
These days, she says, I feel my life
Just like a river running through
The year of the cat
She looks at you so coolly
And her eyes shine like the moon in the sea
She comes in incense and patchouli
So you take her, to find what’s waiting inside
The year of the cat
Well morning comes and you’re still with her
And the bus and the tourists are gone
And you’ve thrown away your choice and lost your ticket
So you have to stay on
But the drumbeat strains of the night remain
In the rhythm of the new-born day
You know sometime you’re bound to leave her
But for now you’re going to stay
In the year of the cat
:rolleyes: