What about:
Hey there Little Red Riding Hood
You sure are looking good
You’re everything a big, bad wolf could want
OUWWWWWWWW
By the time I get to Pheonix,
She’ll be rising…
If I had a mind to
I wouldn’t want to think like you
And if I had time to
I wouldn’t want to talk to you
{Refrain}
Oh, I don’t care what you do
I wouldn’t want to be like you
If I was high class
I wouldn’t need a buck to pass
And if I was a fall guy
I wouldn’t need no alibi
{Refrain}
Back on the bottom line
Diggin’ for a lousy dime
If I hit a mother lode
I’d cover anything that showed
{Refrain}
Oh, I don’t care what you do
I wouldn’t wanna
I wouldn’t want to be like you, no
I wouldn’t want to be like you
Yeah, yeah, ooh
(Has anyone thought of doing the old Steve Allen routine and doing dramatic readings of these lyrics?)
alright!
This one is so ugly, I had to turn it off:
(by Brotherhood of Man)
There’s nowhere in the world that I would rather be
Than with you my love
And there’s nothing in the world that I would rather see
Than your smile my love
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I
And if the world about you falls apart my love
Then I’ll still be here
And if the going gets too hard along the way
Just you call, I’ll hear
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together, you and I
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We’ll be together, together…
(YOU! - up against the wall!)
how come no one’s done Wings yet?
Won’t come back from dead man’s cuuuurve…
Q: What do you call a dog with wings?
A: Linda McCartney
(sorry, it’s not nice to make fun of the dead…)
How about this truly inspired lyric?
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They’re meaningless and all that’s true
<bad comedian> I got a million of 'em! </bad comedian>
re: the idea of bad music…one man’s bad is another’s childhood memory. 
Henceforth:
Blown 'round by the wind
thrown down in a spin
I gave you love,
I thought that we
had made it to the top
I gave you all I have to give
why did it have to stop?
You’ve blown it all sky high
by telling me a lie
without a reason why…
you’ve blown it all skyyyyyy hiiiiiiiigh
My vote is for BAAAAAD!
Ho, ho, ho
It’s magic you know
Never believe, it’s not so
It’s magic, you know
Never believe, it’s not so
Never been awake
Never seen a day break
Leaning on my pillow in the morning
Lazy day in bed
Music in my head
Crazy music playing in the morning light
I love my sunny day
Dream of far away
Dreaming on my pillow in the morning
Never been awake
Never seen a day break
Leaning on my pillow in the morning light
Ho, ho, ho
It’s magic, you know
Never believe it’s not so
It’s magic, you know
Never believe, it’s not so
He was born in Oklahoma
His wife’s name is Betty Jo Thelma Liz.
He’s not responsible for what he’s doing;
His mother made him what he is.
And it’s up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell.
Well, you know, he sure likes to drink that Lone Star beer
And he chases it down with that Wild Turkey bourbon liquor.
He got a ‘57 GMC pick ‘em up truck with a gun rack
And a “I’d Rather Be A Roper Than A Doper” bumper sticker.
And it’s up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell.
M is for the mud flaps you gave me for my pick-up truck
O is for the oil I put in my pick-up truck, drain it out, and put grease on my hair,
T is for Tolly Parton,
H is for Haggard
E is for El Paso and
R is for REDNECK!
And it’s up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell.
And it’s up against the wall redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well.
And he’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks
Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell.
Having my baby,
what a lovely way of saying how much you love me.
Having my baby,
what a lovely way of saying what you’re thinking of me.
I can see it
Your face is glowing
I can see it in your eyes
I’m happy in knowing…
That your having my baby,
you’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doing to you.
Having my baby, you’re a woman in love and I love what’s going through you.
The need inside you
I see it showing
Oh, the seed inside you baby do you feel it growing.
Are you happy in knowing…
FENRIS - I KNOW you would have thought of it… EVENTUALLY 
For that matter I’ve played a lot of these songs. Not as a DJ…with a guitar!
Bad, my ass.
Well I was driving down I-95 the other night,
when somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn’t going to do any good to get mad,
so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this…
Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you’re an asshole tonight.
Yes you’re an A-S-S-H-O-L-E, and don’t you try to blame it on me,
you deserve all the credit, you’re an asshole tonight.
You were an asshole yesterday, you’re an asshole tonight,
and I’ve got a feeling, you’ll be an asshole the rest of your life.
And I was talking to your mother, just the other night,
I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said “yes, I think you’re right”.
And all your friends are assholes, 'cause you’ve known them your whole life,
and somebody told me, you’ve got an asshole for a wife.
Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you’re an asshole tonight.
Midnight at the Oasis
Put your camel to bed
Oh! it’s nice to be with you
I love all the things you do
I’d like to teach the world to sing
in perfect harmony
Truely awful dreck anly requires one sentence to infect your brain.
My eyes adored you…
'Though I never laid a hand on you, my eyes adored you…
Like a million miles away from me you couldn’t see how I adored you
So close… so close and yet so far…
Yeah, we got a great big convoy, rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a great big convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight?
C’mon and join our convoy, ain’t nuthin gonna get in our way
We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy across the USA!
Convoy…convoy…
Well, the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin’ home? Son, I don’t know when
But we’ll get together then… you know we’ll have a good time then…
Reunited and it feels so good…
I’ve got some hot stuff, baby…
Love you inside and out
You can ring my bell… ring my bell!
Bad girls (toot toot… beep beep!) Talkin’ 'bout some bad girls
I think I want to live the sporty life!
Good times!
Muh…muh…muh…my Sharona!
Sad eyes, turn the other way
Don’t stop 'til you get enough…
You have to believe we are magic, nothing can stand in our way…
Sailing, takes me away…
Upside down, boy you turn me…
And another one bites the dust!
Whew.
- Rick
A B C , It’s easy as
1 2 3 , as simple as
do re mi, A B C, 1 2 3
baby you and me girl.
A B C it’s easy, it’s like counting up to 3
singing simple melodies
that’s how easy love can be
singing simple melodies
1 2 3 baby you and me.
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I’ll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You’ve got a friend in me
Ben, you’re always running here and there
You feel you’re not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don’t like what you find
There’s something you should know
You’ve got a place to go
I used to say
I and me
Now it’s us
Now it’s we
I used to say
I and me
Now it’s us
Now it’s we
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don’t listen to a word they say
They don’t see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I’m sure they’d think again
If they had a friend like Ben
Like Ben
Like Ben
:rolleyes:
As the snow flies
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’
A poor little baby child is born
In the ghetto
And his mama cries
cause if there’s one thing that she don’t need
it’s another hungry mouth to feed
In the ghetto…
(yes, I DO need to find work)
Life is a rock
Garden Party
Chick-a-boom
Billy, Don’t be a Hero
Chevy Van
Rice is Nice
Jean
The Night Chicago Died
Master Jack
Which way you Going, Billy
Incense and Peppermint
Last Song
It Never Rains in California
One Tin Soldier
(Butterfly, my butterfly
though I know
you must be free
Butterfly
Don’t flutter by
Stay a little while with me) *
Suzanne
Midnight at the Oasis
Seasons in the Sun
(I like black and white
(Dreaming black and white)
You like black and white
Run run away
See the cameleon
(Lying there in the sun)
All thanks to everyone
Run run away, hey!)
Green Tambourine
The Rain, the Park, and Other Things
(S, K, O O
B, Y, D, O O
Oh oh
Oh oh )
W-O-L-D
Never Been to Me
Mac Arthur Park
Don’t Pull Your Love
Run Joey Run
Indian Reservation
Happy Together
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
Brand New Key
Breakin’ Up is Hard to Do
Running Bear
Feelings
Dancing in the Moonlight
You Light Up My Life
Heartbeat - Its a Lovebeat
Sylvia’s Mother
Rhinestone Cowboy
Afternoon Delight
They’re Coming to Take Me Away
The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia
98.6
Mister Factory
I’ve Gotta Get a Message to You
One Bad Apple
Ariel
Yummy Yummy Yummy
Ballad of the Green Berets (threatened)
Magic
Mandy
New York Mining Disaster 1941
Indiana Wants Me
Candyman
(I’m gonna kill your mother
Your father too
then I’m coming back to waste you.
You’re whole family’s gonna die
I’m gonna send 'em up to the spirit in the sky) *
In the Year 2525
Woman of Mine
The ‘Song’ Song
Thank God, I’m A Country Boy
Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)
The Green, Green Grass of Home
Blue Water Line
Angie Baby
Delta Dawn
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden
Dead Puppies
Patches
Shannon
Teen Angel
Wildfire
Senator Everett Dirkson’s “Gallant Men”
Mr. Jaws
The Streak (threatened)
Convoy
Purple People Eater
Paper Roses
Spiders and Snakes
Kung Fu Fighting
In the Playground In My Mind
Tell Laura I Love Her
Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
Marsha Strassman’s “Flower Children” (ask Fenris)
Puppy Love
Dead Skunk
Muskrat Love
Brandy
Sweet Gypsy Rose
We’ll Meet Again
You Always Hurt the One You Love
Tie a Yellow Ribbon
Knock Three Times
Ride, Captain, Ride
Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is
Angel of the Morning
Ringo
Nnnnn Bottles of Beer
Honey
Wichita Lineman
Undercover Angel
Precious and Few
Tie Me Kangaroo Down
In the Year of the Cat
Little Red Riding Hood
By the Time I Get to Phoenix
I Wouldn’t Want to be Like You
United We Stand
Dead Man’s Curve
De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
Sky High
Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother
(You’re) Having My Baby
Tonight You Are An Asshole
Nice To Be With You
I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing
My Eyes Adored You
Cat’s in the Cradle
Reunited
My Sharona
(others may have been embedded here - ask Bricker)
Another One Bites the Dust
A, B, C
Ben
In the Ghetto
-
- un-googleble
Short people got no reason
To live
They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
{Refrain}
Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
'Round here
Rot in Hell Randy Newman
As the midnight moon, was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes, lookin’ into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin’ don’t say a word, cause I already heard
What your body’s sayin’ to mine.
You’re tired of fast moves
You’ve got a slow groove…
On your mind.
You want a man with a slow hand.
You want a lover with an easy touch.
You want somebody who will spend some time.
Not come and go in a heated rush.
You want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, You want a slow hand.
On shadowed ground, with no one around
And a blanket of stars in our eyes.
We are drifting free, like two lost leaves
On the crazy wind of the night.
Darlin’, don’t say a word, ‘cause I already heard
What your body’s sayin’ to mine.
If you want it all night
Baby it’s alright
We got the time
'Cause you got a man with a slow hand.
You got a lover with an easy touch.
You found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush.
You found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, You want a slow hand.