If lovin' Lance is wrong...I don't wanna be right

The BBQ Pit
1

I know I will be absolutely alone on this one, I will be flamed to a dark golden brown and eaten with Bernaisse sauce. My banner of pride will not be joined with scads of similar banners bearing witty, rhyming proclimations. I know that for what I am about to say I shall be given a red hot Brazilian Bikini Wax without the benefit of a stiff drink first.

And yet…I shall say it anyhow.

Because it gets in my freaking craw.

I am a twenty eight year old, married, college educated, well read, woman of the world.

I also love 'N Sync.

GOD DAMN YOU LET ME FINISH!

I’ve posted here before that if one were to peruse my gigantic CD collection it will be mostly comprised of Metal, Industrial and Techno music. I have four Metallica albums. I’ve been in Mosh Pits. But I will readily admit that ** 'N Sync** is my guilty pleasure for when I just want something light and harmless.

I accept that no one else will admit to liking a boy band…and yet, when I get up at Karoake (go ahead, cane me alive for THAT spelling, I deserve it) and sing Bye Bye Bye, complete with dance moves, the crowd GOES WILD…and, let me point out, SINGS ALONG. I don’t feel that I am any less “cutting edge” or “subversive” for liking 'N Sync. I don’t feel that it compromises my relatively moderate level of coolness at all.

I know that 'N Sync was put together by executives, I know that they’re formulaic, I know that their music means nothing. I KNOW that they’re easy to hate. They’re the easiest target out there.

But isn’t the joke getting old? (Signs of the apocolypse: 'N Sync at the superbowl…har har har) One has to admit that these boys can sing. They sing acapella for God’s sake, and in perfect pitch, what else do you want? They dance better than I ever will, and most importantly, they give little girls 9-13 something to have fun with! Can’t we just live and let live?

And honestly, what would it take for everyone to give 'N Sync some credit? Would they have to be ugly? Would they have to play instruments? Plenty of solo artists don’t do that. Would they have to write their own songs? Pavarotti doesn’t.

I don’t think 'N Sync is the band to end all bands…I don’t think they’re the greatest thing going today. I just like them, they’re music is fun in the background at a party, or to sing out while you’re showering. And lord almighty, that Lance Bass is a cutey.

So go on…Flame away…I’m an 'N Sync fan and I’m proud.
jarbaby

2

I notice you didn’t say “I’m an 'N Sync fan and I’m smart.”

:wink: I’m kidding! Like what you like and if people look down on you for it, fuck 'em.

3

So, you love 'N Synch. That’s pretty fucking horrific. But to top it off, you try to counter that by saying you own four Metallica albums. Lemme tell you one thing, missy. That shit better be pre-Black Album Metallica, or you can consider your ass royally flamed.

[sub]Nah, not really. But 'N Synch? Sheesh.[/sub]

4

(Looks around furtively…)I borrowed a Ricky Martin cd from the library, and God help me,[sub] I like it.[/sub]

5

OH dear lord. OH GOD NO!

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is Coldfire’s flame.

And I must admit to further horrors,…my Metallica collection is Black album and beyond…so I am in line for further suffering.

What about Sabbath? I’ve got Black Sabbath! Lords of Acid! Good god, Coldy, give me something! I’ve got a six foot black bullwhip hanging on my bedroom wall! That’s subversive! RIGHT?

jarbaby

6

<sliiiight hijack>
I have a co-worker that looks exactly like Lance. He put Lance’s picture up outside his cubicle and everyone stops with their mouth agap telling him he’s Lance’s evil twin. Or good twin depending on your viewpoint of N’Sync.

7

My name is Nymysys, and I love bubblegum pop. Not just any bubblegum pop, but the finely crafted tunes that are British bubblegum pop. I came back from an extended UK vacation a few weeks ago with tunes of Toploader and Texas running through my head. I’ve started a small back-and-forth MP3 sharing with another Doper (who shall remain nameless unless he wants to come forth. I shan’t oust anyone from the closet), who has introduced me to Sclub7.

I also have issues knowing how badly these songs sit next to my Miles Davis. How they chafe next to my Bessie Smith. How Leo Kotkke looks upon them with dismay. TMBG sneer, the Meat Puppets throw things and the Beastie Boys want to organize a smack-down.

::shrug::

Fuck’em, I say.

Yes, my name is Nymysys, and I DON’T ALWAYS WANT TO BE DEEP, DAMMIT! SOMETIMES FINELY CRAFTED POP MUSIC JUST PLAIN MAKES ME HAPPY!!

jarbabyj, you are not alone.

8

::feebly raises hand and stands up::

Hi, my name’s schief2, and…and…White on Blonde is one of my favorite albums. I listen to it all the time when no one else is around. I have all the rest of Texas’ stuff too; my friends would disown me if they ever found out.

::sits down, sobbing quietly to himself::

9

Slight hijack…

Like jarbabyj, I’m a big metalhead from way back - but there’s something about some of these bubblegum pop bands that just sticks with you. I hate to admit it, but I’ve got more than one N’Sync/Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera mp3 on my hard drive. They’re just so damn catchy! (I s’pose that’s why they’re top 40, eh?) God help me…

10

I knew I’d get some of you out of the bubblegum closet! Don’t be ashamed!

Krunk! I can’t stop listening to Stronger by Britney Spears!

Featherlou! Be proud of your like of Ricky Martin! The man sang onstage on Broadway, something a lot of us actors only dream of!

Nymysys! I am happy as well!

Pop music is popular! There’s a place for all of us in this world.

And yet…

my heart still breaks at the post from Coldfire…alas, it is his namesake, for his burning flame scorches through my heart and chills me to the bone…

jarbaby

11

And Leo Kottke does, too. <sigh> Maybe pop music is a tool of the debbil.

12

I like Britney Spears.
And I have post-black album Metallica.

[sub]I’m sorry[/sub].

13

**jarbabyj wrote:

I am a twenty eight year old, married, college educated, well read, woman of the world.**

Hey, wait a minute! Since when did FEMALES start getting a college education!? You get your plump ass back into that kitchen and start baking some brownies! And you’d better do it heels and wearing a set of pearls, too!

:smiley:

On a more serious note, fuck the rest of the world! Listen to what you gawddamn well want to. This past weekend I was doing some overdue maintanence on my motorbike and listening to the sound track to The Wizard of Oz. There isn’t anything stranger than a 42 yo gay man lip-synching to Judy Garland’s Over the Rainbow while dressed in greasy jeans and a t-shirt and holding a 15mm wrench like a microphone. I know this cause my neighbors told me so. :smiley:

14

[sub]I have crushes on Rachel Willis, Danii Minogue, and Geri Halliwell[/sub]

15

You know that song by Christina Aguilera that goes something like “What a girl wants, what a girl needs” and that Jennifer Lopez song about her tossing and turning alone in her bed and waiting for tonight? I like them both.

Even worse, not only do I have the sound track to “Night at the Roxbury”, I know every freakin’ word to every freakin’ song on the CD!

Please don’t hurt me.

16

  • Shakes head in disbelief.

  • Sighs deeply.

Jarbabyj, the point is 'NSync doesn’t play their instruments OR write their own music. Being ugly might give them more credibility. I hope to avoid the sort of adult parties where 'NSync is played in the background; the sort of bars where it is played on karaoke machines and even the shower where you sing it; despite the fact I would probably otherwise enjoy watching you shower.

The fact you are doing karaoke in the first place shows that your edge has dulled considerably, I’m afraid. According to my copy of The Big Book of Relative Coolness, karaoke to a boy band is a “Class B” misdemeanour worth 7 KoolPoints and a mandatory one rank deduction. Our judges also feel you are being less than completely frank until you admit that you also like O-Town, the Backstreet Boys, the New Kids on the Block and Aqua. Under these circumstances, we can no longer credit you with being on the Rammstein tour bus or liking Metallica.

You suck. You and your ilk must take your share of responsibility of the music industry’s failure to produce worthwhile music over the last two years. The manufactured music you enjoy lacks credibility since no feature of it is novel, and you should feel ashamed for jumping on the 13 year old girl bandwagon and allowing the tasteless and unsophisticated to direct pop culture down unpalatable channels regardless of your mood or motive. My terrible singing voice could also be modified to sound better, and despite the syncronization I must confess that I’ve seen better dancing in beehives. Twenty years from now, your 'NSync CDs will be worth less than a Don McLean best of CD with a scratch over “American Pie”. Pttttui.

17

Jarbabyj – That’s the one. Every time I hear ‘Stronger’, it stays in my head for days. When that happens, I’ve got to break out some old Megadeth or something to drive it away.

Diane – NOTR is a great soundtrack! Don’t let anyone ever tell you different.

I guess we shouldn’t be too ashamed of ourselves for liking this music – it’s Top 40 (and therefore by definition popular) for a reason. That reason being that it’s catchy and has some kind of redeeming characteristic. Not that it’s necessarily great music or anything…

However, if anyone ever tries to tell me they actually like the version of ‘Walk this Way’ that was done at the Super Bowl (did Steven Tyler look like he was ashamed of himself? He should have been), I will personally come over to their house and smack them around with a nail-studded two-by-four.

18

Jarbabyj – That’s the one. Every time I hear ‘Stronger’, it stays in my head for days. When that happens, I’ve got to break out some old Megadeth or something to drive it away.

Diane – NOTR is a great soundtrack! Don’t let anyone ever tell you different.

I guess we shouldn’t be too ashamed of ourselves for liking this music – it’s Top 40 (and therefore by definition popular) for a reason. That reason being that it’s catchy and has some kind of redeeming characteristic. Not that it’s necessarily great music or anything…

However, if anyone ever tries to tell me they actually like the version of ‘Walk this Way’ that was done at the Super Bowl (did Steven Tyler look like he was ashamed of himself? He should have been), I will personally come over to their house and smack them around with a nail-studded two-by-four.

19

[butting in] I don’t have a clue who O-Town or Aqua are. Can I get some KoolPoints? [butting out]

[butting again] I am 39 :::gulp::: years old, I have pre-black album Metallica, and I have seen Rammstein (with KMFDM) in concert. I even have the Rammstein t-shirt with the things poking them in the eyes and the KMFDM t-shirt with the weird looking people (and bombs) printed in black and red. PLUS - my dad LIVES in Ramstein Germany.

I also have Don McLean’s CD with American Pie - scratch-free!

So, do I get bonus points to help cancel out the dork points I racked up with my Christina/Jennifer/Night at the Roxbury confession? [butting out again]

20

Woops. Sorry for the multiple posts, kids – minor Internet glitch at work. My apologies. :slight_smile: