Yes.
No. Never say never, but I just can’t see it working at all.
Sure, if everyone was rational about it. So I mean no. There’s no law against living with multiple girlfriends right now, but I’m not trying it.
Not right now, not in my current relationship - he would never go for it.
On my own? I don’t know. I’d have to find the right group of people, and it would have to be an equal number of males and females - which means I probably couldn’t really handle more than two couples. A four person marriage might even work.
I find it interesting that the default assumption for many responding seems to be three people, either MMF or MFF.
Personally, MMFFMF seems more appealing to me but at some point it probably becomes marriage as shorthand for communal living.
I have no moral or logistical objection to polygamy but I seem to be chemically wired against it as I’ve never been seriously attracted to more than one person at a time. If that changed and all parties were willing, I think I’d be fine with it.
My partner and I have been together, monogamously, for almost 23 years, and there’s nothing lacking in the relationship that would be fixed by adding another person.
But: We have a long-time close friend who lost his partner a couple of years ago. Although he’s an extraordinary human being, he’s having no luck on the dating scene. My partner and I have discussed (totally hypothetically) what would happen if we were single again (through separation, death, etc.), and we both wanted this friend to be our new partner. We are both as compatible with him as with each other.
But when thinking about what it would be like to live as a 3-some . . . we found more reasons not to do it than to do it. The thing is, I am 20 years older than my partner, so there’s a good chance that he’ll outlive me by several years. If that happens, I hope he and our friend will become partners.
So to answer the OP, yes we have “considered” it, and may consider it again in the future . . . but not now.
And to answer obfusciatrist, it would be an MMM relationship (we’d already done MMMMMMMMMMMMM before we met).
I’ve had people think I was really weird when I’ve told them that. When I’m in a relationship, I just don’t think about other people in that way at all.
Oh God no. One wife takes a ton of effort, I couldn’t imagine two. And no way in hell am I allowing another man into the relationship.
I’d be cool with having a harem though. She wouldn’t like it.
Can you clarify what you mean by this (or maybe I’m just being dense)?
Are you simply describing any group 3 males and 3 females, or is there a specific reason you arranged the M’s and F’s that way?
Nope, not interested. I suppose there might be some advantages to having two wives, the only form of plural marriage i find remotely appealing, but that would require:
1.) finding two women I wanted to marry
2.) the two women having awesome friend chemistry with each other.
Even given those, improbable, conditions, I still think the experience would be emotionally and logistically confusing and thus unwise.
I’m fairly poly-skeptic overall, however.
No, thank you. Not in any permutation of men and women. It just doesn’t suit the way I’m wired.
I’m not sure I could even split a house with another family successfully. It sounds great in theory–more hands to split up the errands and chores, bulk cooking doesn’t mean you’re eating leftovers till the end of time, usually someone around to hang out with if you want, your own separate space to retire to if you don’t want. But in practice I rather suspect it would be hellishly tricky to find people compatible enough to keep it from turning into a perpetual argument over how often to clean, what to have for dinner, what to watch on tv, who forgot to take the trash cans to the curb, all that sort of daily bullshit.
Without elaborating further–yes.
Yeah, I’d probably consider it.
Yeah me too. I become completely infatuated with my squeeze and find him more attractive than anyone else. Something within me switches off and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else. Every other guy in the world has some sort of flaw that I can’t get over.
Not that I can’t eventually get over my squeeze when we break up. The switch can work both ways, but something has to happen to turn it back on.
As for polygamy, I am just too insecure for it. I still can’t bring myself to date divorced guys or guys with kids because I have an insecurity towards the other women. That’s just how I am.
When I clicked on the thread I was thinking “no, too much trouble”. Then I wandered away for awhile and mused and now I think, yes it could be cool.
I think I would like one more husband. I’m a stay at home mom and money is tight, so an extra income would be great! We pretty much divvy up the chores in the traditional manner, but my husband doesn’t really have enough time to do all the manly stuff, so it would be great if we could take on someone really handy. Think of having another person to help with moving furniture and drywalling etc!
Plus, I am an attention whore, so the idea of having two guys who think I’m hot and want to have sex with me is appealing.
I’m not sure how my husband would feel about it, but he is so affable he can really get along with almost anybody. He has never shown a shred of jealousy and in fact has given indications that he gets a kick out of knowing that other men find me attractive. I know he would be extremely tempted by the drywalling help.
Now where I would find said extra husband is tricky…I don’t really have a lot of time to be hanging out in bars…if I’m out of the house I’m pretty much at a school or grocery store.
I have no interest in having another woman around.
I’m sort of two minds about it. On one hand, sure, it would be nice to have two willing sexual partners, each of whom was not only aware of the other but believed I should be spending intimate moments with the other on a regular basis. It would also be nice to spread some of the parental and familial responsibilities across three people instead of just two.
But on the other hand, I really enjoy the alone time I have with my wife. Even if we’re not doing anything particularly intimate, like if we were just sitting on the couch having a conversation, the entire two-person dynamic would be altered if there’s a third person sitting there with us. Also, it’s hard enough sometimes figuring out the logistics of which holidays to spend with which of our families- adding a third (or more) person to the mix would be impossible to figure out. Now, if the two women were actually sisters… nah.
There are some appealing aspects, but all in all I’ll remain monogamous.
I can imagine a potential scenario where it might possibly come up (much like panache45’s, actually), but it’s still exceedingly unlikely.
Can you imagine having 2 or 3 mother in laws?
It would solve your baby sitting problem though.
We’ve talked about the possibility of adding a third to our relationship, so yes I would consider it. (would be MMM)
No, because children are not appealing for me. Sexual relationships for me are about the sexual aspect of the relationship, otherwise it’s just a friend, and I wouldn’t want to share that intimacy.
If I were into kids, I’d probably feel differently.