Let’s say the laws change and polygamy becomes completely legal. The various problems with inheritance and child support and divorce get hammered out at least as well as they are for monogamists, and it can include any combination of male and female that the participants want.
Is it appealing at all for you?
I think one wife is one too many, so no thank you.
To answer my own question: No. A thousand times no. There’s no appeal whatsoever.
I liked having one husband, but the thought of more than one makes me tired. My idea of a good marriage is one where we spend the majority of our free time together, even if it’s just doing our own thing in the same room. There’s no space in there for additional relationships.
I would not want to be part of an MMF configuration, and I’m quite sure that my wife would not want to be part of an FFM configuration – so I’d remain happily in the same situation as now.
No. I love my wife. Other women are boring in comparison.
I could adjust if she wanted, possibly.
I agree that one wife is one too many so absolutely no way. That has to be one of the inner circles of hell. You don’t get to fight one on one anymore, now they have reinforcements. It might be ok if you you had one to take of of the kids, one to keep house, two to go out and work while I just sat around waiting for them to please me but we all know the reality is going to be the opposite of that.
No, thank you.
I don’t really understand the appeal of multiple spouses, though I have nothing against those for whom that lifestyle works. I don’t have, nor have I ever wanted, children, so the arguments about division of household labor and child-rearing don’t really have any meaning for me. And I don’t believe that the kind of special bond I feel with someone to whom I’m married is something I could share with multiple people. I think I would be bound to end up having a favorite, and then I’d just feel extraordinarily guilty about not giving my favorite all of my devotion, and I’d feel guilty about not giving the other(s) as much as my favorite.
Further, based on other recent threads, it sounds like polygamy is much more work. With long work hours and errands that have to get done, it can already be labor-intensive to schedule enough time to be a couple. When I hear about people in polygamy arrangments having to carefully schedule things so that each spouse gets quality time…it just makes my head hurt.
No doubt there are ways to make it work for the right people, but I don’t think I’m one of them. I’m going to have one spouse, or none.
You’re not describing wives. You’re describing slaves. Or maybe hookerbots with secondary purposes.
Looking over some of the other responses, I wonder if anyone would change their answer if the marriage included an equal number of males and females. Not saying that the men would have to sleep with the men and the women would have to sleep with the women (unless that was their desire), but for those who talk about having to bear the burden of more than one spouse, would it make a difference if you had “reinforcements” on “your side” as well?
My answer wouldn’t change. I’m not very good at sharing.
I’d consider it, especially if it were FFM. But if it were MMF, I think too much work would fall on my shoulders, so I wouldn’t be interested.
That’s an interesting question. For a long time, while our children were growing up, we were very close friends with two neighbouring families (one next door, one across the street), so that the children really treated all three houses as their own, and we often shared meals. That sort of arrangement (if you can get it) works very well, but it’s not a form of marriage: it’s more like an extended family.
(And we’re all still friends, though two families have moved, and the other went through divorce.)
I would join a line marriage, if they’d have me.
Nah. I have relatives who are polyamorous, but married only to each other. It’s not for me. Frankly, I’d be jealous.
Joe
No. I generally don’t even get along with female roommates, why would I want two or three women in my house that were all up in my grill and I could never kick out? Most days I am SO glad I am not a lesbian. I have 2 or 3 good female friends, and that’s all the exposure to estrogen I need.
Setting aside my own general misogyny, it just seems like so much work! I get tired just thinking about the arguments over who cleaned the bathroom last, who dropped their socks on the floor, who’s going to clean up that cat puke… Most people find group living arrangements very challenging even if no sex, love, or finances are involved.
(Female)
Probably not. My wife’s boyfriend spends too much time hanging around here as it is. I’m sure it would be even worse if we married him.
They’d have to be like a hundred times hotter than those Sister Wives cows, that’s for sure. Even then, I don’t feel like working any harder than I already do, so meh.
I’m in a happy monogamous marriage and it works for us, so no.
If I had somehow been brought up in a world with different societal norms, maybe my answer would be different. But as it is, the changing of laws would not be enough for me to change my outlook.
I’ve found Perfection already. What are the chances of it showing up a second time?
Pass.
I think polygamy should be legal, and I’m annoyed at the perception that it can only be some kind of fundamentalist patriarchal oppression. A meeting of free and equal adults should not be like that.
But for me personally? I don’t know.
I can’t really imagine myself in a poly marriage, but then I can’t really imagine myself in a mono(?) marriage either. I’m just not good at people. Poly sounds like ‘more people to share the work’, and ‘more people to keep an eye on the kids’ as well. On the other hand, if you think of marriage as combat, I could see where you wouldn’t want to be outnumbered. And it seems that it could be more complex as well.
i’m for legal multiparter marriage/civil union.
people do it extralegally successfully and some of them would like to have it legalized.