If these movies had first been made today...(old movie spoilers)

I’d heard that Rock A-Bye Baby was a remake of The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek, so I watched the latter when it was on AMC, and was baffled that the two movies have almost nothing in common.

But it got me to thinking, had TMoMC been made today, the plot probably would have taken a big plot twist. Instead of Trudy having gotten married and pregnant without remembering the details after ditching poor hapless Norval for the night, it would have turned out that Norval, her love-lorn stalker, would have slipped her a roofie and he was the father of her children. :eek:

Can anyone else think of movies that probably would have been significantly different if they reflected present-day culture rather than the era(s) they were made in? Just movies prior to 1970, please, so they’re old enough to not have terribly shocking spoilers for most people.

Miracle of Morgan’s Creek couldn’t be remade today at all. It assumes that a pregnant woman must get married, something that isn’t a major issue nowadays (it also assumes that you can’t have sex until after you’re married – that’s why she marries Ratzkywatsky – but that could be dropped). In a remake, there would be no need for Trudy to be so desperate to marry Norval.

The one thing that catches my attention most often watching older films is how many would require rewrites just to accomodate cell phones. Nowadays at the drop of a hat you can pull out your phone and let other people know what is going on wrecking the incommunicado suspense element of many storylines.

If Walt Disney’s Pinocchio were to be made today:
[li] They would give Pinocchio a love interest (PLA)[/li][li] They would make sure Stromboli gets his comeuppance (lost his business in a fire he sets himself while fighting Pinocchio)[/li][li] Ditto Honest John and Gideon (arrested for trafficking young boys) and the Coachman (dies by falling from some high place)[/li][li] Pinocchio would lead an uprising on Pleasure Island and would figure out a way to turn all the donkeys back into boys[/li][li] They would make Pinocchio more cool and in-the-know and Jiminy Cricket “hipper.”[/li][li] The Blue Fairy would be hotter, less preachy, and have her own song, sung by Jessica Simpson[/li][li] Gepetto would be younger, and also have a love interest.[/li][li] Cleo and Figaro would be able to talk to each other, with witty comic banter.[/li][li] There would be tons of winky-winky oh-so-clever pop culture references[/li][li] After washing ashore, Pinocchio would swim back out to dispatch a not-quite-dead Monstro, who is threatening the life of PLA, who went out on another raft looking for him.[/li][li] The little village would have a parade for Pinocchio after becoming a real boy, since he would be the greatest hero they’d ever seen. And Lampwick would be reformed and move in with his new best friend.[/li][/ul]

In other words, it would suck. All the things that make the original film a dark, daring masterpiece would be gone.

[li] They would give Pinocchio a love interest (PLA)[/li][/QUOTE]
“Tell the truth! Tell a lie! Tell the truth! Tell a lie!”

If they remade Jupiter’s Darling I think it would run more along the lines of Secretary, with Amytis discovering she’d rather be Hannibal’s slavegirl and Fabius Maximus’ wife. There’s a lot of erotic dominance and submission interplay in the original, nowadays they’d play with it more, and the nature of their relationship would be more explicitly shown. (Not hard to beat 50s films for explicitness). Unfortunately, there are no longer any bloated, self-imported historical costume dramas to lampoon … wait a minute … unless you count Gladiator and The Passion of the Christ. Which I do!