Why didn’t Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?
She wanted to wash up on shore.
A stroke.
Jon-Erik Hexum would be 51 in Nov.
Jim Henson would be 72 in May.
What do you mean if they were alive?
And in the same vein…
Dylan Thomas 94
Billie Holiday 93
Anwar Sadat 90
Judy Garland 86
Jack Kerouac 86
Charlie Parker 86
Hank Williams, Sr. 85
Rocky Marciano 85
Audie Murphy 84
Lenny Bruce 83
Rock Hudson 83
Robert F Kennedy 83
Malcolm X 83
Sam Cooke 77
Sylvia Plath 76
Robert Reed (Mr. Brady) 76
Patsy Cline 76
Dian Fossey 76
Roberto Clemente 74
Yuri Gagarin 74
Eddie Cochran 70
Marvin Gaye 69
Sal Mineo 69
Rick Nelson 68
Mama Cass Elliot 67
Otis Redding 67
Ritchie Valens 67
Jim Croce 65
Sharon Tate 65
John Holmes 64
Bob Marley 63
Gilda Radner 62
Stephen Biko 62
Gianni Versace 62
Robert Mapplethorpe 62
Duane Allman 62
Keith Moon 62
Bon Scott (AC/DC) 62
Thurman Munson 61
John Bonham 60
Phil Hartman 60
Ronnie Van Zandt (Lynyrd Skynyrd) 60
Christa McAuliffe 60
Andy Kaufman 59
John Belushi 59
Karen Carpenter 58
Sam Kinison 55
Stevie Ray Vaughan 54
Keith Haring 50
Andy Gibb 50
Terry Fox 50
Florence Griffith-Joyner 49
Nicole Brown Simpson 49
Dominique Dunne 49
Michael Hutchence (INXS) 48
Davey Allison 47
Len Bias 45
Dana Plato 44
Chris Farley 44
Brandon Lee 43
Ronald Goldman 40
Tupac Shakur 37
Selena 37
Ryan White 37
The Notorious B.I.G. 36
JonBenet Ramsey 18
Since the oldest verified age to which a human has survived is 122, these people could theoretically have made it to the present day:
Chico Marx – 121
Harpo Marx – 119
Jim Thorpe – 119
Adolf Hitler – 119
Groucho Marx – 117
Dwight D. Eisenhower – 117
Sergei Prokofiev – 117 (Happy Birthday!)
Francisco Franco --115
Haile Selassie – 115
Mae West – 114
Babe Ruth – 113
Amelia Earhart – 110
George Gershwin – 109
Zeppo Marx – 107
In actual fact, still dead after all these years.
The composer Elliott Carter will turn 100 this December if he doesn’t die first. He was born before these composers, who have been dead for at least ten years and would be this old if they were alive today:
Samuel Barber (98)
John Cage (95)
Jean Françaix (95)
Benjamin Britten (94)
Alberto Ginastera (92)
Leonard Bernstein (89)
Astor Piazzolla (87)
Luigi Nono (84)
Morton Feldman (82)
And Olivier Messiaen was born the day before Carter.
(Looking at that list, the thing that bothers me most is that Cage was born before Britten.)
Oh dear. There is a “decomposing” joke inside me, struggling to get out. Help!