In an attempt to prevent the Hi-jacking of the “Why can’t Yoda use proper grammar?” thread, I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread in earnest on one of the memes uncovered in that thread.
If a Celebrity or Fictional Character were to give GPS directions, what spin [pardon the pun] would they put on them?
You could have a chorus of Munchkins singing “Follow the yellow brick road.” Of course, they might get confused by other kinds of roads – “Follow the grey concrete road”?
I realize that it would be an extrely restricted use, but down in New Jersey there’s a road called
Squancum Yellow Brook Road.
(There’s also a Yellow Brook Road in Holmdel, NJ). It would be priceless to hear directions to drive on that road in a singsong Munchkin chorus voice:
[Munchkin] Follow the Yellow Brook Road
Follow the Yellow Brook Road
The New Yorker has a humor feature called “Shouts & Murmurs”; they recently had one imagining getting directions to famous poets’ houses, using the styles of those poets. It was very funny, although some of them were a bit too obvious (“Two roads diverge at the yellow light…”).
There’s a Yellow Brick Road near me. I always thought it would be great if the GPS would suddenly switch to the Munchkins singing when you turn onto that road.
I want Stephen Fry as Jeeves to be the voice of my GPS.
“Oh, my, a slight miscalculation. Won’t you turn around at your earliest convenience? No rush at all!”
“If you could contrive to turn left at the next intersection, that would be splendid!”
“What a shame other motorists aren’t as proficient as you, madam! Oh, do let me flip her the bird!”
If Alfred Hitchcock was alive:
[After entering your destination]
"Good evening…
In a few minutes you will reach your destination, but I have to inform you that you just missed a nice small hotel located 5 miles behind our current direction, after the unpleasantness that took place several years ago (oh! You should had seen the blood in that bathtub) I’m glad to inform you that the place has new and competent management…
Unlike your current destination that is located in a nice little town by the sea. Watch out for some very unfriendly feathered critters. And forget about turning right on the next fork thinking that it would be a shortcut! The last ones who tried that…
But, we are getting close to the exit you must take, now just go North by NorthWest…"
“You unlock this door with the key of imagination, beyond it is another dimension… You are moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into: the exit lane.”
I always wanted a voice hack for my Google Maps so that the voice of the Emergency Medical Hologram would say “Please state the nature of the navigation emergency.”