In my family, that was about right. We’d usually show up for the cookout festivities after church (if we went to 12 noon mass) or early afternoon if we went to an earlier mass. Generally, there was chips and dips, then food started getting thrown on the grill at around 2 through about 4.
But I grew up in a family where Sunday dinner was (and still is) around 2-3 p.m., so our cookouts naturally try to fit in that schedule, since they typically were on Sundays. On Saturdays, they might start a little later.
When I do them myself, I generally start having people over around 2-3 p.m., with the main dish (usually smoked meat of some sort) around 6 p.m., but now that everyone has small kids, I’m trying to get an earlier start on these things.
This cookout is a fucking disaster . Arrived at 4pm and the food is still not done because my cousin has no idea how to use a grill. Everyone is hungry and the food is not cooking.
See, if you had listened to your auntie and arrived a couple hours early, you could have supervised your grilling-incompetent cousin and saved the day for everyone. Auntie knows best!
See, now that would throw me off completely. The only “dinner” that happens in the afternoon is Thanksgiving Dinner. If someone invited me over for dinner, and didn’t tell me the time, I’d probably show up at 7PM. Certainly no earlier than 6PM.
Unless it is specifically an evening invite, our events are typically noon- 1ish. Evenings are denoted by bonfire / campfire with a time the food hits the grill noted. These run into the midnight time frame. Afternoon events last until 4-5. Usually no grilling at these events. Mostly potluck.
Another vote for “when the host says”. The family in Florida hosts at various times, depending a lot on how long they want people around and what people will be up to. My dad and stepmother have a fairly set time, say starting around 3:30 or 4, eating around 4:30 or 5, and people leaving by 7. They’re getting older.
My uncle and aunt have a pool, so we show up around noon or one. There are snacks and drinks. Everyone swims. The grill gets fired up and people fed in an hour or two. Food circulates, no one is hungry.
My cousin and her husband also have a pool, so tend to start early and do things like crawfish early on, then burgers/steaks/hot dogs/whatever on the grill later on. People swim, play horseshoes, badminton, whatever. Young kids get “put down” for a nap if they need it, and many kids go to sleep before mom and dad leave.