I think 3pm to 4pm is a normal time to arrive. My aunt feels everyone should be at the cookout at 1pm?
Who goes to a cookout that early?
I arrive about the time the host declares as the arrival time.
Yup. Me too.
What if it’s not a set time?
If they can’t tell me when people ought to show up, I’ll probably skip it.
If it’s not a set time then I show up when it’s convenient for me. If the burgers aren’t ready yet you better have some chips and salsa for me to eat while I drink all your beer.
If only there was some device that would allow us to talk, from a distance, to the person throwing the party to find out what time we should show up.
Between 2 and 3 is our usual meet time. Dinner is usually served closer to 4 pm.
I agree with everyone else that I show up when the host says is a good time. As for who has a cookout at that time - lots of people. My mother certainly used to (doesn’t really do them anymore). It’s lunch time. People tend to like to eat at lunchtime. Plus, my parents have a pool, and it’s a family friendly gathering, and the kids can swim for hours.
If a time is specified, that’s when I show up. If the time is just listed as “dinner time”, in the context of my extended family, that probably means about 1:00 or 2:00, since we’re of rural stock, and that’s when we always have big family dinners. If it’s not even specified as “dinner time”, then I’d call up the hosts and ask.
I’m assuming that a cookout is what we in Australia call a barbeque. In that case, it should be specified which meal is going to be shared with the family: either lunch or dinner (with exception for an ‘all day’ piss-up).
If lunch, I’d expect to arrive around 11.30am to eat around 1pm. Dinner would be from 4pm. This gives plenty of time for guests to munch on some nibblies and have a few glasses of beer/wine. If kids, (especially younger kids) are involved, a definite meal time should be offered so that family members can get there closer to the mealtime and leave soon afterwards if they so desire.
Is your aunt the hostess? Then she’s decided it should be 1:00.
Or is she just one of the older family relatives who has an opinion about how things should be? In that case, what does the actual host say?
In our family, the cookouts always start at 2:00 so everyone can get there by 5:00.
No the Aunt is the one who has an opinion about how things should be
Our family gatherings all tend to be afternoon affairs, whether cooking out or in. The main meal is generally ready around 1 or 2, and we start to head home by 4 at the latest. It works great for me since I live 2 hours away from everyone else. It also works out for Mom, who usually hosts, because everything is clean and put away before we all leave and she has the evening to relax as she sees fit.
I don’t recall there ever being any discussion about the correct time to arrive or depart.
Sign her up here. She sounds as if she would fit right in!
If she prefers to have lunch around 1pm, then she can have it at home as usual, and go on to the family event later. Unless it’s the kind of family where the host is going to take offence that someone didn’t fancy deferring their big meal and therefore isn’t eating that much. If the latter’s the case, then I’d just lay in extra popcorn and watch the two of them provide the floor-show.
I arrive when the host says to arrive.
“What time should we show up.”
“Whenever.”
loud sigh “Fine. When will dinner be served?”
“Around 4, I guess.”
“See you at 4.”
The OP doesn’t specify when the food is to be ready.
A barbecue at our place isn’t just to eat. It’s a time to socialize.
People usually start coming at around 1. This is especially family members who have driven in from the suburbs and brought a dish. We have snacks and beer as things get organized.
The burgers and dogs get thrown on the grill starting about 3 PM. The main gluttony takes place around 4.
Friends of the family and neighbors may drift in any time. They usually come later. There’s usually plenty of food for anyone who shows up.
In the old days, the party would continue indefinitely. After we were done eating, we would play poker or other games into the evening.
A barbecue/cookout is meant to be an informal affair. The food is usually of a nature that it doesn’t matter when it’s ready. So people can show up when they want.
If you want to socialize and hang out, show up early. If you’re mostly interested in the food, show up just before it’s ready.
There is. It’s called a letter.
I would love that. Our family gatherings, usually with my in-laws don’t usually get started until around 4:00 or so. I would much rather get together earlier.