Sorry if this has been covered before, I searched on punctuality and didn’t see anything on the first page…
Recently, I was mocked for my “punctuality” because I showed up at 6:20 for the 6 o’clock barbecue and was the first person there by at least 15 minutes. The host and hostess were gracious about it, but they were the ones that pointed out to others I was the first one there.
As a side note, one of the people mocking me was an old high school friend that I recently starting hanging out with (not like that, she’s married). 20 years after high school, and the first time we meet she is 2 hours late (I know I should’ve left, but she kept texting me saying she was almost there). The second time she is 1 hour late, I now understand she is never on time. Another example? If you insist. She texted me to come hang out at the bar, “we’re there now” she says. I get there 25 minutes later (all drive time) and don’t see them. I wait 10 minutes and text back “where are you?” She shows up 15 minutes later…Maybe this part should be a separate post? Am I hijacking my own thread? Live with it. Anyway, I’m through being a doormat with her.
6:15 if I am late but I will call and let you know I am running late.
If you come to my bbq 45 minutes late you likely will go hungry I start cooking at 6:00 and we then eat. I used to wait, but I had a friend such as yours and I did not enjoy making my family wait for him and his family.
The last bbq I invited him to, he showed up to watch us finish eating. I enjoyed that very much Keep my waiting at your peril is my motto!
I’m nearly always punctual, and can’t imagine conceding any validity to someone who attempts to mock me for showing up when told to. My response in your case would have been: “Yes, I must apologize for my 6:20 arrival - showing up that late was extremely inconsiderate to our hosts. It’s certainly gracious of them to tolerate my inexcusable tardiness.”
I think society will be far poorer if/when “Please come to our 6pm barbecue” means “See if you can guess when you should show up.”
6pm, I´ll be there at 6 or just a little bit past.
1/2 the fun of a BBQ is aimlessly drinking beer/wine whilst the food cooks.
When hosting if I say 2pm, the chorizo go on at 20 to, and the rest of the cow goes on at 2 (barring phone calls connected with traffic chaos) and it should be ready in about 40 minutes. My extended Argentine family has slowly learned, if they want to eat, they better be there at 2 or shortly after, otherwise the FIL will have already consumed everything.
If I got invited to a 6 PM barbecue, I’d make sure I clarified the matter with my host. Am I supposed to show up at 6, or are we supposed to start dropping by a couple hours early? You know, to help light the fire, get the straight doper toasty, that kind of stuff.
Depends on the crowd, but the 6:20-6:40 range seems about right. Maybe later, but probably not any earlier.
Then again, I’m still in the age group where (unless specified otherwise) a 6pm barbecue will go through to 1 or 2 in the morning - with the grill probably fired back up at least a couple of more times over the course of the night - so there’s no real rush to get there particularly on time.
I love all of you people who tell me I was LATE. That’s exactly how I felt. My intentions were to slip in once the whole thing was already in swing.
Maybe they just aren’t my crowd…by the way I left at around midnight, and they called me at 3:30 am to drunkenly ask a stupid question…I forget what it was, but I’m certain it was stupid.
See this is apparently why I suck in social situations. I always show up precisely at the time invited. My answer is 6pm. If they didn’t want people to show up at 6pm they should’ve made the invitiation at 6:30 or 7 (or whatever)
I know that there are parts of the world where 6 means after 8, but not around here. If you said 6, I’d ask if you were eating at 6 or if you wanted me to show up earlier.
Get clarification. If a 6:00 pm BBQ means dinner is served at 6:00 - than 5:30. If it means "show up at 6:00 and we will eat later - no earlier than 6:05, no later than 6:15.
I’d probably show up at 6:15-6:30 or so, and knowing the people I hang out with I’d be the first one there.
If I were throwing the cookout and told people to show up at 6:00, I’d have some appetizers out at 6:00 but I wouldn’t even plan to serve up the main dishes until 7:00. I throw parties a few times a year, and every single time I tell people to show up at 7:30, and I have never once had anybody here at 7:30, even if I have 15 or 20 by 9:00.
If it’s not my crowd, I’d probably show up even later, because in that case being the first one to show up is even more awkward than usual.
If I’m told “BBQ… show up at 6”, then anytime between 5:50 and 7 is good, though usually in the 6-6:20 range. I don’t expect that the BBQ will be lit and the food cooking at 6… that’s a very early supper time for my friends and I! Among my friends, a BBQ at 6 means drinks and chatter and chips and random appetizers until 8 or so, and then the cooking starts and eating would probably last until 10 at least, followed by (well accompanied, too) more drinking and chatter and chips and random post-dinner appetizers until the last people pass out/go home/finish cleaning up and head to bed. Basically, BBQ = party, not a sit-down dinner at a set time. If that was the intention, the invite would be “BBQ, we’ll be eating around 6:30, so show up early!” and most people would show up at about 6.
To me, Barbecue = may start as early as 2 or 3…people arrive slowly over the course of the afternoon/evening…somewhere around 4 or 5 someone starts the coals…meanwhile, much chatting and drinking and noshing of veggie trays…6ish is when they actually put the meat on the grill…people still arrive until 7 or 8, and if they arrive after the coals have died down then they make a burger out of the leftover patties and nobody makes a big deal about it. There are drinks and conversation until about 10ish, or whenever the last guest leaves/passes out/the host boots the stragglers so they can go to sleep.
It isn’t the sort of event one can be ‘late’ to.
Dzamn, do y’all send out engraved invitations, too???
It depends on who’s throwing the barbeque. If it’s a “free food”-type event, like is sometimes thrown by the housing office on campus, then no later than 5:55 or 5:50, so as to be sure to get a good place in line.
But just a bunch of friends BBQ, I hang out mostly with foreign students, most of whom have a very different notion of event timing than Americans. For those, I’m usually in the same position as the OP: I show up about 20 minutes “late”, and since I’m the only American there, I’m usually the first one. Which does lead to some teasing, but I’ve never minded.
If I’m not someone who is close friends with the host, I’ll make it a point to be on time. that’s just polite, IMO. If you’re a buddy, I’ll show up an hour or more early, and help you ice beers, move stuff, and do whatever else a buddy should. Unless you have a catering staff, there’s always an assload of stuff that needs done, and last minute oversights in need of attention. Buddies address such stuff, and are glad to do so.
I start cooking at 6:00 and we then eat. I used to wait, but I had a friend such as yours and I did not enjoy making my family wait for him and his family.
Keep my waiting at your peril is my motto!