Fuckwits who don't RSVP

We were planning our St. Patrick’s Day party and the husband sent e-mail invitations to about 16 people, requesting that they RSVP by 3/15. 9 people did! Are the others just so stupid they don’t know what RSVP means or are they just inexcusably rude?

The party was to have started at 6:30, with dinner around 7. My husband had made his traditional corned beef and cabbage, I made boxty and salmon. Two of our best friends said they would bring the appetizers…at 7:15 they strolled in mumbling something about a situation (non-emergency, pure petulance) with their daughter who paid them a surprise visit from college (they see here fairly often, the school is not that far away. If I arrived home unannounced, I always expected my parents to go on with whatever plans they had already made. No harm, no foul.)

FUCKING RSVP! These were e-vites; it would’ve taken about 20 seconds out of your busy lives to e-mail a simple yes or no! I assume that those who didn’t respond figured that we would take that as a no, but it’s just fucking rude, especially when you’re trying to figure out how much food to make!

To the appetizer friends who showed up 45 min. late, with a very feeble I’m sorry: Friday night you guys called me 4 times (and my husband twice) on your CELL PHONES to see if we would go to a bar and watch the U of I and SIU games. We respectively declined due to pre-party duties. Once again, for effect…CELL PHONES. Could you not have given us a call at 6:30 to say you’re going to be late, apologize, make a joke about cheese and veggies for desert and allow me to have a sincere smile on my face as you came through the door?

This is my first PIT. Sorry it’s not flaming enough or if it’s too poor me-ey, but this really bugs the shit out of me!


Feed and entertain the nine. Tell the rest to fucko off.

My thoughts exactly. It drives me nuts when people don’t RSVP.

At the risk of touching off a whole 'nother lateness debate, I feel the same way about people who don’t RSVP as I do about the chronically late; that they somehow feel that their lives are more important than mine. I think that people who neglect to RSVP and then show up (or even better, show up late when they’re expected to bring the appetizer) are exhibiting arrogance and thoughtlessness. (If you don’t RSVP and then don’t show up, you’re simply rude. If I ask for a response, giving none is rude.)

I think the case is more that people don’t really understand that RSVP means “please respond, whether you’re coming or not.” I’ve never done an RSVP event before, but I’d guess that a good portion of my friends would think if you’re not attending, you don’t need to respond.

Otherwise, I am with the OP. If you’re going to be late, especially when you have a cell phone and a responsibility to bring appetizers, call.

Wow, an “e-vite”! I suppose a twenty second toss-off mail to the depths of your address book might look like an invite to you, but most normal people prefer a bit of human contact.

/have you got any boxty or salmon left?
//sounds good

I sympathise, having had problems coralling dozens of responses to my wedding - and I sent them on a pre-addressed postcard so there was no real excuse.

But could it be that the invitees didn’t understand that it was a dinner party? To me, a Paddy’s Day party is a rough-and-tumble collection of people getting drunk and singing. To which invitation one needn’t really RSVP, even if one is requested.

What’s boxty?

Screw the flake-offs.

OK, I’ve now read the OP about 5 times, and I’m kinda lost. But that’s nothing new.

Let me see if I got this straight. You e-vited 16 people and 9 replied. Did any of the other 7 show up? Were the late people part of the 9 that replied or the 7 that didn’t?

If none of the 7 that didn’t reply didn’t show up, is it possible that they didn’t check their e-mail in time? I sometimes don’t check my e-mail for a long time. Some addresses I don’t check at all. Do you normally communicate with these people via e-mail and know that these addresses are current and frequently used?

Do you know these people well? Is their main mode of communication e-mail?

Just wondering. Do you have their phone numbers also? Did you consider calling and asking whether they received their e-vite?

That was my question. Sometimes my work e-mail will eat messages and I either don’t receive them ever, or I get them extremely late.

This doesn’t happen with my gmail address, but back when I had Yahoo it happened constantly.


[pet peeve]PLEASE leave your slashies at Fark.[/pet peeve]

In an official sense, of course RSVP means to respond whether you’re coming or not, but a large part of the population doesn’t know that, especially when it pertains to a casual party and an e-vite. The people that showed up 45 minutes late were just rude, but that’s obvious.


To the OP:
Are these friends? Just aquantences? Coworkers?

I would never hold my friends to such formalities or ever get pissed over such frivelous stuff like showing up a little late when their relatives came over. If they were late, I would call them. When 6:30 rolled around and they weren’t there, why didn’t you call them on their CELL PHONE? Were you just too busy being self absorbed and pissed off to check on them? Sure, they could have given you a courtesy call, but phones work both ways. And so does tolerance and compramise.

Now if these are just coworkers or less than friends, I could see your point.

Let me ask:
If some of the people involved were your family, would you be as pissed off? Like if your brother or sister showed up late or if they didn’t RSVP and showed up on time?

What do the slashes signify?

Kind of a post-script. Popular at fark.com.

If you sent a paper invitation, then I can see the outrage. For an e-vite? No way. Some people are very lax with e-mail use.

In any case, if this is the most pit-worthy recent event in your life, then consider yourself lucky. Seriously.


I thought it was just me. I can’t make sense out of the OP when it comes to actual tracking of people. It is supposed to be a rant about RSVP’s but I can’t account for much of that. Much of the problem seems to be about people being late which is a different issue.

Help! I am lost (along with Heffalump and Roo).

Consider me guilty. My friend from tennis handed me an invitation a few weeks ago, which I tucked into my tennis bag. She later told us over lunch that the invitation was for a party she was having on the 23rd and we all agreed that it was good timing because it was the opposite Friday from our regular mixed double league. When I got home, I duly noted it on the calendar.

Today she asked me if I was coming to her party. Frankly, I had forgotten to actually open the envelope to even read if she wanted an RSVP. She did. Oops.


Interesting how she went ahead and just asked you personally instead of getting all upset that you didn’t respond to her letter. Seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do.