I ain't serving worms, dammit!

The BBQ Pit
1

What is with all these people showing up EARLY all of a sudden???

The couple invited to a dinner “around six thirty”: ringing my doorbell at 5:45.

The appraisor: made an appointment for 6 p.m., leaves a note saying “I was here at 4, where were you?”

The church visitor: scheduled for a 10 a.m. vist, shows up at 9:35 a.m.

My mother’s health aide: scheduled for 9 a.m., shows up at 8:15 a.m.
C’mon people! I try very hard to be ready for meetings/dinners/whatever, but I plan on being ready AT THE SCHEDULED TIME not anywhere up to two hours early! :mad:

When you show up that early you screw up my whole schedule. Maybe I need to be assembling the appetizers at the last minute, maybe I still need to run the vac over the living room carpet, maybe I’m struggling with getting other tasks squared away BEFORE I can even think about whatever you’re supposed to be doing for/with me. Like that health aide: she comes to bath my elderly mother and do some other grooming. Fine, I appreciate that. But I have to get up, get to her house, get her up, and get her fed – all that takes time! Last week she’d barely gotten a bite of her breakfast when you showed up. “Running a little early,” you chirped. “I knew you wouldn’t mind.”

Well, dammit, I DO MIND. The next early bird who rings my doorbell is going to get the door shut in her face.

People, if you are running early for an appointment, KILL SOME TIME. Stop for a cup of coffee, park somewhere and listen to the radio, have sex with a random stranger…I don’t care, just don’t show up WAY TOO EARLY.
(Okay, you can show up early at businesses that have waiting rooms. Go ahead, read the ancient magazines. Just don’t do it at people’s homes. )

2

Good advice for life, really.

As much as I dislike people that insist on being early (particularly when it’s early in the morning- I’m much more forgiving in the evening), there is nothing in this world I detest more than lateness. Oh man, I really hate when people are late. In fact, I’ve broken up with a few guys that simply could not set their watches (we’re talking guys that thought it was ok to show up a couple hours late. . . just about every time). Oh, or everyone has that friend that just can’t be on time- in my life, that friend is no longer invited.

So early birds suck and certainly are deserving of their own scorn, but there is a special place in hell reserved for those that show up late for everything.

3

I can get behind this. I was always taught that it’s polite to be a little late to a social function (10-15 minutes) for that very reason - people might be scrambling to chill the wine, clean the lavvy… whatever. Unless, of course, you’re asked to be there at a precise time because they’re preparing a special dish that can’t get cold or something.

If you invite me over at 6:30 I’ll be there at 6:45.

It’s probably a little different for business appointments, but I’d think if you’re making a house call you need to be no more than 5 minutes late or early…

4

But to me, this makes no sense. If I ask you to be there at 6:30, I figure that you’ll show up at 6:30 and I plan to be ready by 6:30. If I meant 6:45, I would have said that.
Then again, 15 minuntes isn’t a big deal. So I suppose I’m just being picky.

5

Married to the party planner of the century, I have learned quite a bit. If you are having dinner at 6:30, request people to arrive starting at 6:00. Be prepared for guests at 5:30. We have always had success with this. People just don’t like coming at the requested time. They either want to be a little early or a little late.

On a different note, make sure you let party attendees know what type of refreshments will be served and this is especially true if you are having dinner, make sure they know if dinner is the start of the evening, the middle or the finale. Nothing worse than a party guest who shows up expecting a meal promptly and has to wait, or a person who came wanting to drink and socialize, but is immediately seated at a table.

6

It depends on the event. If you’re meeting up to go to a movie, be exact or up to 5 minutes early/late. If it’s an extended dinner/cocktail party, the time you show is less critical, so 15-30 minutes late is pretty normal. You don’t really want 15 people showing up at exactly the same time, do you? If you were invited individually for dinner, being late is bad because things may be cooking and timed for your arrival.

What I think is important is to be considerate of the time, the event, and our normal customs. There are people who have no sense of this, though usually it’s people being late, not early. Early is just weird.

7

My mother used to be the organizer for these religious meetings, which involved people from several different towns.

She gave a different meeting time to each person, based mostly on where they were from, aiming to get everybody there by 8pm. Hours given ranged between 7pm and 8. It worked beautifully, everybody arrived between 7:55 and 8:10.

My own notion of “punctual” is that (unless it’s a situation where it’ll be nice of you to help prepare the table) you should be there within 5 minutes of the scheduled hour. I’m still undecided on what grates me more: people who are late or people who show up soon and act all surprised that you’re not ready. Apparently they never understood this concept of “life goes on when you’re not looking”.

8

Heh. Being that early to a social thing is just weird to me. You’re supposed to be early/precise to meetings, doctor’s appointments and the like. I grew upp in a place where, if you had told people a party was going to start at 20.00, the first guest might be expected at 20.15, and that person would be considered politely early.

9

Exactly! Your mother brought you up right!

Not that I object to the exactly on timers, or even a FEW minutes early – that’s okay. But the only people who are allowed to show up a half-hour or more early are those who know you so well – either blood relatives or friends since first grade – that they know where you keep the potato peeler or Endust and will dive into helping without needing to ask how.
Hmmm. Maybe that’s the cure. The next person who arrives early gets handed a brush and the bottle of toilet cleaner! :cool:

10

Oh, absolutely. That “6:30 ish” invitation actually went more like: “Why don’t you and Bob come to dinner Thursday? We usually sit down to eat around seven, but if you come at 6:30 we can have a drink and chat first.”

Maybe that was my mistake. They wanted a LOT of drinks and chat. :smiley:

11

Man I thought it was just me. Yeah, I had a few potential relationships go nowhere because he couldn’t be troubled to show up on time. Same with the friendships…I don’t make accomodations and set earlier times for them. If you can’t respect me enough to be on time, then I don’t need you around me!

But the early thing would drive me crazy particularly in the situations mentioned by the OP. Dinner? 45 minutes before the dinner I’m still cooking it and getting ready and putting the finishing touches on the house. I’m not just sitting around waiting for my guests! And work/appraisals to be done? Nope, I like my schedule and am willing to work around yours, but I won’t be around two hours before you’re due to be there!

12

Sorry to double-post, but how true - if you’re coming early, you’re coming to work. That’s how it is in my culture, when a few families will show up early and the men will go drink and watch TV (:rolleyes:) while the women all gather in the kitchen and finish the cooking.

13

Not so much different in my family, to tell you the truth. The men all retreat to the living room before and after the meal. (My hubby, bless him, does try to help, but the older women all shoo him away as if he’s trying to enter Forbidden Women-Only Territory.)

As to the arriving early, to my shame, I had to get a little stern with my folks. The final straw was a couple of years ago at Thanksgiving.

My family eats Thanksgiving dinner early-- usually around 2 PM (but, hey, we also have Christmas on the 18th. We’re odd folk.) As soon as I bought my house, my mother announced that no longer would she host the family gathering. She was passing the “torch” to me. Okay, says I, no problem. I began to make plans for the feast.

At nine AM, on Thanksgiving morning, the doorbell rang and there stood my mother and grandmother, husbands in tow. They came over to help “get ready”, they cheerfully informed me. I had still been in bed having made all the preparations the night before. They proceeded to reclean the house I had cleaned the night before. I stood around, a fifth wheel in my own home, while they cooked, cleaned, set the table and washed dishes. After the meal, they ignored my protests and cleaned up all of the mess. My kitchen was sparkling when they left.

The next year I finally put my foot down and said they were my guests and dammit, they were going to behave as such! They were to arrive at one (though my grandmother is categorically incapable of arriving less than an hour before the announced time and came at noon.) I had to yank the plug out of the drain to stop my mother from washing dishes-- I have a dishwashing machine! I bullied them a little until they allowed me to actually host my own party.

Family! They do it for all the right reasons, and I do appreciate their thoughts, but I want them to have a good time, not work! (Don’t have to worry about that with the men, at least!)

14

Like I said: I show more than 5 min early if I’m showing up as an extra pair of hands. Otherwise I’m just underfoot.

15

On one hand, it’s annoying not to have them help. On the other hand, it also gives the women time to talk about the men, I suppose.

16

…how YOU doin’?

17

Due to my insane preferance for not being late, I am almost always early. But usually I go to a near-by bar and wait for the appointed time. With some old friends, they *know *I’m gonna be early and I just show up. but most of the time I wait somewhere.

18

Invite me over at 6:00, I’ll be there at 6:00. If I’m in the neighborhood at 5:45, I’ll be parked on a side street listening to the radio for 15 minutes.

I’ll do all I can to avoid being late, and I’m never early.

19

I do a similar thing to cope with my husband’s chronic lateness. If I really want to leave for the movies at 6:30, I tell him we MUST be out of the house by 6:00. He really never intends to be late, partly it’s his chronic optimism. He always underestimates how long it takes to get somewhere, for example, or how long he needs to get ready.

20

Would you happen to be married to my boyfriend?