Okay, I’ll spare you my aggravating personal familial politics; but tell me, Dopers – what do you think of people who are consistently one-half to one hour early for everything? (I am referring specifically to appointments they have with you.)
I was taught in the theatre that if you’re ten to fifteen minutes early you’re good, if you’re five minutes early you’re barely on time and if you’re on time you’re late. I guess it would depend on what they were early for. A party, it would bother me unless they planned on helping me set up. If it was a meeting they’re welcome to show up early but they should know they prob won’t be getting in to talk to me to much closer to the time. If it’s hanging out and watching tv or something for fun, then I’d really just appreciate a call telling me when you’re coming, nothing else really matters.
Honestly, I find it almost as rude as being late.
It depends on the situation. If it is a personal thing like a dinner party, I believe a few minutes early (5 or 10) is no problem. Any more than that and you’re taking away the host/hostess’ prep time.
If it’s an appointment for any type of business, I think I wouldn’t arrive more than 15 minutes early. If earlier than that, I’d wait in my car or down the hall (in an office building) etc.
Just my two cents.
They are truly the horror of the earth, and great and terrible punishment shall be unto them! :mad:
There, see? Do you feel better now? 
Not that I like people to arrive too late, but I do think one should be allowed to finish up one’s … well … whatever important things … whether tidying house, or having bath or anything, without idiots arriving half an hour early.
Of course, I also still reserve a bit of spite for anyone who says “aggravating” when they mean “annoying”, but I’m just like that. Generous with my bad tempers.
I’m habitually early for everything because I’m absolutely mortified about the thought of being late for anything.
But unless I’m showing up to a family/friend’s place where I know I can just rock up any old time and hang or help out, I’ll wait at the bus stop/ a nearby park/ in the waiting room and read my book/play my PSP until about 5-10 minutes before hand.
Way better early than late. If traffic is way light, and I get somewhere extra early, either I will go get a cup of coffee, or go ahead to the party and help set up.
Celyn: Well, ignorance fought yet again! You’re absolutely right, I did mean annoying. As in, “I find their being early annoying; and their being early every single time is only aggravating the situation!”
And thanks for the solidarity!
Yes, your method sounds good, but I had the impression that brujaja had in mind the people who will simply *not *judge whether better to to go for a coffee until a reasonable time but assume that, being family, they have licence to appear whenever and that usual politeness does not apply to them. I have visions of overbearing mothers, fathers, brothers, aunties here, all blithely convinced that civility is only for others. A pox unto them. 
Ach, shit, yes, sorry. (Looks for a shamefaced smiley) I *was *indulging in a little bit of snarky but it was meant as a joke, not meant to play nastily at schoolteacher. But thank you for taking it so well. Yep, we will build a team and remove this usage from the world.
People who arrive half an hour early for an interview or appointment bother me. They make me feel pressured; if I’ve factored in ten minutes for a cup of tea before the appointment time, I feel guilty for having it while they sit there waiting. Ten minutes is plenty.
Actually, according to dictionary.com, “aggravating” doesn’t have to mean “make worse.” It can also just be something irritating.
This bit of ettiquite I learned in Spanish class, of all things: Earliness is not appreciated in all cultures, and even then, to varying extents. Apparently, in Mexico, it’s considered a tad presumptuous to not show up moderately late to a social function (but never ever late for an appointment). Hence, “Mexican Time”
Too early is too much. If I’m expecting someone, chances are I’ve got things to do to prepare, and I plan my time so that I’ve got about 15 minutes of chill time. Show up an hour early, and I may be in the shower - and you do *not * want to see that!
It’s as bad a showing up an hour late. (I’m looking at you, R and L!!!)
I think they’re rude, and I’m one of those people who’s always early. I have gotten to places half an hour early or more. When I do, I’ll sit in the car and read or knit, or find somewhere to hang out for a while.
If I’m hosting something, I need that 30 minutes or an hour to do prep work, clean, etc. If someone shows up early, I’ll feel torn between the last minute stuff and trying to entertain them. brujaja, since it’s family, is there a chance you could discourage them from showing up early by putting them to work?
I’m guilty of being quite often late. And I’m late because I start too late, with nearly everything. That includes preparations for the appointment. I’m one of those people who will absolutely graciously and friendly welcome anyone who thinks they are late, because by my own schedule, they are perfectly on time.
The very worst are people like my mom and dad, who arrive usually late, sometimes hours late, but who will, every so often in a while, arrive on time or too early. Or on the wrong day. :mad:
Early is as rude as late. I tend to be early myself because I hate being late. So I stop somewhere and have a beer or something. A few minutes either way is acceptable, but half hour to an hour is not.
I had habitually late parents. I think that is why am always early, but like others here I rarely actually go in early - I cool my heels down the block or in the parking lot and try to arrive “on the dot”.
I’ve never once minded when someone is half an hour late or less. Often I’m running a bit behind myself, so that gives me a “grace period.”
I can’t stand it when people are early.
So re: the OP, I’d rather have someone be half an hour late than half an hour early. By far.
If I invite you over and you’re half an hour late, that just gives me a little extra time to perfect my hair/the food/my apartment/sit down and smoke a cigarette.
If you’re half an hour early, you may find me in all kinds of disarray. And I get flustered and can’t relax.
It isn’t your fault if I’m ready a bit early and you show up a bit late. But IMHO it IS your fault I’m ready a bit late and you’re a bit early.
Audrey Levins, you stated my sentiments perfectly. And God bless every one of you above who says that while you might arrive early, you wait graciously elsewhere and show up around when you’re supposed to.
Siege, that is a perfectly practical suggestion, and it has in fact worked for me in other situations.
Unfortunately, this is a more complicated situation involving visitation with my son. Here’s how the conversation went with me and him a few days ago:
Son: “X says that they have a function to attend and will be dropping me off half an hour early.” (We always meet at a nearby train station at noon, BTW.)
Me: “Sure, Honey. That’s fine. So I’ll see you at 11:30.”
Son: “Yeah, 11:30…well, knowing X, they’ll have me there at 11:00.”
Me: “That’s fine too. As long as I know when to be ready. So I’ll see you probably at 11:00.”
Son: “Yeah, 11:00.”
Me: “Now, that’s not going to be 10:30, right?” (we both laugh for obvious reasons.)
Two days later: It’s 10:30. I’m in the shower. The phone rings.
Now, the train station is a 10-minute bike ride from my house. If I know when they’re going to be there, I can meet them & son won’t have to sit around and wait for me. Every time I try to suss out how early they’re going to be, so I can leave early and meet them. And every time, they get there a little earlier than before. I feel like the only way I could be there to meet them is if I camped out there the night before.
My son had a friend with him this time, because they wanted to go to the legendary skatepark that’s here where I live. And they had to sit and wait while I got out of the shower, got dressed, & ran to the butcher for some meat for the pasta I planned to make them. (On the way to the train station.)
I don’t mind extra time with my son. I love it! But I feel like the goal here is to catch me not quite ready and make it appear as if I am late. And making him have to wait for me every time makes kind of a drag for him.
I couldn’t tell you, because I’ve never known anybody who was habitually early.